Starter Girlz Podcast

Connecting the Dots: Vision, Growth & Success with Steve Gamlin

• Jennifer Loehding • Season 7 • Episode 68

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IIn this episode of the Starter Girlz Podcast, host Jennifer Loehding speaks with motivational speaker and Vision Board expert Steve Gamlin about his journey of rebuilding his life through the Vision Board Mastery Method.

They discuss the power of visualization, gratitude, and positivity in creating a fulfilling life, as well as how to connect the dots between health, relationships, and career to achieve holistic success.

The conversation also explores the emotional impact of love, loss, and personal growth, highlighting the role of self-awareness and small habit shifts in overall well-being. From navigating grief to defining success, this heartfelt discussion emphasizes the power of vision boards, emotional connections, and personal stories in manifesting dreams and achieving goals.

Takeaways:

  • Visualization is key to finding purpose and success.
  • Connecting health, relationships, and career leads to holistic success.
  • Success is about who you become, not just what you achieve.
  • Small shifts in habits can create significant life changes.
  • Overcoming challenges is part of the journey to success.
  • Grief requires support, and humor can be healing.
  • Vision boards can help manifest your goals and dreams.

To learn more about Steve and his work, visit https://stevegamlin.com/.

Welcome to the Starter Girlz podcast, your ultimate source of inspiration and empowerment. We're here to help women succeed in every area of their lives, career, money, relationships, and health and well-being while celebrating the remarkable journeys of individuals from all walks of life who've achieved amazing things. Whether you're looking to supercharge your career, build financial independence, nurture meaningful relationships, or enhance your overall well-being. the Starter Girlz podcast is here to guide you. Join us as we explore the journeys of those who dare to dream big and achieve greatness. I'm your host, Jennifer Loehding and welcome to this episode. Welcome to another episode of the Starter Girlz podcast. Wherever you are tuning in today, we are so glad to have you. I'm your host, Jennifer Loehding, and I am so excited about my guest today. This is going to be so much fun. I just can't wait to chat with him. I want to ask you a question out. What is the key to finding purpose and building a life you love lies in the power of visualization, gratitude, and positivity? New thought, right? My guest today has rebuilt his life from the ground up and now helps others do the same with his vision board mastery method. And so you guys are going to hear from him in just a few minutes. But before we do that, I do need to do a quick shout out to our sponsor. This episode is brought to you by Walt Mills Productions. Need to add excitement to your YouTube videos or some expert hands for editing? Look no further. Walt Mills is the solution you've been searching for. Walt is not only your go to guy for spicing up content. He's the force behind a thriving film production company with numerous titles in the pipeline. Always on the lookout for raw talent, is eager to collaborate on film and internet productions. With a background deeply rooted in entertainment and promotion, Walt Mills leverages years of skills to give you the spotlight you deserve. Want to learn more about Walt and his work? Head on over to waltmillsproductions.net and let your content shine. All right. And before I my guest on, do want to make a mention to head on over to StarterGirlz.com There you can pick up this episode, of course, all our other episodes, any of those that you missed and catch up with the future episodes. You can sign up for our newsletter and then that way you never miss an episode or a blog that goes out. All right, so let's get the guest on today. Steve Gamlin is a motivational speaker. author, stand-up comedian, and the founder of the Vision Board Mastery Method, a program that helps frustrated entrepreneurs stop hustling and grinding and start finding true purpose in their lives. After overcoming a complete personal professional meltdown at age 35, Steve rebuilt his life better than ever, publishing books, delivering award-winning speeches, and co-founding a nonprofit dedicated to acts of kindness. With humor, authenticity, and powerful insights, Steve inspires others to embrace gratitude, positivity, and intentional action to create meaningful success. So Steve, welcome to the show. I am so excited to have you here today. Thank you, Jennifer. Very happy to be here. Looking forward to our conversation. And it's gonna be so much fun. And for our audience, just so you guys know, I don't know, they maybe don't know what I do, but you know, every time I bring a guest on, I always like to have like a little pre-interview call. It's not even a formal interview, right Steve? It's not even a formal interview. It's just, hey, I wanna get to know you, let you know a little bit about me before we show up. But Steve and I sat on that Zoom for a really long time and chatted. So I knew when we did this episode today, it's gonna be really good because we had such a great conversation the first time. And I always know when I meet somebody and it's like, we just like click and good conversation that these episodes are gonna be great when they go out for our audience. So super excited to have you here today. Awesome, looking forward to it. All right, Steve, so let's start off. What I wanna talk about a little bit is what you're doing. This vision, the vision thing, mastery method, all of this you got going on. What led to this? Because I think this is important in what you're doing with your work now. What got me here was everything I've done at various stages of my life. And it all started when I was about 11 years old. I wanted to be a radio DJ, a stand-up comedian, an author of my own books, and a teacher of people, but not in a classroom. And over time, I enjoyed 10 years in the radio industry, worked 15 years worth of hours, burnt myself into the ground. I've self-published four books so far. I've been a speaker now for about 20 years. And I get to coach and teach people how to visualize their best life. So I'll be 57 this year. And looking back, I have been able to do everything I wanted to do when I was 11 years old. And I wish more people could actually say that about themselves with pride and is as high as the highs have been in as low as horrifically low