Starter Girlz Podcast
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Starter Girlz Podcast
The Godmother of Modern Dating Creates 33,000 Love Stories (with Andrea McGinty, Founder of It’s Just Lunch & 33,000 Dates)
In this episode of Starter Girlz, Andrea McGinty—known as the Godmother of Modern Dating—shares how she turned personal heartbreak into a global matchmaking empire. As the founder of It’s Just Lunch and 33,000 Dates, Andrea has facilitated over 33,000 dates and helped more than 10,000 people find lasting love.
This conversation is a deep dive into the evolving world of dating, especially for those navigating love in the second act of life. Whether you’re returning to the dating scene, feeling stuck with apps, or looking to build real connection, Andrea brings decades of wisdom, straight talk, and proven strategies.
What You’ll Learn:
✅ What makes a modern dating profile stand out
✅ Why dating apps often fail—and how to choose the right one
✅ How to avoid the biggest mistakes in online dating
✅ The role of confidence, chemistry, and communication
✅ Why “practice dates” are a secret to success
✅ How to approach dating after 40, 50, or after loss
Andrea’s insights are grounded in real-life results and thousands of successful love stories. This episode is both inspiring and practical—perfect for anyone serious about finding meaningful relationships.
🔗 Learn more about Andrea:
www.33000dates.com
🎧 Love this episode?
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I can read and read in like 20 seconds. If somebody used AI, you know they used, they use GROK or they use CLOD or whatever they use to write their profile, because they use these some weird words that we don't use. Yeah, they use some weird words that we don't use in everyday conversation or they toss their photos, you know, into chat GPT. Here's my photos and I'm like you look like a cartoon.
Jennifer Loehding:No, we're not using those.
Andrea McGinty:So don't do that stuff.
Jennifer Loehding:Welcome to the starter girls podcast, your ultimate source of inspiration and empowerment. We're here to help women succeed in every area of their lives career, money, relationships, and health and well-being While celebrating the remarkable journeys of individuals from all walks of life who've achieved amazing things. Whether you're looking to supercharge your career, build financial independence, nurture meaningful relationships or enhance your overall well-being, the Starter Girlz podcast is here to guide you. Join us as we explore the journeys of those who dare to dream big and achieve greatness. I'm your host, jennifer Loading, and welcome to this episode. Welcome to another episode of the Starter Girlz Podcast. I am your host, jennifer Loehding, and wherever you are tuning in today, we are so thrilled to have you. And so here we are. Another episode, another day, so excited about my guest today, so I'm going to ask you this what do you do when life doesn't go as planned? Like, perhaps, getting left at the altar or maybe navigating love after 50. For my guest today, it meant turning heartbreak into a global matchmaking empire and becoming what she says she's often referred to as the godmother of modern dating, and so this is going to be so much fun. I am so excited we get to talk about something a little different today. But before I bring her on, I do need to do a quick shout out to our sponsor.
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Jennifer Loehding:And with that we do want to make a mention to head on over to startergirlscom and you hear me say this every single week. And why do we want to do that? Because one if you have missed any of our amazing episodes, you can catch up on all of them, even the old, cheesy ones. From the beginning. They're there. If you want to be in the know, maybe sign up for our community newsletter to find out what's going on who's coming up all of that good stuff. You can do that there as well, and also, if you are an aspiring entrepreneur or maybe you are in a position of leadership and you want to know what your number one success block is that may be impacting your success, we have a fun two-minute quiz over there that you can take, and it'll give you some direction as to what might be hindering that success you're trying to achieve right now. So, again, head on over to startergirlz. com and do what you need to do over there. Take care of business.
Jennifer Loehding:All right, let's get our guest on today. So today, on Starter Girlz, we are sitting down with Andrea McGinty, founder of it's Just Lunch and the powerhouse behind 33,000 Dates. Known as the godmother of modern dating, andrea transformed her own personal setbacks into a legacy that's helped thousands find love, especially in the second act of life. From matchmaking over 33,000 couples to mentoring today's top dating experts, andrea's nonsense approach and trailblazing strategies continue to shape the modern dating world. So get ready I'm so excited for a candid and inspiring conversation with the woman who has truly redefined how we find connection. So, andrea, welcome to Starter Girlz. I am so excited to have you here today.
Andrea McGinty:Thanks, I'm excited to be here too, and that was quite an intro. Thank you, isn't that?
