Surviving Breast Cancer: Finding Strength and Empowerment with Erica Campbell

In this episode of the Starter Girlz podcast, host Jennifer Loehding speaks with Erica Campbell, a breast cancer survivor and author of The Mastectomy I Always Wanted. Erica shares her powerful journey of navigating a breast cancer diagnosis, the impact of her mother's experience with the disease, and the lessons she’s learned along the way. Together, they discuss the importance of vulnerability, the healing power of gratitude, and the role of support systems in overcoming adversity. Erica’s story offers valuable insights on embracing challenges, advocating for yourself, and finding strength through life’s toughest moments — a true testament to the Starter Girlz spirit of courage, resilience, and empowerment.

Takeaways

• Sharing personal stories of survivorship can inspire and empower others.
• Rewriting your narrative can be a powerful path to empowerment.
• Advocating for yourself is crucial when navigating healthcare decisions.
• Connecting with a supportive community can help reduce feelings of isolation.
• Building resilience is key to overcoming life’s challenges.
• Embracing vulnerability can be a powerful gift in the healing process.
• Practicing gratitude can shift your perspective, even during difficult times.
• Finding a strong support system is essential when facing tough moments.

You can learn more about Erica by visiting https://www.ericaneubertcampbell.com/ 

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction to the Starter Girlz Podcast
• 3:03 Erica's Journey: A Survivor's Story
• 9:00 The Impact of Mastectomy Decisions
• 19:45 Becoming an Author: Challenges and Triumphs
• 21:36 The Gift of Vulnerability
• 24:03 Documenting the Journey
• 25:09 Emotional Growth and Reflection
• 27:20 Navigating Grief and Acceptance
• 30:12 Coping Strategies for Healing
• 39:40 Finding Gratitude in Darkness

Transcript

Jennifer Loehding (00:00)
Welcome to the Starter Girlz podcast, your ultimate source of inspiration and empowerment. We're here to help women succeed in every area of their lives, career, money, relationships, and health and well-being while celebrating the remarkable journeys of individuals from all walks of life who've achieved amazing things. Whether you're looking to supercharge your career, build financial independence, nurture meaningful relationships, or enhance your overall well-being.

the Starter Girlz podcast is here to guide you. Join us as we explore the journeys of those who dare to dream big and achieve greatness. I'm your host, Jennifer Loehding, and welcome to this episode.

Welcome, welcome to another episode of the Starter Girlz podcast. Wherever you are tuning in today, we are so thrilled to have you. I'm your host, Jennifer Loehding, and so excited about my guest today. So there's something incredibly powerful about hearing a story from someone who has walked the path before you. My guest today speaks the language of survivorship with deep authenticity because she's lived it. She's a writer.

a long time cancer advocate and someone who truly understands the many perspectives of a breast cancer journey. And so you guys are gonna get to hear from her in just a few minutes, but before we do that, I do need to do a quick shout out to our sponsor. This episode is brought to you by Walt Mills Productions. Need to add excitement to your YouTube videos or some expert hands for editing? Look no further. Walt Mills is the solution you've been searching for. Walt is not only your go-to guy for spicing up content,

He's the force behind a thriving film production company with numerous titles in the pipeline. Always on the lookout for raw talent, is eager to collaborate on film and internet productions. With a background deeply rooted in entertainment and promotion, Walt Mills leverages years of skills to give you the spotlight you deserve. Want to learn more about Walt and his work? Head on over to waltmillsproductions.net and let your content shine. All right, and with that.

I do want to make a quick mention to head on over to StarterGirlz.com. Hopefully you know that's a Z and not an S. And there you can pick up all the episodes that you missed. Keep up with what's going on. Sign up for our community newsletter so you can stay in the know. And also, new, you can head over there and there's a little tab on there that says success block quiz. And on there, what you can do if you are a...

Maybe you're a current entrepreneur, aspiring entrepreneur, creator, innovator, all of those things. You've got a business you are running and you want to find out what your number one success block is that is keeping you stuck. We all have them. So head on over there. There's a quiz you can take. It's like a two minute quiz. It's kind of fun and it'll tell you what that block is and you'll get some tips on how to move around that. All right, so let's move on. We got to get our guest on the show today. So Erica Neubert Campbell is a breast cancer survivor.

a dedicated advocate and the author of The Masectomy I Always Wanted. Having lost her mother to the same disease, she now shares her story with vulnerability and purpose. In her memoir, Erica combines personal experience with practical advice to support women facing mastectomies. Inspired by the kindness of a stranger who gave her hope in the midst of her diagnosis, Erica is now paying it forward, empowering thousands of women to navigate their own mastectomy journeys with courage and confidence. And so I have a feeling

This episode is gonna be awesome. It's gonna be a lot of talk about resilience and the power of trusting the process and all of the things. so Erica, welcome to the show. I'm so excited to have you here today.

Erica Campbell (03:43)
Yes, welcome to everybody and thank you so much for having me, Jennifer.