as some lows have been. Got through it all and just kept rebuilding and rebuilding and rebuilding like a phoenix rising out of the ashes. One of my stage stories is actually called, some days your phoenix rides a pogo stick. Meaning you go back in the ashes and just fly higher every time. Yeah, no, I love it. And I love that you mentioned, you know, something that you talked about being 11 because I do think that so often people don't really ever get to do the things that they really enjoy doing because they lose sight of those things. And I think, you know, I had I've mentioned maybe I told you this the last time I had mentioned this so many times on different episodes about a guest that came on my show way back when I first started the starter girls podcast. And she said that your talents find you if you're really looking. You know, you dig, can, you will find that they find you. And if they do find you, a lot of times you're probably doing something you enjoy doing. You're doing something in your wheelhouse. And so it's funny, I was just talking right before I jumped on here with you, I was talking to a guy that's also a coach, works in the, where, a little bit more with like military athletes, but he does some creators too. He said he got into his work initially. because he took, I guess, an acting class in school. And then he's, now he's a professional stuntman. So he's done like some of the movies you're familiar with. He's got some that are coming out, but like there are movies that you're familiar with. You can look him up. I'll tell you when we get off here. But, and I asked him, said, how did you get, how did all this evolve? Because he's doing this coaching. Well, he's got a, you know, he's a PhD, but he's organizational psychology, sports psychology. And if you look at everything that he's done, it all connects, it all sort of the stuntman. Working with the military athlete, all this stuff, it connects, but it all started and was inspired by this acting class or whatever that he took when he was a kid. You know? Like I said, love how you said that it finds us. everything I do is something that I love to do as a kid and even through my adult years. And some people say, well, you know, what's your dream job? I said, think of something you love to do now, figure out a way to make money at it. right? that's so good. I just saw a video yesterday, you know, because tick tock was gone and it came back. So yesterday, I'm on there because look, I I love here's what I laugh about. Like tick tock. I love to get on tick tock to look at cat videos. I'm that the cat videos on the dog because they're happy they met when I'm in a mood. I might just go with for some cats for a while right? But I got on there yesterday, because I do have people in there and I do put stuff in there. I saw a video yesterday about, she was a career coach and she was talking about finding something that you love to do. And that's what she was talking about was, if you, you may like, like she was talking to this kid and he said he liked golf, right? But he wasn't going to play golf. And so he started, but he would light up when he would talk about just the smell of golf, all of this. And so she started kind of backpedaling. and finding him something that he could do. And so now he's to school to learn how to create golf courses or something like that. So he's not gonna play golf, but he's gonna find something in the golf space that he actually can enjoy doing. And so I think that's so important because sometimes I think we have a love for something and we go, well, for instance, I love to play the piano, but I'm not gonna make a career out of playing the piano. But if I wanna do something, maybe I could find something that could be piano teacher or, Or how, know what mean? It's like, find that thing you love. How do you find something that wraps around that so that you don't go, well, if I can't do that one thing, then I don't do anything at all, you know? Yeah, you got to find your flavor in there at least have the flavor of something and I think that's that's a big thing that it lights the spark in your heart To do something and so many people say I hate my job. I hate my job I hate my job and I'll suggest well, why don't you find another job? no, I get great benefits and I make a lot of money doing it But you're miserable and they said yeah Yeah, but I'm gonna retire with a whole bunch of money and all this and thinking 25 years from now now you're gonna be older more miserable with a decent checking account And what's the point? It's not like you got to run away in too many too many people in my industry say, you know, find your passion or what's the one I hear all the time? If you love your job, you'll never work a day in your life. What a steaming pile of crap that is. That is not that is way off in my opinion. Again, everything I say is my opinion. You know, I was I owned a DJ company and I was. professional DJ and MC for corporate events and weddings for 28 and a half years. did seven, was part of 1700 events. And I loved doing it. I loved actually being live and playing music and on the mic. When you're unloading equipment at two in the morning and it's three degrees below zero and LL Bean does not exactly make tuxedos, it feels like work. Right, right. Yeah, it felt like work a lot in my chiropractor. I've got, you know, chiropractic x-rays to prove it that I just messed myself up all those years carrying heavy equipment around. But it's not that I didn't love it, but it was work. And we got to stop thinking that these magical jobs, especially for younger people, teens and people in their twenties, you're going to have to work. yeah, yeah, yeah. think you know what I think when I hear that, because no, I agree with you. You I think that we have. Yes, we have to get away from this idea that if we want to do something, it's just going to happen, right? We have to work because all of us do. But I think you know what I feel like is that when you find something that you love, you're willing to do that like you're willing to do that work. You know what I mean? Because you know that there's there's. It's part of the process, right? Like it's part of that process. Like I think every day, like, I mean, if I were to say to somebody, it's like, I look at my YouTube, this podcast in particular, this Starter Girlz we're talking about right now. I've been building this show since 2019 and I took a hiatus for a year because I was building another show, left it in place and it was getting downloads. Now here's the funny thing. In the last six