Jennifer Loehding:fun. I know every time I do, though. So just to give you, I say this almost I feel like I just say this, like every time I do this but I spent 22 years in Mary Kay and a good portion of that I was in leadership, and so we got very familiar with doing accolades, getting them for our stuff, but also reading them. And you know, I have found something so fun and powerful about when we hear stuff like that. It's so fun because I think sometimes we forget all the cool things that we do, right, and then when somebody kind of says it, it's like, oh my gosh, did I do all that? You know, it's kind of a fun thing and I enjoy putting them together.
Jennifer Loehding:So I'm glad you liked it All right. So I am excited to chat with you. I really like this idea of you know, this authenticity, and I just I can already feel your energy. So I think we're going to have a fun time here, because I really love it when people are just kind of call it like it is, you know. And so what I want to do, I want to open this up and talk a little bit about who Andrea is like, what you're doing right now, what is this all about? This dating and these 33,000 dates, all of this stuff?
Andrea McGinty:Well, the name of my company is 33,000 dates. The name of my prior company from the nineties was it's just lunch and over the course of then till now I've set up over 33,000 people, so hence I named. So you know, really I've set up probably 38,000, but I can't yeah probably more than I do.
Andrea McGinty:It won't work. So, yeah, that's how I came up with the name and I've had over 10,000 marriages and it all started, you know, in the 90s and you have to remember the 90s. Well, first of all, I should say I'm a business person and accounting finance blah, blah, blah. But what happened to me was I got basically dumped at the altar two days before my wedding, which launched me into coming up with this idea. For, for it's just lunch, but you have to remember back then, like all you guys out there who are using, you know, online apps and sites and services and matchmakers, whatever you're doing, there was none of that.
Jennifer Loehding:Right yeah.
Andrea McGinty:Nineties there was no Google. I mean, when I tell my kids they're like no Google, like what did you do all day? Yeah, they're like, how did you get around? Yeah, how did you get around? There's no Google, there were no dating apps, there was like nothing, right. So all of a sudden, I was living in Chicago at the time.
Andrea McGinty:So after my friends, you know, after I came out of the whole probably a month long, you know pity party for myself and, you know, got myself out of the trenches, you know friends would fix me up on dates and I'd go on dates and I'd be like, because, you know, their pool of people is one person. And so one day this executive recruiter called me and you know again, I'm like 23, 24. And she was calling me about, you know, some career opportunities and I'm like, geez, I wish she was calling me about three men that she had for me instead of three times men that she had for me instead of three times, thinking that the whole time. And then I'm thinking, wait, this is a great idea. I don't even remember what she said to me after that because I started jotting down, you know, a business plan. I thought, wow, wouldn't it be great if there was a service that acted like an executive recruiter, that chose people for you, that chose people for you and then told you where. You went out for lunch or you went out for a drink after work, hence the name. It's just lunch and you knew a lot about them before you went out, but you didn't know their last name. You didn't have their photo, because even then, if you had their photo or their last name, there was nothing to Google. Good luck with that.
Andrea McGinty:And it took off like crazy. So first location was Chicago, then New York and Dallas one of my favorite markets favorite markets and fast forward 15 years. We have 110 locations worldwide. And again, now it's big, it's really big. And, of course, in the interim, what's happened?
Andrea McGinty:Online dating started. Google started, everything is shifting, but online dating is still a mess, it's an infancy, it's chaotic, it's crazy and there's still a lot of scams going on and people asking for money, which happens very rarely now. I mean, people like to talk about that, but it really doesn't happen on the top-notch apps or sites anymore. So, within the course of a week, I got two offers for the company One was from Dallas-based Matchcom and one was from a private equity group and I thought to myself this is a good time to sell. I see the writing on the wall it's just lunch office maybe had a pool of 500, 700 people to choose from.
Andrea McGinty:If I was working on the internet, if I was working on sites, you know kind of the world's my oyster, I've got tons of people to pick from. So I sold, I sold at the private equity firm, and then I took two years off and just like kind of traveled all over the world with my kids and dragged them around to hey, we're going to live in Morocco for a while. Hey, we're going to live in Thailand for a while. And then I'm like, hey, I'm not a stay-at-home mom, I've got to direct my energy. So what happened to me was what really got me into 33,000 dates was my brother.
Andrea McGinty:So, I've got Irish Catholic family, a ton of siblings I'm the oldest, six younger brothers and sisters my brother at that point he's a CFO, he's good looking, he had just gotten divorced and he's online and he's like I'm meeting the most awful, awful women. They're not attractive, you know, they're this, they're that. And uh, the next thing, I know, you know I'm like Jim, give me, give me your uh credentials so I can log in. And you know, take a look. And I'm thinking to myself here's this intelligent guy and the photos he posted. Hey, guys out there, if you're posting these kind of pictures, we don't like them.