Jennifer Loehding (03:47)
Yeah, and Jennifer just had to have that little cough there. So for our audience, I don't know if you know this, but I told Erica I had the flu a couple weeks ago and this lingering little cough just does not want to disappear. It keeps like trickling into my episodes.

Erica Campbell (04:01)
Well, you sound great and I'm glad you're healthy.

Jennifer Loehding (04:03)
Thank you, Erica. Well, you too. All right, so yes, and this is what this episode is gonna be about. It's about you, your journey, what you learn. I wanna talk about your book. And so first of all, I wanna kind of open this up because a lot of people that come on this show have stories. And I feel like there are so many people in the world that have stories of survivorship. And I always like to make this little ad that I am such a sucker for a good story because...

I myself deal with two diagnosis of rare disorders that are kind of silent diseases that nobody really knows about, but they plague my life like every day and I have to live with it and navigate it. So I never like to say and dismantle how somebody feels, but I understand what it means to survive and to navigate conditions.

So going back to my point that people have stories, but there are people like you and I that like to share our stories. We want to put them out there because we believe that it matters and our voice matters and we have that. So I want to hear from you. What is this about for you? Like what brought you to this place?

Erica Campbell (05:03)
Such a great introduction because it is the stories that really define all of us. And the reason I share this story is I want to say twofold. The first is, you know, I lost my mother to breast cancer and there were a lot of ups and downs in that journey. And one particular one is actually surrounding her mastectomy and that she didn't have one at the beginning of her diagnosis.

And I think that's where the two roads kind of split. And if she'd had a mastectomy in the beginning, she might still be here today. So, you know, obviously I've done a lot of mental health therapy to work through that. But then when I was diagnosed 15 years later, it felt like the time to redeem that story, right? You talk about the stories. It was time to redeem those choices. And so,

at the same juncture that I was at with my mother 15 years later, I took the other path, right? And I did have the mastectomy and that has made all the difference. And so I really thought about, okay, part of the reason my mother didn't have that mastectomy back at the start of her journey was because she had a lot of fear naturally. She didn't have as much information and she felt so alone in that decision.

And so when it was my turn, as you said, I'll tell you later, there's a stranger that actually helped me with that decision. And then I thought, you know what? I get to pay it forward. I get to rewrite my mom's story, write a new chapter of mine, but then also help more women in the future with that decision too.

Jennifer Loehding (06:45)
Yeah, no, that's good. And I love that you talk about that, that changing of the story, because we often do, we make decisions with what we know, right? And that at the time that your mom made her decision, that was given the information and the knowledge that you have. And obviously 15 years later, I'm sure there's more information that's, that came forth. It's probably more even now, right? Right. So yeah, no, I think that's good. And I get so many, you know, it's interesting cause I was talking the other day, I don't know who I was sharing this with, but

I was telling them that, you know, a lot of people go through hard things and then sometimes some of us go through a lot of hard things. feel like, I feel, I don't know how you feel, but sometimes I feel like I keep getting dumped on with a lot of hard things. I feel like they just kind of keep, and I'm not talking just personally in my health, but I'm also talking with my children. And I feel like that these are all lessons that we have to continue to.

Pull something extract something from right and I think sometimes those of us have a voice. There's a reason we're given those. You know what I mean to handle and you know it's kind of the same. What is it? God always says he never gives you anything you can't handle kind of thing. I'm like sometimes I'm like can we just sit this one out? Right?

Erica Campbell (07:58)
It is

life. always feels like one thing after the other. And I think, you know, what you said even about your own health, we're all hiding in plain sight and meaning that we all are having struggle after struggle after struggle. And the best way that we can support each other is by sharing those stories, right? Is it bringing it to the light so that you can find someone who can then look you in the eye and say, I've been there and you are not alone. And I think there's that power in

sharing, being vulnerable, finding those people who can walk beside you, and then like I said, then paying it forward to somebody else.

Jennifer Loehding (08:32)
Yeah. And so I want to ask Erica, because like I said, I haven't been able to read your book quite yet. I love your book, by the way, because it's cute. It's like, it's just I like it because it's not like big and bulky. Yeah, it's. It's sleek and it's it's a doable right, like I like to read, but sometimes you know how you get books like I just got there reading this book that was like huge and like I'd sit down and I'd get so overwhelmed because I'm like, I got to read a bunch of about you. I love it when they're just kind of concise. And I mean, I flip through it. You've got pictures in there.

Erica Campbell (08:43)
The size of your hand. Yeah.

Jennifer Loehding (09:00)
You're really raw and authentic in that. I mean, didn't, like I said, I read everything, but I've kind of, looked through it to kind of see what you, you know, you've done in there. So I kind of want to lean into that because I would love to know why this journey for you. And I'm sure you probably, document all this in the book and this is why I need to read it. But for our listeners, what was the span of this journey for you?