months, I've been really working to build the YouTube. Like I put my energy into the YouTube. And we started out at the beginning when I, when I picked the show back up in 23, we were at about 3000, I think 3,500 followers. And we're sitting at about, we're a little over 18 right now, 18,000 followers. But think about this. I started this in 2019. You talk about the bamboo plant, the bamboo tree, right? You talk about putting something out there and we had the momentum and the speed in the beginning. then. All the derailments. mean, I lost my co-host, brought another one on. We opened up another, started, launched another show. I wasn't super excited about that one. After a year, 18 months, a year, whatever, two years doing that, I get rid of that one, bring this one back. And now this one's starting to grow. And now we've got people that are reaching out. Like, I mean, every day I've got, I'm not talking just outside of where I met you, but I'm talking agents now trying to get in, you know, people in. And I'm like, I don't have room. I'm at a place now where again, where I'm having to be like. Let me think about this. Let me look at the calendar. Cause I don't even know where I'm to put you in right now. It's a fun thing, right? But it's work. And I've had to put in the money and the time and the effort, just like you have. We all have to, but on the same token, I enjoy the work I get to do. Not every minute of it. I don't enjoy every minute. I don't enjoy doing all the show notes and I don't enjoy doing all the technical stuff, but I love the conversations and I love meeting the guests and I love sharing their stories. That's the stuff that lights me up. So all that other stuff, yes, I don't like it, but I do it because I love the other parts. Yeah, there's a great book that I love. It's one of the audio books I've listened to more than any others. And it's called Gung Ho and it's by Ken Blanchard and Sheldon Bowles. And there's a great phrase in there, worthwhile work. And in the story, there's a particular division of this factory going on. And this one division sales high above every single other one. And because everything they do is worthwhile work, they have pride in what they do. They work extra hard to get things done. and they just keep winning and winning and winning because it is worthwhile work but it's still work. Yeah, yeah, it's good stuff. Good stuff. So let's talk about your method. Like I don't want you to spill everything because obviously we want somebody to come to you. We don't want to give all the, you know, tell them everything and then they won't have a reason to talk to you, right? What makes this different? Like what is this about for you? Because I feel like, you know, we talked about this. I have my own little unique mechanism I created and that's what makes us different is that we have something. It's not just, Hey, we're talking about affirmations or poster board, you know, putting those goal posters on the wall, right? We want to We wanna have something that when people walk away, they're like, man, that was like powerful. It's gonna help me make transformation. So tell us a little bit about what makes you unique. Yeah, well what happens right around the beginning of every year is people, mean, I've got the GotVision t-shirt and people know I created Vision Board Mastery. And they say, oh Steve, I made a vision board. And I always say the same thing, send me a picture. What do I see most often? Lamborghini, yacht, private jet, mansion, big honking gold watch, and a bank full of gold bars or pallets of cash. And I'll say, okay, where'd you get inspired by that? Oh, I saw some motivational guy and I saw his videos and he had all this stuff in there. That's what success is. Wow, you know I say, okay, where are you in this? Because as far as the vision goes a really big thing and I just heard Ed Mylett say this the other day as well I mean so many of us that get it say this For me a vision. It's not just what you get It's who you become in the process because you want to become a better version of yourself and one of the first things I ask people is Okay, that's all the material stuff. That's fine. What about your physical health your emotional well-being your relationships, your closest ones, your core values and ethics that guide everything you do, think and speak, your faith and spirituality, if that's an important part of your life, your real connection with people, which took a beating during the pandemic, depression and addiction were spiraling, and then your work and your money. And people say, well, yeah, but I just I made a vision board just for the material stuff. Should I make one for each one of those things? No. One board. can have all of these things on it because when you think about it, all eight of those areas are working together 24-7 and most people don't get this. I talk to people in their 20s that go, yeah, I'm gonna make a million dollars this year, I'm gonna work like 100 hours a week and I'll ask you, you married? And he goes, yeah. I go, you won't be at the end of the year. I predict, even if it's moments a day, I believe you need to have goals and efforts in each one of those eight categories and it takes a lot less work. than a lot of people realize. It's interesting that you say that because when I go back and I think about where I was like in my 20s, 30s, even in, cause I'm in my early 50s now, but thinking even up until probably early 40s, think a lot of my trans, I feel like a lot of my journey started right before I turned 40, but I feel like, like in the last few, like maybe four or five years, I've had like the most transformation, but it's interesting. Cause when I look back and if you would have said all this to me, I would have been like, I would have never thought about it. I would have been the same way. I'd be like, oh, what's success? I want to make $100,000 a year. And how am going to do that? I'm going to work my butt off to do that. But I would have never connected all those dots. And I think for a lot of us, it's a wisdom thing. I think something happens and it forces us to look at life. And when we look at life, then we start going, OK, I'm not happy in this particular situation. There's got to be more to this than just what I'm doing on this level. So for instance, in mine, I had a health condition that came up and when the health condition happened, it turned my world upside down. And when it turned my world upside down, it forced me to have to go, okay, I'm exercising every day and that's not helping it. And now I'm doing all this, I'm