Jennifer Loehding:Stop it.
Andrea McGinty:Stop it. Post good pictures. No, like no shirt pictures, while you're yeah, none of that. Yeah, none of that. We don't want to see your car. We don't want to see a photo of you taken in your mirror If you think that's artistic. We don't want to see your car. We don't want to see a photo of you taken in your mirror If you think that's artistic, we don't. Or with a big fish, I'm like what the heck? So anyway, I rewrite his profile, I fix his pictures and a couple of weeks later he called me and goes hey, andrea, getting good dates now and I'm like say thank you to your older sister. And that's how it started. And it started just referral. Because here we are now. You know, in the 2010s, online dating somewhat knows what it's doing and there's some top notch companies out there. But then what I start finding is people are either fearful of it or they don't know what to do.
Andrea McGinty:They don't know how to navigate it. So here I come with 33,000 dates.
Jennifer Loehding:I love it. Oh my gosh, I have so much to say about this. There's so much, it's so awesome. I like, wow, like what a story. Okay, talk about those dating apps.
Jennifer Loehding:I remember being in the 90eties cause I was in my twenties and I remember those phone things. You would dial a number and you could leave a voicemail yeah, somebody would call you, but you couldn't see the person. So you basically, if you went on a date, it was a complete blind date because you had not seen this person before. And you like, can you imagine now today, Like it's's so weird, how things were back then? Right, there was no, none of this dating stuff. And I've seen these apps. Now I can't imagine, like I'm not in that position, but I can't imagine I have kids and my youngest will go through them things and like they're like swipe, and he'll come in and be strong, like nope, that's a nope, nope, girl, nope. I cannot even imagine having to go through that.
Jennifer Loehding:So I love this story. I think it is so good and it's crazy because I had another guy on my show a while back that was a dating coach more of a dating coach for women and he kind of went through this whole story. We went through this divorce and then his son passed away and he was just giving advice out but then started realizing that women were kind of reaching out to him to find out, like, how to date men, and so now that's kind of what he does and he's got this huge following and it's in a different kind of way, but he does YouTube videos and he talks about you know, how to help, like how to understand men, basically, you know, in this coaching space. So I think this is great and I think to your point about how the scared these dating apps are.
Jennifer Loehding:I did have a lady on my show that was a top, I think. She worked for the government and she actually had gone through, I believe, one of those and started dating a supposed guy and ended up getting extorted for a lot of money. She's been on several TV shows it is this post gone way past now but she actually now helps people, talks on how to recognize that kind of stuff, that scamming and stuff. So I love what you're doing, I think it's awesome, I love the story, I think it's great and what a just a way to take your thing and find a need and how to like capitalize on that right, right, really, how to just build on that and grow an empire from it. So kudos to you.
Andrea McGinty:Thank you. You know, I always think I have a really fun job because I meet people from all walks of life. It's not like I'm an attorney and I'm working with other attorneys all day. I'm a banker, I'm you know, I'm wall street Right. It's really, really interesting to hear people's stories, and especially now. You know, when I was doing it's Just Lunch, I was working mostly with 20s and 30s.
Andrea McGinty:Now I'm working with my age group you know like the 40s and 50s primarily, and that's what my book is geared toward too. But now those people, they didn't grow up in the tech world like our kids have you know, no problem.
Andrea McGinty:You know that privacy. I gave that up years ago, mom. You know who cares about that. So so I get people a couple of things. They're they're coming out of divorces and self-confidence. They might have self-confidence in their career and everything else they do, but with dating they're like, oh my God, how do I, how do I, how do I even do this? And then they've heard horror stories. Or they talk to single friends that tell them stories you know of. You know those friends are single for a reason. By the way, you guys they're doing something wrong out there. Or you guys they're they're doing something wrong out there, or you know they're just afraid to put their picture up there.
Jennifer Loehding:You know they're like.
Andrea McGinty:Hey, you know um, I'm the chief marketing officer. What if other people in my company see me? I'm like, well, they're on there too.
Andrea McGinty:You know so there's three ones on there. So and then? And then they don't know what to do with it. You know once, okay, so once they get over it, oh, wait back up, Andrea, how do you pick the right site, because there's 1400 platforms out there? I just recently took on a new client last week and when I asked her I do a 15 minute screening call before I take a client, just to make sure I can help and and I asked her what are you doing? And she goes oh, I'm on this app. It's awful, it's called coffee meets bagel. And I'm thinking to myself why did she pick that app?