Erica Campbell (09:21)
The majority of the book was probably written, well, it written over several years, but the timeframe of the journey is about a year. Okay. Right. From diagnosis to when I felt, and I'll put this in quotes, healed. And, you know, thank you for saying this about the book because this book is really supportive to women who are newly diagnosed. And you know what women who are newly diagnosed don't have is a lot of time. And so I wrote the book intentionally to be short.

to be a quick read because, I wanted to validate all of the emotions and the feelings, especially in that really challenging beginning period. But also, again, I made it small so it can fit in someone's purse, right? Like I was really intentional about this. I want you to be reading it, you know, maybe at a coffee shop or, you know, getting it at the doctor's office and putting it

Jennifer Loehding (10:14)
just

say while you're at the doctor's that you're waiting in the lobby,

Erica Campbell (10:17)
Yeah, you know, I mean, really wanted to be really intentional and compassionate to the feelings and the emotions. And you said it, the overwhelm at the start of a diagnosis. so those choices about the actual shape and size and length of the book, super intentional because I had just have I felt again, people were coming at me all the time with advice and different tools and different resources. And it felt so like I was drinking from a fire hose. So this book is intended to be short.

And it is super, super available for somebody who really just wants to know what to expect. I kind of call it like what to expect when you're expecting a mastectomy. Yeah. Yeah. And it gives you jam packed with the information you need.

Jennifer Loehding (11:04)
Yeah, I wanna go back to something you said a minute ago. I was trying to like not forget this in my head because I know how I am. My brain goes, whew, whew. You mentioned all this advice coming in and I will say this. don't, maybe you felt this same way. When you have like a diagnosis, two things I'm gonna say. One, when you have a diagnosis, it's when you get the diagnosis and what do you do with it there because you got a lot of different information coming in. But there's also like when I was going through mine, we didn't have a diagnosis so we really didn't know what to do.

I it took me it took him six months to diagnose the first one. It took over a year, five hospital visits being misdiagnosed before we got my second diagnosis in twenty two. So what I what I want to touch upon is all the information coming in because you stated that and no matter what you're faced with, we all get that that overload of information, right? Like what's the right thing to do? And I know for me, it's like, you know,

I remember just to give you kind of a story, I don't wanna hash on this forever, but I went into the ER one visit because I've had migraines like my whole life. When I got into my mid-40s, I'm in my 50s now, they changed a little bit. And instead of getting the head pain, I get a silent migraine. So I've always had the aura, meaning I get the flashing lights, all the weird stuff. I feel off, gotta lie down, all of that. But the headache went away. So oddly enough, I'd be like,

I'm getting stuff in my eyes and you think you're maybe getting a stroke or something, right? Because you're like, these are weird symptoms, but you have no head pain with it. So one particular scenario, I had gotten a black spot in my eye and you think black spot, you think stroke, right? So I'm online looking, go to the ER, I walk in, I tell them, I'm overall, I work out every day, I don't eat a lot of sugar. I mean, for most sake, I'm pretty healthy. I go in and I'm like, I got a black spot in my eye and they're like, my God, we gotta get you in. You could be having a stroke, right? So they get me in there.

They run an MRI and they find a spot on the MRI, but they think it may be just a like something on the film. So the guy says, we're going to send you home. Then he comes back in and says, no, we're not because you're saying you have these symptoms. We want to, we want to monitor you overnight. So they put the heart monitor on me. They have the speech people come in the next day to see if I, you see how I am. I'm pretty salty. So they have the speech people come in the next day to see if I'm talking. And this is how I am. I'm thinking my husband's out of town.

My pets need feeding. My son is at home. I need to get out of this ER like right now. You guys want to know if I can talk. I'm talking. Okay. So before this thing was all done, they had done a bubble test on me. They'd done an, you know, an echo cardio. They'd done all these things on me. The neurologist comes in and he says, I think you just had a weird migraine experience. We have these sometimes, you know, yours are just evolving. They send me home.

But before I left, this is where it gets crazy. Before I left, they had ran like my cholesterol and all that. And anybody listening to this, I'm not a doctor, don't take this from me. You go talk to your doctor. But I've been following, I'm keto certified. I've been following this for a long time. My cholesterol is a two to one ratio, but it's always elevated because I do low carb, meaning I eat fat and no sugar. So they see that number. Doctor calls me up, leaves me a message and says,

I'm calling in statins and baby aspirin and I'm like, no. They had me all stressed out at that whole event that just totally messed me up. And so that happened in October of 23. And then I went to work with a functional doctor in February of 24. And so my point to this is she was looking at all that and I was telling her, said, I had all this advice coming in and they were telling me,

You know, like I went back to the heart doctor to talk about this and she says, I don't care what you do. I don't like your cholesterol number. And I'm like, so you're telling me to go back and eat all this garbage so we can get that one number to the number that you like. And they had me all stressing out. And so I just learned when you go through all these kinds of things like this and you're getting all this advice, you have to start filtering out. And it's not that you want to just say dismiss doctors information or anything, but I think you have to do your research, get second opinions.