starting to do this and that's not working. And then it really forced me to have to open wide and say all that stuff you're talking about now, what else is going on in my life that's contributing to this? And that's, really, will tell you for me, It was going into this holistic practitioner. He was an older gentleman. And I remember him sitting across the desk from me and him going, so what were you doing at the time that this started? And I was like, are you implying that I contributed to this? I got defensive and just pissed. I was mad because the condition that I had at the time, it's called trigeminal neurology. It's called a suicide disease. It's extremely... painful, I don't wish it on anybody, it's nerve pain basically in your face is what it is. So imagine worst toothache ever, that's probably what I can best associate with. But anyways, so imagine he says this to me and I'm thinking, dude, I went to the dentist, I went in the dentist, I come out, five months later I'm diagnosed with this. And you wanna say what was I doing to contribute to, I just went to the dentist dude, got my teeth done. But when I really backed up. and I started looking at how, like I became more self-aware and accountable. I started looking at, okay, now how did I contribute to this? And I realized that at that time, know, like, and I've said this, people that have listened to this podcast over the journey have heard me say this a hundred times, but I was a mom, I'm still a mom, but at that time my kids were 16, 12 and eight, and I was running a business and I was field trip mom and homeroom mom, PTA mom. I was like the driver mom. And guess what else? I was in the fast food lane every single day. That was my life because we were on the go go go go. And so when I looked was able to look back and reflect, I was able to start saying OK, there's gotta be more to this. That contributes to not just our health, but everything, our relationships, our finances, everything. And here's the thing, Steve. You probably know this. It's like how we show up in one area is how we show up in all the areas. So even though the things are. It could be, it's the same thing, but they manifest very differently in all the areas of our lives. And that's when I started to connect it. So all this stuff you're talking about, yes, a hundred percent, because it's not just take care of your relationship. It's not just take care of how you eat. It's not just take care of your sleep. It's everything, your health, your wellbeing, your spirituality, your relationships, your finances. It's all the pieces that have to come together. And so I love that you're pointing that out because I don't know that everybody has that awareness, right? Like we don't all think that. Unless we dig really deep and come to terms with ourselves and look inward. Yeah, when I start asking people when we have our first coaching conversations and i'll start asking questions about relationship or health or this and you What are your habits and all that and they're like, yeah, but I I want all this stuff Well, we'll get there. I mean there's for all that stuff. There's nothing wrong with any of those things I listed by the way, there's not a thing wrong with them, but Who are you in all this is the question and i'll ask them, you know How how how many hours of sleep do you get per night? What do you eat for food? Usually, you know, what's how's your relationship and And basically, like you said, how are you showing up in each of these areas of your life? You know, do you let doors slam on people? Are you an acts of kindness person? Like I try to be. And every time I go through a door, I look over my shoulder to see if there's somebody else I can let in because it's going to create a connection. Now connections good. And I told somebody one time, even if you make that little shift to to eat better food, like you talked about, you're in the fast food lane every day. If you eat better food. It's going to make you healthier and give you more energy. You're to probably sleep better at night. When you sleep better, you wake up with more energy. When you wake up with energy and focus, you can work more efficiently. When you work more efficiently, you can potentially earn more money. When you earn more money, you can spend some more quality time in your relationships. And then your emotional well-being is better. And then if you're a kind person and have good core values and ethics and faith, you get to make better connections with people. So just by choosing to take better care of your health. That just impacted all other seven areas of your life. So it's the little shifts and habits you develop over time that will get you from where you are to where you want to be. And that's where all of my work starts with Steve, right? There's us, us, because I know that when we all that, and I love that you just laid all that out because if you tell somebody, cannot connect those dots. And I don't know about you, but you know, I probably shared this with you. had a, an ADHD coach come on here and she said, you know, for people that are ADHD brain, they go A plus B and they're an F. So C D E like they don't even explain that. Right. And that's what I get into because I will be like, okay, you just need to start here because we're going to F and they're like, I don't see the connection from A to F. Well, let me, now I gotta take it down like you just said and explain that. Cause in my brain, it's just common sense when you take care of you, when you work on you. all the other parameters, your relationships, your money, your career, everything else just falls in place, but not everybody gets that. And so I do think it's important that we explain it. And thank you for doing that because it's absolutely, we are at the core of everything that goes on. And people ask me all the time in my work, like, why do I do this? Why do I do it? I do it because listen, even for selfish reasons, when you show up differently, you make my world better. because you now have the impact to go out and change the lives of 10 other people around you. And they may have the ability to change 10 around them. That's how this works. We have the ability to create influence and impact every single day. And it starts with how we show up into the world. Yeah, I referred to it as leaving a trail of plus signs behind me wherever I go every day whether it's being part of a show I mean I've been on Hundreds of podcasts all around the world over the past 18 years and every single time all I want to do is Make that experience in that conversation