Jennifer Loehding:And so.
Andrea McGinty:I asked her the question and she goes oh, my best friend's in New York and she's using it and that's how she met her boyfriend. I'm like, oh, ok, now it makes sense, because coffee meets bagel is really, really strong in New York, la, miami. That's what I'd be thinking. Yeah, that's it. So you picked the wrong platform. You're on there for a week and you quit and you're like this is awful.
Andrea McGinty:You know you used to big blow to your ego you know going on something like that where there's nobody out there, and then once they do go on, you know it's, they need help, they need help. I mean, it's just like you don't go out on a pickleball court without first taking a clinic.
Andrea McGinty:You don't go play golf without you know, having a couple of instructions from a couple of lessons from a pro, and it's kind of like they just go into this like jungle and they don't know what they're doing and so, ok, let's pretend they pick the right app. Ok, that's like one out of fourteen hundred chance. Ok, let's pretend they picked the right app. Okay, that's like one out of 1400 chance. Okay, let's pretend they did. Then you should read these profiles. Okay, profiles, okay.
Andrea McGinty:So here's what happened to women. Women tend to write like little novels and men could care less. Men, you guys. You guys tend to write hardly anything. We know like pretty much nothing about you.
Andrea McGinty:So the what you need to do is the in-between thing, you know, maybe two paragraphs, three paragraphs with bullet points. If you're on a bumble or a hinge or something like that, thank God, they limit you to you know, 250 or 300 characters. The next thing is photos. Photos are the make or break it. It's a visual medium and men look at photos. Women look at photos just as much as men. So we go, everybody goes, first for the photos. We look at the photos of this person, do we find them attractive? And all you see at first, of course, is a little thumbnail and you open it up and you see some more photos, and so you've got to have good photos.
Andrea McGinty:So when people come to me and are working with me, I have them send their photos over and I would say 80%. I refer out to a service that all they do is take professional shots of people for dating sites. That's all this company is about and it's brilliant because it's not like, they're not like LinkedIn photos, they're, you know, like really corporate and they're not like oh, a swirly wall behind you, like you're in a studio. I mean, they're going to come out for a couple hours and it's not expensive, it's a couple hundred bucks and you're going to get a lot of photos. So we get a photo of you, you know, with a golf club or skis, or you know what you're interested in. You know in a canoe, whatever your thing is, reading, your dogs, your whatever. And now we've got, you know, good lighting, good, and I'm not saying like, edit your photos. Then the other thing going on right now is the whole advent of AI, which personally I like, but you have to use it the right way, and I can read in like 20 seconds if somebody used AI. You know they used Grok or they used Claude or whatever they used to write their profile.
Andrea McGinty:Because they use some weird words that we don't use. Yeah, they use some weird words that we don't know. Yeah, they use some weird words that we don't use in everyday conversation, yeah. Or they toss their photos, you know, into chat, gpt, and you want your photos come back, like this one woman. She's really pretty, I don't even know what she put in there One of my clients and she sent it back to me.
Jennifer Loehding:Here's my photos and I'm like and she sent it back to me.
Andrea McGinty:Here's my photos, and I'm like you, look like a cartoon no, yeah, we're not using those, you know, so don't do that stuff. You know if you're. If you're going to use ai for your profile, okay, write your profile first and then look at ai as if it's an editor, a friend you know in real life. Put it in and you'll get a couple of lines back that might improve some of your stuff and then you can use that. Yeah, but don't write the whole thing, yeah.
Jennifer Loehding:Shall I go on with problems, I can do that in a minute, but I want to add to what you're saying, because I think what you just said even though it's different than, like, our LinkedIn profiles and all of those, are important points. You know what I mean Having good photos, not using AI to write everything, using it as an editor, I mean, I think it just comes down to the like, the professionalism of it. Right, because the other guy that I just mentioned to you, the other dating coach guy we talked about this same thing about pictures and stuff he said talked about having good pictures because people do, they put it and they do it in business platforms too. They do that stuff and then they wonder why they're not looking professional or whatnot. You know you want to be authentic, you want it to be you right, like you want. You don't want to be like wearing something that you would probably not be normally seen doing, or or you know, or like I'm probably not going to show up at the golf course because I don't play golf, but you might see me walking a dog and I might do a pit, you know, like that might be something normal, you know. So I agree with all of that.