Follow with your gut on some of this and do what's best. You know?

i know that was a long story

Erica Campbell (15:35)
Well, mean, you know, similarly in some ways, you know, after my mom died of breast cancer, I was pretty sure that I was going to get breast cancer, right? Like I just had it in my head. Yeah. And over the 15 years, I advocated for myself because I said, you've told me I have dense breasts. You've told me I have calcifications, which is kind of like a precursor thing.

And I keep coming back because you keep seeing scary things on the mammograms. And I've gotten MRIs and ultrasounds, all these things. And actually I said, I know, I feel like I'm gonna get breast cancer. And they kept saying, no, no, no. So I actually at one point said, at what point are you guys gonna let me have a preventative mastectomy so I can stop this mental game and the fear and all of the misdiagnosis and all this stuff. And they were like,

You're fine, you're fine. And they sent me along on my way. So when I was, you know, finally, I say this, was finally diagnosed. I kind of had this little bit of an attitude, kind of like you said, Jennifer, I was like, I told you so. I knew this was coming for me. And so, you know, luckily I caught it really early. Luckily you were able to advocate for yourself and not suddenly eat a bunch of garbage just to, you know, get carbs in your system.

Right? mean, I really think it's about trusting yourself and the inner voice you have because nobody will know yourself as much as you do.

Jennifer Loehding (17:03)
Yeah, and I think when you have when you're an advocate like that, you're not the type of person that's just reading the first thing and going, I'm jumping on that. No, you're like I tell people, you know, when you ask anybody, I've got friends, ask anybody with a chronic disease or anybody that's dealing with some Crohn's, know, IBS, colitis, anything that's any type of biliary disorder, which is what I have. I a biliary disorder. Ask anybody that's dealing with those kinds of things. And if they are

not playing victim. What I mean, they're actively trying to do something. They're researching and they're probably looking at a lot of things. But like you said, there's a lot of information coming. And I think sometimes too, people know when you're in that space, like, I mean, there's, know, at the beginning, when I started my journey again, this, you know, I feel like I've been on forever. When I started getting the, at the beginning of this year and 24 or this past year, 24, like people be like, try this, try. I'm like, at some point I have to just stop.

just stop, I'm not doing anything else than what I'm doing right now because we've done it, we've done it, okay? And I'm just at the point now where like, know, some things you've got to accept and you've got to navigate, they're not gonna be perfect, right? Like you've got to live with what you're, and you just, figure out how to navigate where you are.

Erica Campbell (18:16)
Yeah.

Yes, and have the resilience to keep going until you get the answers that feel right in your bones.

Jennifer Loehding (18:27)
Exactly. So I admire you because I think we have different things, but I admire your one, your fight for yourself, like that persistence to stay on top of things because had you not, you might not have been here, right? You might not be here. And so sometimes us little salty fighter people, we need to be here for a reason because that's what we do advocate for ourselves. I feel for somebody.

Erica Campbell (18:34)
your

Jennifer Loehding (18:55)
who has had to go through what you have had to go through, what I've had to go through that didn't advocate for themself. I can't imagine it because I have been in so much freaking pain off and on over the last 12 years that I can't imagine not having been that person that did that because I think you just sit on pain pills. guess you just, that's what you do. You just stay on pain pills and then you have no quality of life, right? So anyways, I admire you. That's what I want to say. I admire you for-

Erica Campbell (19:20)
Right back at you, friend. Right back at you.

Jennifer Loehding (19:22)
I love these stories of survivorship because it's like when people talk about this stuff, like, I feel you. I don't know exactly what you went through, but I feel it because I know the journey.

Erica Campbell (19:34)
There's common threads in all of this.

Jennifer Loehding (19:36)
Yeah,

so you're awesome. Let's talk about your book again, because I want to kind of talk about that process, because you moved into how long has the book been out now?

Erica Campbell (19:45)
about six months.

Jennifer Loehding (19:46)
Okay,

so you're a fairly new writer. Awesome. I want to, because somebody listening to this, two things to this story, it's the survivorship. We're probably going to come back to that because I want to talk about the mindset between these in a minute. But I feel like there's two stories here. It's your survivorship through this journey of getting the mastectomy and the cancer, but also becoming a first time author and writing a book and putting something out there because I've also done a book and it's about my journey. It's not an easy thing to do, right? Like you do it and you're like, yes, I checked it off.

It is not an easy thing to do. So I would love to know like maybe some of the hurdles you went through, you know, getting this pulled together. You know, like mine, was like, I would write in my chapters and then I would start crying about it because it was like making me relive some of the junk, you know, that I'd gone through. So I'd love to know, you know, some of the, and I'm sure whatever, I don't know what yours is, but some of the challenges you went through writing yours.

Erica Campbell (20:41)
absolutely. And let me start actually somewhat at the beginning and how this all really came to be is after I was diagnosed, I'm working full time and I have a lead a nonprofit and I was in a team meeting and I said, okay, everyone just announced what had happened. I'm going to be out. I have a mastectomy next week. I'm going to be out for six weeks. And after the meeting, we had a new employee in the office.