leave plus signs for anybody who might be listening somebody who's listening to the very first Their very first episode of the starter girls podcast today I hope we'll want to dig back into your archives and say, I want to hear more about the people that Jennifer has had on the show. So, and I mentioned, you know, just holding a door for somebody behind me, paying compliments. love to, I love to do a game called shopping cart rodeo, which means every shopping cart I rescue on a windy day is not going to ding someone's car. I just look for a way that there's a trail of plus signs behind me. And the best part about it is I will never run out. own the damn factory. I just make some more. Yeah, that's great. You do some of the things that I do too. It's so funny because when you're talking about the door, I do this too when I go to the gym. It's so funny because I always consciously when I'm going to go out a door, I look behind me to make sure nobody's right. Because there is nothing more annoying than when you go out the door, somebody just lets the door slam in your face and you're right. They just have no awareness behind them, around them. Yeah. And you're like, it's just, it's like, stop and pause and think about. You know, I always think of the what is it that go give due unto others as you would want them to do it. I had 22 years of Mary Kay that ingrained in my head. And so I do try to think from that premise of, hey, how would I want to be treated or how would I like something? So I love the cart thing too, because I see that I do that to address me nuts when I see carts that are like up by somebody's car. I'm could you just not walk the car or the cart over to the little place and push it in and not, you know, had that role into somebody's car? Because nobody wants that in their car. You know, it's just Being mindful, I love it. I love it. Good stuff. So I know you've had a lot. mean, I think, you know, going through all this, I've talked about your meltdown at 35, right? We talked about that. I feel like we all have these moments. And I know you've had some hard stuff that's come up recently. And I don't want you to feel like you have to talk about that. think these are important lessons for our people because, you know, this is what this is all about. And this is why it's so important for us to get grounded, right? Like it's so important for us to be centered. Yeah, one of the greatest stories that I share on stage and have for 17 and a half years is how my wife Tina and I reconnected after 21 years of zero communication. We went to high school together. I had a crush on her for three years and never asked her out. you know, we just had our lives and heard, heard or saw nothing of each other for 21 years. And after the meltdown at age 35, I really wanted to work on myself for a couple of years. And I just at that point I was just becoming a speaker learning what vision boards even were learned from the secret And I started to kind of perfect them for myself and made myself The the happiest version of me that had been and I said I wrote down in early june of 07 I am ready to fall in love And on june 16th Of 2007 she showed up in an email from 1350 miles away after 21 years of zero communication And we have been together It turned out she had a crush on me in high school too. It never said a word. So our entirely Oprah worthy head over heels in love 17 and a half years. And unfortunately, in December of last year, we were traveling over to London and she passed away unexpectedly and suddenly. And my journey now is, is working through that and doing my best to find, you know, it's, like any other storm. You get the clouds, the wind, the thunder, the lightning. But what I'm looking for is when those clouds crack apart at the end and that one ray of light comes through. And I know that's her keeping her eye on me now. And it's been a very difficult journey. It's been difficult navigating every part of the journey, not just emotional, but everything with relation to life and everything we've created. So a big part of what I'm doing now is continuing every day. Keep making plus signs. Keep connecting with people. Don't isolate. Right. Have conversations with people whose passion is to help people work through stuff. So I'm part of a grief support group coming up. I've counseling calls and all of that. And my family and friends, I tell you, I am so blessed. They keep checking in on me and making me laugh because I love to laugh. Right. And they've got my back. And I've got this amazing tribe of people. who have kept me going at a time when, gosh, when it first happened, I just thought, who am I now? You know who I am? I'm a guy who's honoring his Tina. I always call her my Tina. Who's honoring his Tina. In the work I do, I'm becoming my own student again. I'm coaching myself through all of this and having conversations with people like you who are so respective of where my life is. And I'm so happy that you asked that because I didn't want to go through a show and pretend it didn't happen, but I want to. A big part of already spoken with my agent about this I told her about the third day I was still all alone in London dealing with all this and I told her I want to help people who are going through this because this is hell on earth. If I can find a way to do it with dignity integrity even a little humor in there and connection. I want to help other people with this so as far as even all the social media messages that I've shared and I only share one a day on Facebook. Ever since that day has been all about this journey. And I just got a message this morning for somebody, a private message saying, I've been reading your posts every day. You didn't know this, but I'm going through something very similar and your messages are helping me. So I'm, I'm, helping myself and just sharing it publicly. And I'm, so honored by everyone who's reached out. mean, gosh, she, she was so loved. And the greatest compliment I received was You know, I never met Tina, but I knew her because of the way you talk about her and the way you always have. So it's, it's a new phase to my journey, but it's one that I'm just going to go through every single day because I just, I'm still head over heels in love with her and will be forever. And she keeps showing up. She broke my favorite spatula last week. It got caught in the drawer and it shattered because she just bought two new ones recently and said, why don't you throw away the old one? I said, it still works fine. And A week and a half ago it broke in the drawer and I looked up and I