Jennifer Loehding:I just want to point that out because I think it's so important and it's so funny that we're talking about this, because I always talk about like networking, because I'm a connector in a like. I feel like you and I have some parallels, cause I've had people tell me like you could have been a good like dating coach, because I connect in business and that's what I do is I find people and I'm like I have no idea. Sometimes when I meet somebody, I'll be like I have no idea exactly why I need to connect the person. Like sometimes I'll just meet somebody and I'll be like I need to introduce you to somebody because there's something there. I don't know if that's going to be a business relationship in the sense that you actually do something or y'all synergize and they introduce you to somebody, but I need to connect those people together. So I think there there's something you know really powerful about the ability to do that and, um, I think it's a gift, I think I think it's a cool thing to be able to do that.
Andrea McGinty:I'm here too. I feel like I've been doing this forever, even with an accounting and finance background. I introduced one of my high school friends they're still married Two of my college suite mates they're still married to who I introduced them to. So I just have this thing. It actually drives my kids crazy because we'll be out and maybe we're at the movies and I'll be like those two just don't go together. I do the same thing. I'm like they know, and you know, my youngest daughter should be like mom, you're embarrassing, we're going to go sit somewhere else.
Jennifer Loehding:Yeah, I did the same thing. I will meet somebody sometimes that I'm like they. Just that doesn't I. I, I had a good friend no kidding, I had this this guy friend that my husband and I met out. We were out together one night and we met this guy friend and he was from New York. I, I, I got along with him very well because he was dry until the point and I'm kind of that way. So it worked well and we became friends. And then we decided that we were going to have like a dual date where we wanted to meet his wife and the wife shows up and we and I want to say they're great people. We became good friends with both of them, but the wife showed up and their personalities were completely different, which that's okay and a lot of times that works out. But it was they. They're not together anymore.
Jennifer Loehding:I, the first time I met them, the very first time I met them, I was like I was like taken back Cause. I was like I don't get this, this I don't under, I don't understand. It wasn't even necessarily about looks. I don't know what exactly all it was, but they ended up getting divorced and I and I was not surprised when it happened at all. But it was the craziest thing, cause I remember that telling my husband I'm like I don't know how they got to, I'm confused, how did they end up together? It was the funniest thing Cause I just, you just know, sometimes, like you, you see somebody or you meet them and you just listen to them and you're like how did that happen? Like, how did that come together? You know Right.
Andrea McGinty:So I totally agree with you. I mean, an extrovert doesn't necessarily need another extrovert to be fine with an introvert, you know. I mean the things that really matter. I really think there's three things that matter, and it's good communication, it's common values, it's chemistry I agree, and that chemistry thing. I can't even begin to tell you about chemistry because chemistry okay, we're not 18 where we go out on a date and our hormones are like whoa, I can't wait for, you know, x, y, z to happen. You know let's get intimate, you know it's not like that anymore. So we're a little bit older, in our 40s or 50s, whatever, if chemistry doesn't happen within the first three dates.
Andrea McGinty:It's never going to happen, ever, ever, ever. And I get to know oh, I get some clients to get stuck. But Andrea, on paper he's perfect. For me, he's perfect. He's from New York, he's got an investment banking background, so do I? This works my friends like um, but I'm not attracted to him. I go it's not going to work, it's not going to work. And then they wait six months and then they come back to me and go you're right, it didn't work, it didn't work.
Jennifer Loehding:So you've got to have those you've got to have those three.
Andrea McGinty:you've got to have those three things, yeah, yeah. Everything else can fall into place different interests, you know who cares. You're going to learn some new things.
Jennifer Loehding:Thanks for pointing that out because I know I think that is so true because I, you know, I have talks with people and I don't even do relationship, that's not a thing but it comes up in conversation with my girlfriends, that kind of thing, and you know we talk about that, the communications, important values. Funny story that other guy I've been keep talking about that came on the show. He was telling this story about how he started dating this woman and they got the money conversation out like in the beginning, because he said I'm not going to go down the road and we've invested all this time and then you've got to talk values, like we had that conversation in the beginning, so we've already ironed that out and had that. You know, wait, we know where our values are. And it made me laugh because I thought that is so funny because, especially if you're like in a situation like where I am, where we've been married for a long time, we were in our mid twenties when we got married.
Jennifer Loehding:We were young, we didn't know anything like values. What's that about? Like we're just. You know, babies haven't get married and having babies, right. Well, as you get older, right, your priorities are different. A lot of your core values are still there, right, but we, we talk about this. I'm like you know, that is one value we did not have a conversation about before we got married. We should have had a conversation about that one, you know, because they do, they follow you and and if they're not similar, they are issues and they and the longer you're together, the more they come up and you're kind of starting to combat them. You know what I mean, and so I think all those three things you talked about, yes, yeah, Huge.