And she pulls me aside. I barely know her, right? I barely know her at all. And she says, and she whispers, hey, I've had the same surgery five years ago. Would you like to see what my breasts look like today? My reconstructed fake breasts. And I was like, okay, I don't know you. This is work. I need to be professional. I lead this organization. Yes, I do. Yes, I do. And so we go off.

Jennifer Loehding (21:30)
Yes.

Erica Campbell (21:35)
and find a bathroom off the beaten path, lock the door. She takes off her shirt and she shows me her reconstructed, totally fake breasts. And I'll tell you, Jennifer, amazing. Her breasts looked so real. it just gave me so much hope. Like her scars, you could barely see them. I actually was like, did you really have a mastectomy? Are these really reconstructed, like completely fake? She was like, yep, totally. And I thought, holy buckets. Like number one, it's...

super vulnerable to show kind of like, you know, a new coworker this at like, I've known her like a week, but secondly, my goodness, I have hope. I can see what this is going to look like in the future. I know. And she was really honest with me, like it's going to be hard, but this is what it's going to look like in five years. Nobody had shown me that. No doctor had any of these photos. You really can't find anything safe and trustworthy on the internet.

And I was like, what a gift. What a gift this is. know, right? was like, and I had such peace going into the surgery because of what this woman had done for me. And she didn't have to. Right. And I would say, you know, so that's not when I decided to write the book, but I said, you know what? I might need these someday. So I started taking photos before, during, and after, because I thought, I did think I want to do the same thing.

Jennifer Loehding (22:39)
Give it to

Erica Campbell (23:04)
for somebody else in the future. And sure enough, a year or two after my surgeries and I was healed and everything looked great, I would get phone calls from friends or friends of friends saying, my neighbor just got diagnosed, can you talk to her? Or my sister just got diagnosed and she's facing what's stuck in me. So literally, Jennifer, I find myself texting these photos to like random women and strangers who literally say, this is life changing, thank you so much. And so after about two years, I was like,

and probably about 10 women of like just random strangers I was supporting. I was like, I think it's time to make this into a book. And to your point, I sat down and I was like, where do I start? It's been two years. I went back to my journal and I read what I had been writing to myself during that time. oh, having to relive that was really fascinating. And I thought, that's not the way I feel today. It certainly is the way I felt then.

Right. But let me validate that feeling for women. So I literally, the first half of my book is almost straight out of my journal. I mean, you it's been edited, but, and that's the part that women I talked to today find the most validating and fascinating. They love the pictures because they can see what it's going to look like and they can see the journey. I mean, literally from flat chested to where I am today.

Which by the way, I love my fake breasts and they look super real and I wear a bathing suit and nobody knows and I love them But it's that validation of the feelings and the emotions Like I actually ended up writing them in poetry form, which I didn't think I'm not a poet But that's how broken I was at the time and it turned into that kind of language. So I you know, that's why I wrote this book. That's where it's all come from and I'm so glad because I'm getting incredible feedback from newly diagnosed women who said

I feel like I'm not alone. I understand where I'm going. I see the future. I know this is gonna stink and I'm gonna get through it. Yeah.

Jennifer Loehding (25:09)
And did you feel, so talking about that, you, did that bring back that flood of emotion for you? was it, cause for me, was like really real. Like I would, I felt it for a long time. Now I can talk about it and it doesn't have the same emotion on me now.

As it did when I did that, you know what I mean? Like now I can be like, I take out my book and I forget now. I honestly I'm like, I need to probably go back and read because my whole book, mine is a little bit different because it's only the first chapter is about the hard journey. The next six are what I learned in the process. So it's really positive from then on because I didn't want to focus on that. Right. But I forget, like I forget what it was like because it was so raw back then. And now I'm removed. You know, the book's been out since 2019. So now we're what? Like.

five years down now and I'm like, I almost need to go back and just reread that section again, not because I want to like sit in it, but because I'm looking at it so very differently now than I did when I was there. And even if, you know, a little bit removed from it, but now being five years out from even the time I wrote it, it's just a very different process now. Now I know why that happened. You know, like now I can pick the things out of that that needed the lessons that needed to come from that and.

and look at like, I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing today had that not.

Erica Campbell (26:24)
Yeah. And I think that's an incredible demonstration of growth, right? Those feelings and emotions that you wrote about, you may not feel them today, but that's where you can like see how you've grown over time and how the experience has, you know, positively, I'll put that in quotes, because it's not a positive experience, but it's changed you. You're stronger, you're more resilient, you're probably more emotionally healthy, right? And like you've made powerful choices about yourself. You know, I mean, all of those things. And I think...