went, okay. So she's still here and I'm still here and we're here and we're just, going forward. You got to keep, going, keep growing and keep showing up. Yeah, there's so much. Yeah. First of all, I'm glad that you're being you found humor in the spatula because I do think you need humor. And I think and you know this, I think we talked about this. I have so many comedian friends and they always talk about how in in comedy you take the pain and that's how you find humor in the pain. And so I think I think it's great that you're able to do that because I do think it helps you get through stuff. A hard thing. I mean, I have not been through something like this. I know people that have. And it's a hard thing, you know, and I'm glad that you've got the support. I love that you said you're like, I don't know what your exact words were, but basically reteaching yourself because life is hard and we're all at some point going to be afflicted with something, you know, where we have to work through that. And I think that this is the part where getting grounded with yourself and learning coping strategies and having a support system and like you're doing continuing to keep moving. allows people to thrive because when you do start isolating, know, it's it's and not doing anything that it makes it, I think, worse, you know, so I admire you for showing up. I admire you for talking about it. I love that you're posting and I love that you had somebody reach out to you because I do think that people do get into those and they feel they're they feel they're alone, you know, in this in a journey and there's some kind of. therapy that goes through that, having somebody that you can connect with with similar experiences. Yeah, and and I I love writing them every day and it's funny They're they're some of the most effortless writing i've ever done in my life Wow, and people say how long does it take you to craft those messages? I say well, I log on and I just start typing Yeah, the the day after the spatula broke. I just it just fell out of my head. I wrote tina broke my spatula and then three dashes and then I told the story below that and people said that line alone had me cracking up because in you were able to find humor, I love it. As we were always so funny together and joyful together and it just it was the really we made a fairy tale come true on purpose every day and. So these messages are just they're falling out of my head and my heart every day because of where I'm at that day I needed something to laugh about so I wrote Tina broke my spatula. like it well we'll keep praying for you and I know you're going to you're going to get through this life is it's just it's complex thing and it's it's hard I you know I I think about all the time it's like you get the good and the bad right you never be it always gets me back to thinking about the Barbie movie you know where she added if you saw the goofy Barbie movie that was out but no there's not in the movie no we're not bright worth watching but there is kind of a deeper meaning to the show it has a little more context context to it. But in the movie, she has the opportunity to become real and not be a Barbie anymore. And she decides she wants to be real because she wants to feel things. And so it makes me think of that when I think of life, because it's like, how would you feel the good if you didn't feel the pain and the bad, right? Like you have to have all the stuff in life to have all the moments. so every time I, I don't want to like, make that, you know, minuscule it to that. that Barbie movie, like I watched it, I was surprised when I watched it. like, there's actually a little deepness to this movie. It's not so stupidly, I mean, there was a lot of stupid in it, but it had a little bit of context to it, you know? It's real life. You need to have those extremes to be able to appreciate what you have. I you know, I've got I've got one of our favorite pictures of us together upstairs. There's a whole shelf that is dedicated to her. There was a Christmas gift that she bought me that she gave me a couple of weeks before we left for England. And it says it's our first house. And it's it's kind of like a it's a map board with a cut out of a house. And inside of it is the road map of our town with the heart exactly where our house is geographically on our town map. And it has our names, the year we bought the house and that's there. I got a little tiny keepsake urn that is absolutely beautiful with just a little bit of her ashes because she wished she had wished to be cremated. And that's all there in this one place in a candle that my speaker agent gave me that I burned just a little bit each day. Well, the other day after I was done working out in the morning, I always go over and talk to Tina and just, just think about her. opened up the blinds in the living room and the sun coming through the trees across the street. only lit up that shelf. was it. It was right there. And I took a picture of it and I just looked up and I thought, babe, you're up early. All right. You know, it's the light shining on her and I'm and all of a sudden, we were like that all the time. I believe I did. Yeah. I'm pretty sure I did. If I didn't, it's kind of, you know, in the, in the queue to becoming You need to get that out because I love to find that the humor and because it just it takes this it makes it just a brighter situation. I love it. That was that's how we were together all the time and there was a card she gave me and she said she said my favorite moments are and she said snuggling on the couch and being silly in the kitchen together and making Steve laugh because we would make dinner together at least four nights a week in the kitchen together. We had Alexa as our jukebox. We would shout out songs and laugh and dance and tell stories and so why would I ever stop being that way and being playful with her? still here. Right. You know? And it goes back to everything I do. And again, I'm coaching myself through all this because of what I coach others on. And the interesting thing about that we all know the best way we learn right is to help others I think work our own stuff is by helping other people I know that in some of my not to make light of yours with my I've felt like I've had some of my hardest moments I've found to be cathartic when I was helping other people because it took me out of my own my own my own pain and grief right allowed me to pour into somebody else and I think that really gets back to that whole idea of growth and contribution that We hear, you know, I always talk