Jennifer Loehding:If I had it like, if I was starting all over, I'd be like I'm calling you up, Help me with the pro, help me with all this stuff, cause I'm it like if I was starting all over, I'd be like I'm calling you up, help me with the pro, help me with all the stuff, because I'm serious, like that. I don't even, I wouldn't even be wanting to be like thinking about all that I've got. One of my good friends now is she's been a widow for a couple of years and she's in her fifties as well and she's like I'm not opposed to dating, I'm just not actively out looking. And so we were joking about checklists and we're like, oh my gosh, can you imagine Like, if now they would, I don't have this like checklist. It'd be so awful. I don't even know if we'd be passing, cause I'd be like they have to be like grounded communicator, you know, like all these things Right, and I'm like, oh my gosh, this would be awful, I don't want to do it.
Andrea McGinty:Yeah, yeah, you know, you know it's. People are kind of shocked when you say something like that. Yeah, people are, especially that people are widowed in their fifties. It happens, it does, it happens and you know it's. That's just like another animal and people who have been in happy marriages that are widowed, they tend to make really good second marriages you know, in their second act because they're expecting something good, because they had something good before it. You know, yeah, but you got to work through.
Andrea McGinty:you got to work through the process you know, there's an entire process, and that that's a whole different, a whole different thing.
Jennifer Loehding:Yeah.
Andrea McGinty:You want to talk about another problem?
Jennifer Loehding:Yeah, tell me, tell us another problem, yeah.
Andrea McGinty:Let me, okay, let me tell you what happens. This is, this is the other big problem with online dating. So, you know, I get everybody ready, right? You know, write their profile, get their photos up, put them on the right site, load everything up. It's looking beautiful. And then we have weekly coaching calls. I'm like how's it going? Nobody's okay. One or two things. Nobody's messaged me. And I go okay, how many men have you messaged? None. I go what are you doing? They're sitting there and they'll tell me these are women in their fifties and, by the way, guys, women, this is not the 1950s, you know, we are like it's 2020s. So I'm like no, no, no, no, we're all equal. We reach out, you know, we reach out to men with interesting, unique messages. We don't, we don't just sit there waiting for them to come and they'll be like.
Jennifer Loehding:well, I think I should be pursued and I'm like well, it's a 50, 50, 50 deal here.
Andrea McGinty:And you know what drives men crazy? When women and my male clients half my clients are male. What drives them crazy is when they get a message from a woman and this is the total message it's a heart, it's a like, it's a wig and that's it, nothing else. So they just kick the ball right back to the sky, like okay, now I have to think up something witty and amusing to say to this woman.
Andrea McGinty:To the wife All men think when a woman reaches out is hey, she's got self-confidence, and self-confidence is sexy. It really is. So you've got to be reaching out and it can't be these insipid messages that are like hey, how's your Friday? Hey, what are you doing for the 4th of July?
Andrea McGinty:It's generic and you start to think that's a cut and paste you know they're sending it to every woman out there or they're sending it to every man out there. So you've got to. You've got to, you know, go through their profile or go through you know what they've posted on Bumble or Hinge or whatever, and comment on something interesting and then follow up with a question Short, sweet, nowhere than three sentences, and hopefully they're going to respond, and then go into this knowing that here's the odds. Let's talk Vegas odds maker here. One in five messages gets a reply.
Andrea McGinty:So you can't go on and say, you know, spend a half an hour and send two messages and think I've done my work on this. And so part of the process of me coaching people, the first couple of times I'm on the hour long coaching call, I'm on the platform with them, I'm on Bumble with them and I'm like, okay, we found this guy, he looks good, he's, you know, checking our boxes. I'm going to write the message and so I'll read it out loud to you before I send it. And I read out loud the message and the client's like we're going to send that and I'm like, yeah, it's quirky.
Andrea McGinty:It's not that it's weird, it means it's unique.
Andrea McGinty:And you'll get a response back and all that does is push you up in the algorithms and then suddenly Bumble is starting to show you better and better men. So you know you've got to be interesting with these messages. And the other thing is you should never have it feel and this is a complaint I get from people online dating is awful. I, you know, it's like my full-time and I'm like what are you doing? And they're getting out and they're scrolling and they're seeing some good women and they're like, oh, I'll save her for later, let's see if there's something better. I'll save her for later, maybe. No, you've got to do something with these people because you don't want them constantly coming through your feed.