That to me, I agree. I read now this book again and I'm like, wow. I went from, I was so dark. I was so sad. I was so angry. was like all of the, know, the five stages of grief almost. That was in denial, all the things. I was mad at the world. I was mad at God. was mad at people. And now today the peace I experienced, right? And so showing the work that, you know, the mental work, the mental journey, the mindset shifts over time.

find that to be really empowering and that's what I wish for others.

Jennifer Loehding (27:22)
Yeah, we could talk about that a little bit because I think that's so good because I think those stages of grief really have varying degrees and they're in all facets of our life, right? Like we can experience them in business, relationships, health, they really show up. Like give you good example, you know, for me, and then we'll talk about your story again. I want to talk about, you know, you going through this, but when I was sick a couple weeks ago with the flu, my son was in town and

I didn't realize this while he had left and he came back and I didn't realize this that I was kind of going through a little bit of depression. And I think part of it was, don't get, I'm not a depressed person. first I want to state that I'm very typically, I don't, it's probably been years since I've even been like that, but I found myself in a really crazy funk for about a week, a week, which, I made myself get out because I'm like, we ain't staying here.

but I could not put my finger on. And I think part of it was that I'd been sick and I'd been confined for a few days, but I realized something else after my son had left again. This was the first time in our house that we are completely kidless. Everybody's out of the house at one time. And I didn't realize that in the moment until after, and which is so weird because I think empty nesting is such a weird thing. Like all of a sudden we're bored. I'm like.

so much stuff to do but I'm bored. We went out with my daughters on Saturday to a bar in my up in Denton where it's like Denton Texas which is kind of a college town. We and they had a drag show going on outside and not that we went there for the drag show we went there to we actually went to a different place and it was an hour and a half wait so we went somewhere else we found another little place up the road and we ate there but it was like a little speakeasy bar. So my point to this is we're doing crazy things because I'm mom's bored right?

But that was, I realized after that that was kind of sort of what I was going through was this processing and I hadn't quite put my finger on what it was. And I still, I'm still missing my kid. My girls have been out for a while now, some kind of used to, but my son's out and I'm still missing my son because he ain't here singing and making noise at me, you know, like all the time and doing all those things. So those stages that we go through, I want to talk about that a little bit because I feel like

This is a real thing. I mean, it really is. And what were some strategies maybe that kind of helped you work through that? Because I'm sure you were going through that cycle like continually, like one day you're up here and it's like, I've got this, I'm pumped. Then I'm back in that grief stage. I'm in the disbelief stage. Now I'm processing and accepting. Now I'm angry. You know, there's all these patterns. So were there anything that you felt like, you know, I know you were journaling, but anything else specifically that you felt like kind of helped you work through that?

Erica Campbell (30:12)
Yeah, mean, I also you're absolutely right. There's those five stages of grief and everyone thinks they're a circle, but they're actually not really linear linear.

Jennifer Loehding (30:20)
Right coaster right there like this. Yeah, probably today probably right?

Erica Campbell (30:26)
A hundred percent. that one, that's actually what took me off guard. would say is that it's not like they're step by step. They are, they are, you know, like a pinball too. Yeah. I mean, I will say, honestly, somebody did tell me to journal and I first, Jennifer, I rolled my eyes like, are you kidding me? I am facing breast cancer and my mom's, you know, sort of memories of that. And you think that journaling is going to help me. darn it. They were right. I mean,

And that's, so that was a tool that took me by surprise. I agreed to do it. And, you know, again, looking back now there, the anger phase, like I took my pen and I was like bleeding through the page, pushing it so hard. was so mad. And then there was times I was sad and all the things, you know, surprisingly also there's something about music that also was really supportive to me. You know how like sometimes you can just find a song that you're like, that's what I'm feeling right now.

And again, whether that's joy, whether that's sadness, denial, anger, there's a song for everything, right? And so I did find, know, Taylor Swift can tell you that, but that actually surprisingly helped me too. Like these were things that you think are somewhat obvious, but surprised me. And then also, I mean, really talking with other people. And again, you know, I tell you the experience of that woman in the bathroom.

not only did we have that experience, but then I started to talk to her after that, right? I found my people. I found the person I could trust, that I could ask anything, right? You know, all those questions that you like are embarrassed to ask or you don't think are appropriate, you know, I could ask her those things. And so finding somebody that you trust was incredibly important. And again, I didn't realize it at the time, you know, I could talk to my husband about these things.

but it's not the same, he's not a woman, right? And he's not facing removal of a pretty important part of my femininity, right? So there were, these are the strategies that I particularly used. I think they're universal for any health journey, which is journaling music, finding someone you can trust, talking it through. And later on, to be totally honest, I actually went into a mental health professional because I really just struggled with.

so many like mind games about fear of relapse or like, is this going to go on forever? Am I going to feel this way forever? Resentments, all those things. And I, I was resistant to therapy as well for a long time. I just went for about, I don't know, four months. Amazing. Best thing I ever did. I really highly recommend it. So many stigmas around that. And I think we get to talk about it and remove those stigmas.