about like Maslow's hierarchy of needs or even Tony Robbins talks about it in the human needs that higher level when we hit that where we're continuing to grow, but also giving back, finding a way to contribute and help someone else. I spent Saturday morning baking about 75 or 80 cookies that just brought to a homeless shelter because my family and I have a nonprofit and we swap every other Sunday, my mom and stepmom who are best friends. They're called the Beach Bum Moms because it's Beach Bum philanthropy. So this weekend was my turn because it was really the first time in a while I've been able, I've even been here to do it and it just felt so good. to be baking cookies for people who are just coming off the street for a place to hopefully stay warm and safe for a couple hours. So that's what I love to do with my time when I can is just contribute and connect. And it's a lot better therapy than some of the other stuff out there. Yeah, well, you said a lot of really good stuff and thank you for sharing that because I think I didn't know if we were gonna I know you and I talked before and I didn't know if we were gonna talk about that but I think it's great for somebody listening to this because there's probably somebody somewhere that is going through something really hard right now and hearing this story, you know, I've had people come back and tell me that they heard an episode, you know, way back that somebody I had on the show said and that just that particular one resonated and it was like. I needed to hear that at that moment. And that's why I do this show. It's really to show every day that there are impeccable human beings, everyday people out there that are doing incredible things, right? And living extraordinary. But that also comes with all the hard things too. It's not like we're gonna paint, put our rose color glasses on, not see all that everything, things happen and we have to go through life. And I think this is great. Thank you for sharing it and being authentic and vulnerable and all the things. My pleasure. It's the only way I know how to be. And I appreciate that you asked. I really do. Because I do hope it helps somebody who's out there today or hears it in the archives someday. Yeah, well, it'll be out there. So, and I'm sure people are going to listen to this episode. So we've got a lot of incredible great guests. It's been a fun journey and I admire, all of you guys that come on here and talk about your stuff. So I would love to ask you, you know, like maybe for somebody who is kind of starting out and they want to start, I don't know, maybe there might be, talking about earlier, they looking at this and they're like, how do we define success? And they're like, I want to make a hundred thousand a year, you know, like. What is something, you have them go through these, but is there something particular, a question you ask them or something you could say they could work on right now to kind of guide them? Yeah, and it goes to the the emotions in your senses and they'll say Just say for example, I want to make a hundred thousand dollars this year. Great What does that look like? Yeah, let's say well, it looks like a bank account with a hundred thousand dollars in it. go. okay What does it feel like? And say well, feels great. like, well, what are you gonna do with a hundred thousand dollars? mean is it is it you know for your child's college fund? Is it for a second home? You want to buy a boat and go fishing? What do you want to do with that? And so i'll start with look like feel like sound like smell like taste like and when I get to taste and smell the like. My goals smell. Let's just say for example, they want to boat. Okay, you want to fish on the ocean or efficient a big Lake somewhere. I want to fish on the ocean. Okay, do you want to catch. want to catch cod. Okay, you're to catch release or you're to catch and keep one to make dinner. I love to make dinner. We love we love to have a fish fry at our house. So what are your favorite seasonings and they're talking about that and I say well. you're have a fish fry, you're have a barbecue too and have people over? Yeah, okay, who are your favorite people? Who are you gonna invite? What music are you gonna play in the background when you're having your barbecue? And all of a sudden they're telling me this whole big story about the boat they wanna buy, they wanna go fishing in the ocean, they wanna catch cod, they wanna have a fish fry and a big party at their house, play some music and have a barbecue. And then I say, now, find pictures that represent that, or words or hashtags or whatever. Put those on your board. I said it's the full on experience. It's not just the thing. It's not just a hundred thousand dollars. It's right. What's that going to do in your life? What's it going to create? And then just remember what does it look like? Feel like sound like smell like taste like when you can start to create the story. I mean, I'm a storyteller by nature. I just I've done this naturally my entire life. And again, found a way to make money at it, doing something I loved. So when you get people to create their own stories like that, they feel it a lot more deeply. And they're also a lot more connected to it when they get up in the morning. They know their why because the why is the spark in your heart and the gas in your tank that's going to keep you going when you're getting down about stuff. Trust me. I have had to rely upon my why and dig really deep over the past couple of months to rediscover it, to keep me going. And every time I do, I get right back up and I put something out there because somebody might need it today. And if I don't share it, someone else is going to suffer for it because I was I was down and I forgot my why for a day. So that's why I get up. That's why I still am part of yours is the first podcast and first conversation I've had since then. So this is all fresh and new and I appreciate you asking and allowing me to share this. Well, thank you for agreeing to continue. I want to say something in listening to you. think that's really good with all the questions you're asking because I think that's important. It's a lot of times we don't, on our own, we need that other person sometimes to come in and ask all those questions because we're not thinking about that, right? Especially if we're very, I don't know, like we get, I would say it's kind of like when you're a creative and when you get into your analytical brain, it's hard to be creative, right? Because your brain is being systematic all the time. And I think