Andrea McGinty:So I tell my clients there's only two things you can do with somebody you're looking at. You either block them and delete them, or you send them a message. Doesn't mean you have to go on a date with them, but you're information gathering. So and I give it a score of one to a hundred, anything. When I'm on the phone with a client, I'm like, okay, what is he? She'll go a 60. Okay, anything over 50 gets gets a message. Yeah, anything below a 50, delete. We're we're not even, you know, wasting time and they want to talk about it and I'm like, no, we're not going to talk about this. Yeah, no, we're done. Yeah, yeah, he's not a good match for you. She's not a good match for you. Let's move on to the next one, because, look, there's hundreds of them.
Andrea McGinty:And yeah, let's get going with this and then stop the texting after three or four times and let's get to the date and let's say the next message you shoot out, whether a woman or a man hey, I'm totally interested. I think we're going to have fun together. How about we meet Thursday after work at 6 or Friday afternoon at 4 for a drink at Bistro 110? Does one of those work for you? So we're being specific. We're not saying let's get together sometime Sometimes, sometimes, sometimes, right, right, it's never going to happen.
Jennifer Loehding:Yeah, oh my gosh, there's so much. Okay, look, I love that you've got this all planned, because I think it's so great. And you and like at the end, when you this is so funny, you said that give them the option things, like you give them there's. There's like all psychology behind all of that. You know, like you give them the two times because they have to pick something. They can't be thinking like you say what time do you?
Jennifer Loehding:We did this in sales when I was at Mary Kay. I would talk about this. This is how I got people to events, because I wouldn't just say, do you want to come on Tuesday night to my event? Because then they could say no. I would be like, hey, I've got two events. All that that's a lot to come up with, right. But now you give them to.
Jennifer Loehding:There's so much psychology behind this. But I'm going to say I just love that you have this like formula, like you've got all this, like and so if you give them guidance and a direction, like it's almost like closet organizing or something. When you come in, you know, when you're doing it yourself, you're looking at everything and going, oh, this has value, this has value. I can't throw this away because mom gave me this, dad gave me this, sister. You're going through all this, all this emotional warfare, right, but if you have somebody, come in and they guide you and just say this is the system, this is how we're going to navigate this landscape. So we're going to look at this dating app and we're going to go okay, we're looking at these people and if we think they're over a 50, then move them over here, message them a couple of times, move on to the date You're going to find out. We're not going to keep doing all this playing around and waging war in our heads because we overthink everything right and overcomplicate.
Andrea McGinty:Exactly exactly. And you know what. I approach this very strategically. I'm a business person first, but you know, yeah, okay, in the dating sector, I'm good at that, but I'm a business person and I look at things strategically. And my book that came out in January has 15 worksheets in it and let's talk about the last one for a minute. It has QR codes that go with each one that I walk you through, like what you should be thinking about the last one. I get pushed back on this one from clients or people who just buy the book and email me and they're like do I really have to do this? So what it is, it's a personal business plan for your love life, for your dating life.
Andrea McGinty:And they're like Andrea, that's so unromantic. I go no, no, no, no, it's strategic. We have to think about what are you willing to do? How long are you willing to give this? What's it going to take? Who's your competition? Are you going to stay? Are you going to stay living in Dallas? Are you thinking of moving?
Andrea McGinty:Yeah, we asked a lot of different questions and then they're prepared when they go into this, you know, with the things that they're looking for Exactly, and the timeframe too. Instead of like, oh, I went on online dating and I quit after a week, I'm like, no, here's how online dating works. Three months, three months, you're going to give it because that's how long it generally takes. I mean, yeah, some people do it a month, you know, and meet the one, but three months is generally what it takes to get to that person and you've got to give it time and you've got to be strategic in how you're thinking about this, just like, how'd you get ahead in your career? How'd you get ahead in you know? How'd you become a better tennis player, a better golfer?
Jennifer Loehding:It's a plan.
Andrea McGinty:Yeah, you had a plan. You worked on it, yeah.
Jennifer Loehding:No, I'm listening to this and I'm hearing total, like I mean, I think it's great. I think somebody out there right now, if you are in a position where you need you're, you're navigating this landscape. I think what you're doing here is amazing, because I do. I think so often, and let's move out, not even talking about dating, but anything that we want to accomplish. This is how you know, we either navigate it from the place of I don't want to make a plan and I'm just going to roll in that, or we have a plan, and if we want to get something done, we need to have a plan, you know, and so I get it, and I'm also, by the way, an accounting background.