Jennifer Loehding (33:19)
Yeah, these are all good points. And I want to say something to your part where you were saying why you went to the therapist about that. Those questions you were having about is it going to come back? I again, I'm not going to say how you feel, but those are similar things that I have had to deal that I feel like I've had to like when I'm in when I'm in a really bad, I've been in some really bad flares and I don't like there was a period of time in 23 from January until May.

before I got any relief. And I remember every time being in these major times where I would have those questions, am I gonna, is this gonna be like this forever? Am I ever gonna get out of this? And you start losing hope because, which is a vicious cycle because when you start thinking that way, you stay that way, right? It's this vicious cycle that you stay in of having to keep the hope up that you're going to move forward, but you're not seeing the progress, right? And you're still stuck in that.

I love all these techniques that you talked about, even going to the therapist. And I am a pro advocate for if you need to talk to somebody, talk to somebody because even with my kids, I've told them, don't talk to me, go find something. I don't care, get healthy, whatever you need, if you need it, anybody. So yes, I do agree with you that we need to remove the stigma to that. But I also wanted to say your journaling and your music thing, I think that's all great. Even dancing, I think all of that. And I agree with you on the journaling because

I remember when I was in a really dark place, I started gratitude journaling and I was like the same way you were. was like, my God, seriously? Like I'm going to do this. This is so stupid. Right. And I, and I was so defiant. Yeah. Yeah. Right. And I've told this in previous episodes, I would write on my journal, stupid things like I'm excited for plates. I'm excited for forks. I'm excited for towels and toilet paper. It's like, you know, stupid things. Like, because I knew that I was like, this is dumb. This is dumb. This is dumb.

But I will tell you, I talk about that in my book. That became one of the most important things that I did because here's the thing, I was not always positive person. I didn't grow up like that. I didn't have that in my home. And so I didn't really know how to do that, but I also knew that I didn't want my kids to be that way. And I had been in Mary Kay for like 17 years hearing this stuff before I even...

was ready to receive it. Do you know what I mean? Like ready to receive stuff. so that ended up being like one of the biggest things that really changed my life. And I will tell you, it's interesting now because, you know, even despite things going on around me and my, in my health or whatever's happening, most of the time I wake up and I can find good in the day. You know what I mean? Like I can find good in my, in my space and what I'm doing and

That's what I think is a beautiful thing is when you get to that place where you can learn to find beauty in the darkness, you know what I mean? Fine, even when you're going through that, try to find something to take away from that.

Erica Campbell (36:27)
100%. And, in fact, I again started off my journey just like you saying, you know, this is stupid, rolling my eyes to this day. Now, I actually journal every night for five minutes and I have a framework, five things I'm grateful for. So just like that, five things I felt during the day, five things I learned three things about tomorrow, something that made me smile and something that inspired me during the day. takes like five minutes.

Jennifer Loehding (36:55)
you

should make a worksheet for that. That would be a really good thing for women. It really anybody that is on any capacity, but really for what you're talking about, that would be a good, really good resource because you know what? A lot of people really don't know how to do that gratitude. Right? Like really how to do that. Hopefully you're like, am now we're passing, you know, like toll paper and paper towels and all of that stuff. Now I can be like,

I had this awesome conversation with Erica today. She's amazing. That's a highlight of my day. I got to hang out with the animals today. Highlight of my day. See what I'm saying? We move up. You just got to get really good at practicing that. And I think that's one of the big lessons here is really learning these strategies for really coping with anything in life. It's not just about yours. It's really about anytime you're going through something hard, finding strategies to help you move past that circumstance.

Erica Campbell (37:53)
Yeah, and you know what, Jennifer, such great news. I actually do have that template on my website.

Jennifer Loehding (37:58)
I'm gonna say you better have that out because I want I'm gonna go to your website and get it cuz I want that cuz I do that I like that you have all those prompts cuz I've always been like one of our five things to be grateful but I like it cuz you extend it to what made you happy all of these other things to really Make you think you know

Erica Campbell (38:16)
yeah, and now I cannot go to bed unless I do that template. It literally takes five minutes. Sometimes if I'm like at a hotel and I've forgotten my journal, I'll like write on the back of a napkin or like the little free paper. Like it helps you process. It helps me sleep. Yeah. And it's five minutes. So yes, it's free on my website. I'll send you the link.

Jennifer Loehding (38:34)
Yeah, I'm gonna go check it out. I want it. So yeah, because I think it's great. I think sometimes it's, you know, it's like anything we do. It's like, even when, know, like I just finished up a program and it's not so much the, the, the actual like video that you watch that does all the work, the work lies in the worksheets that go with it because what they do is they force you to actually sit down, be conscientious of what you're doing in your business, the blocks that are, that how they're showing up in patterns, making you pay attention because

So often we don't take the time to do these things and we don't, remember when we were in school and we had to take notes? And there was a reason we were taking notes, right? They wanted us to try to retain the stuff. There's something powerful that happens when we actually, and I don't care if you actually sit down, physically take it, but when you sit down and you actively engage and be mindful of something that you're doing, you're going to retain more than if you don't. And so- Yes.