so often we get into, okay, this is what I want, but then we don't talk about how does that feel? What does that look like? And so we don't even have a visual representation of that. We just know, but when we start digging deeper, we get more grounded around it, right? Like we're more rooted in it versus, I wanna make 100,000. That'd be great, cause I'll have money. Okay, well, what does that look like when you have that money? You know, it gives you freedom. it gives you time with your kids. What does that look like? now I get to travel. I get to spend more time with my kids. What's that like? they're happy. We get to do this. You you're asking those questions. So think that's what's really impactful here is the question asking to seek that understanding. Yeah, and you just said a great one there with regard to parents having special time and quality things with their kids. Sometimes they think, well, we're going to do that one vacation to Disney for five days this year, and that's going to take care of the year for me and my kids. And I'll say, well, why don't you ask your kids what they like doing most? Right. And I suggested to one of them, I said on Sunday night, he had two kids. had a little boy and a girl. I said, you ask each one, OK, on daughter Wednesday night, son Thursday night. What's a special 15 or 20 minute activity you want to do with daddy. What do you love most when we're together in one of them said I love when you read a book to me at night. That was the daughter and the son said I love playing dinosaurs on the floor in the living room after dinner. Yeah, so there he was the following Thursday with his son playing dinosaurs on the floor. In the end they were so happy and he said my God Steve because this is so much easier than. Thinking okay kids. We're gonna spend five days out of 365 in the year at Disney with a billion other people screaming and spending a ton of money when all he had to do was read a book and play dinosaurs in there his kids were ecstatic Good. Alright, well, one last question I want to ask you and this is kind of a personal question I would like to know and I think kind of express this all through it, but I'd like maybe just sum it up in words. What do you love about this work that you get to do? What's what? What is it for you? And I love that you said get to because that's that's a phrase I use a lot. What I love is seeing the impact that it has on other people. When I'm on stage, I don't aim for the front row because the front row is already giving me all the feedback in the world. That's why they're sitting in the front row. They want to be a part of it. When I see somebody in the shadows who looks like they want to bolt out of there and maybe not make a good decision in their lives, but they stay and they may come up at the end and say. I really needed that. That's what I love most is seeing the impact. I don't need applause. I don't do it just for money. Obviously I got bills to pay. I do it because I love to see the impact it can have on somebody else to believe in themselves a little bit. And here's why I do it that way. I used to be the guy sitting in those seats in the back or in the shadows wanting to just get the hell out of there and get back to crawl back into my cocoon of depression or whatever. That's what I love is when I hear that someone who I didn't even know was there was impacted. I think it's a lot of us that are in the the cat had somebody say like the light seekers or whatever the people that are in kind of this area we are it's like a lot of us are in it because we had things we've realized our own weaknesses in our own darkness and the things that we've had to kind of go through and we've sort of worked on healing ourselves and through that process we know that hey. We have something we can share with somebody else. Maybe we can help you see that you don't have to be alone in this or you don't have to go through this. If you just change, you know, a little bit of perception or do something a little differently, you know, so that's. It would be a shame if I didn't it really would because you know, I've put my life back together several times over right because At my lowest points. Yeah Something spoke to me the way somebody said it It wasn't just Tony Robbins stomping up and down with lasers and fog and all that It was something somebody Said or wrote or I saw a little quick video or short on YouTube and I thought my gosh I mean I that speaks to me today. So what? And here's the thing, what can I do with it to get better today for a little bit? And I found out when I'm doing that versus focusing on being down, the next day I see something else and something else and something. And all of a sudden there's the pogo stick, the Phoenix riding the pogo stick with tail feathers scorched off, out of the fire and growing back. And every time they grow back though, they're more beautiful and colorful and strong. As long as we keep doing that and getting out of the fire, we're going to be in better place. Well, thank you so much for sharing. Somebody listening to this, I'm sure is going to want to reach out to you at some point here. So I'd love to know where would you like us to send them? You can find me on Facebook at Steve Gamlin, G-A-M-L-I-N, or can find my website at visionboardspecial.com. We'll make sure too, when we get the show note out that we'll get the website in there and then we'll get you tagged so they'll be able to find you. I always say we make sure we get our bases covered so they know how to reach out to you if they want to do. Much appreciated. Thank you so much for this. Yeah, it was great. I appreciate all your wisdom again, your authenticity and we're to be thinking about you as you go forward. I know you're going to get through this like I said earlier and keep doing your thing and inspiring and motivating and doing all your comedy work and all the good stuff. Yeah. Well, I got a beautiful blue eyed angel who's got my back. we're just going to keep on going and help as many people as we can. Awesome, awesome. All right, and of course to our audience, we appreciate you. We hope you found this episode inspiring and motivating, all the good things, informative. You know what to do, hit that subscribe, like, comment, share, so we can keep sharing all this fabulous content with you. And as I always say, in order to live the extraordinary, you must start, and every start begins with a decision. You guys take care, be safe, be kind to one another, and we will see you next time.

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