I think there's something powerful in that is that you're sitting down and actually thinking about what made me happy today. What am I grateful for today? What did I learn today? Right? Because if you never do that, you're not stretching that muscle.

Erica Campbell (39:40)
Yeah, and it is, consistently over time will change your life. Exactly. 100 % guaranteed.

Jennifer Loehding (39:45)
Exactly, because you'll end up going, happened today? What made me sponsor it? What funded it? Who did I meet? That's what

Erica Campbell (39:50)
today. Yeah,

right. Yeah, exactly. You will be in my gratitude journal, my five things I'm grateful for today, Jennifer.

Jennifer Loehding (39:58)
I'm glad and likewise my friend is so awesome. Erica, you are amazing and I know our audience is going to be listening to this. They're to be like, you know, like I said, there's so many takeaways in this. I'm going to love it when we put this in and we get like all the little key takeaways. Like what are the big things we talked about today? Like, you know, resilience and mindset and seeking help and gratitude journals and techniques and, you know, finding a support system and.

And yeah, so much here shared different, very different stories, but I think commonalities in how we process all these things. I think, I had a mentor once that said, what you think most is personal is universal, right? We always think that we're isolated in our own stuff, but there are plenty of other people that are walking journeys with us. They're not entirely the same, but they are processing some similar things.

and probably going through some similar types of emotions and that cycle I think is a universal thing. It's just how we all go through it, this point, this point, that point, how long we stay here, it's all different.

Erica Campbell (41:02)
Yeah. I mean, the one thing I always say is you are not alone, honestly. Like no matter what your situation, no matter how unique you think it is, you are not alone. And I think that's really empowering. And I find assurance in that.

Jennifer Loehding (41:15)
Yeah, absolutely. All right, well, Erica, if our audience wants to get this worksheet that we just talked about, this gratitude sheet or your book, where do we want to send them?

Erica Campbell (41:24)
Yes, send them to my website, which is my full name. So www.ericaneubertcambell.com. You click on resources. I actually also have an inspirational playlist, Jennifer, because again, I do believe in the power of music. I'm always looking for new suggestions if any of your listeners have ideas for songs that can add to it. And there's a journal template. I even put a picture of like my actual journal, which is kind of vulnerable too, but you get to see what I write every day and how simple and short it is.

And also you can learn about my book there, ericandnewbertcambell.com.

Jennifer Loehding (41:57)
forgot to mention authenticity. That's our other lesson in this message too. It's about vulnerability and authenticity, right? Being raw and real and putting it out there because that's what people want. They want to see, they want to know what you went through because somebody else is going through it they want to know what that journey is like.

Erica Campbell (42:13)
Absolutely. And if you know someone newly diagnosed, again, the book has a lot of photos. Let's talk about vulnerability there. I am a professional person, but I just felt so called to share those photos because they're not available. Usually doctors and physicians don't often have them. I really want to make sure that people have all the information they need to make a good decision.

Jennifer Loehding (42:36)
And the gal that was at your office, mean, how wonderful that she came into your life, you know, at the moment. I mean, it's almost like divine intervention. Like a week she shows up, you get diagnosed and y'all, you know, connect. think it's just, I mean, not cool circumstances, but it needed to happen so that you could make the decision you needed to make.

Erica Campbell (42:59)
I think the universe was like, I'm going to make this happen. so I felt the calling to support and do the same for others.

Jennifer Loehding (43:06)
I love it. We'll make sure when this goes out, we'll get your link in there so they get the spelling and everything correct and they know how to find you. I usually put something in the show notes so they can click, they can go through there and click it. So Erica, you are amazing. Like I said, remarkable woman. I admire you and you're strong. And I think that these things just, they make us stronger people, right? Like they give us the voice and the courage to do bigger things and not be afraid. like, once you go through something like that, you're like everything else, piece of cake, right?

Erica Campbell (43:34)
Yeah, there's very little that scares me these days.

Jennifer Loehding (43:37)
That's good. That's awesome. Well, you're awesome. And I want to thank you for coming on here, sharing with us, being authentic, being real vulnerable, all of the things. you know, for hopefully our audience will find this inspiring. Go get your book, check out your website, get that gratitude journal, all the things.

Erica Campbell (43:53)
please. I actually, the gratitude journal is completely universal. I hope everybody uses it. So yes.

Jennifer Loehding (43:58)
Yeah, they're good. Awesome. I'm gonna check it out for sure. All right. And so of course, to our audience, if you found this episode inspiring, informative, which we hope that you did, you know what to do. Do all those things, you share, subscribe, like, hit the buttons, all the things, comment, leave us a message so that we can keep sharing all this fabulous content with you. And as I always say, in order to live the extraordinary, you must start, and every start begins with a decision. You guys take care, be safe, be kind to one another, and we will see you next time.