Jennifer Loehding:so I totally get it. I totally get it. I try to approach. I mean, I want to say there are some things in my life that I'm not trying to reach a goal on right now that I just do like you know, like I. I joke about exercising, you know, like that I just do it every day, cause I've just done it for so long, and I do it in my training. For anything right now, no, but I have also been a former marathon runner and when I was running marathons I was training to run marathons I had a plan, you know. And so I think, everything we do, there were times in our lives when we don't there our times and we need them. But right now, if you're in that dating landscape and that's important to you, it might be a good idea to have a plan of action. You know? Yeah, just like what?
Andrea McGinty:you said about the marathon. You know I mean you were training for the marathon. You know you didn't go out and run 26 miles at first. You know maybe you had a running buddy or you know you were doing a couple of miles and increasing it or whatever.
Andrea McGinty:It's the same thing with dating Practice and I always tell people, especially people who have come out of long marriages or they're widowed, or long relationships, the first three or four dates are nothing to me except practice dates. They're only practice, because I want you to get your self-confidence and you know, wow, I'm still interesting, I still have things to talk about. You know, I haven't. I haven't missed that much. I'm still really interesting and that that makes you feel so good. And even if that person's not for you, who cares? And sometimes that's even what I say. You know they're 50, 50,. I'm going on a date and it's early, it's the beginning. I'm like, hey, you were married for 25 years. Just go on a date with him. Yeah, he's a may not be the man of your dreams, but you know he's not awful either. And get, get some practice.
Jennifer Loehding:you know, yeah, I know, and I think that's what life is about. It's about, I think sometimes we we have, you know we do things because we don't. You know we we stay away from things because we don't see that immediate gain. But I always think everything's a learning experience anyways and, like you said, you're going to get some practice. You're going to be better at the next date If you go on one, and even if it is a flop or a bust, you're going to learn something from it what not to do, maybe at the next one, or what to do differently or, you know whatever. So I think all things are experiences that add to our tool belt and help us, you know, be better at humans.
Jennifer Loehding:I want to ask you kind of a personal question. I think you, I think what you're doing is awesome and I love your energy and I and I really love what you're bringing to this, because I think that you're definitely vivacious, you're passionate about this, and this is why I want to ask you this question. I want to know what you love about this. What is this for you? Because there's definitely something there for you.
Andrea McGinty:Yeah, you know, I think I've got a little bit of like a helper mentality somewhere inside me, like I like to see people happy. So I think this was a really good career choice for me and, believe me, it wasn't something I planned out. I did not plan this to be my career. It kind of found me and it was perfect for me because I could relate to people you know that came in and they were having trouble their 20s and 30s dating and then later on I was married for 24 years and luckily had a very amicable divorce and that was like six or seven years ago and it took me three more years to go online and do and start dating because you know what I mentally, I just wasn't ready.
Andrea McGinty:Another thing that goes my first worksheet my book, by the way is where's your head at? Because you've got to know where, where your head's at um. So what do I get out of this? Um I I meet the most interesting people. Um, I get to ask questions that if you're in corporate America you'd get fired if you ask these questions. So I get very, you know, I learn very personal things about people and I'm able to take those things and use those things and help them. You know, on the pathway to finding someone, and there is nothing better than me, like on a Sunday morning, picking up my work phone and seeing, like some texts that you know are like third date, andrea, it went great. Uh, we had a pajama party, you know, like you know. Or, or you know, oh, my bulletin board's right over there, you know. Or, or you know, oh, my bulletin board's right over there.
Andrea McGinty:And, um, okay, I'm looking at one one Christmas card I got and it's like this six, you know it folds out, it's like six panels, whatever. And she was one of my toughest clients. I was like, oh, my gosh, what am I going to do with her? Um, and she's just tough as nails, nails, new York or Wall Street, anyway. But she also liked to sail and so when I was going through men for another client, I saw this guy that all I talked about was sailing and I'm like, ooh, I've got to save this guy for her. Anyway, the Christmas card, you know. So I lose track after you know, the package is over, that they do with me. But I knew she was dating him, the sailing guy. And at Christmas time I get this card and it says Andrea, we got married. Who knew, the same year I got Medicaid, I would get married?
Jennifer Loehding:Oh, my goodness.
Andrea McGinty:Wow, and her name and I was like she's 65, obviously, and you know it's a second act for her and she's thrilled. So you know, I get. I feel like I'm doing something good too, you know I like it, I have fun with it.
Andrea McGinty:I like it, I have fun with it. I have fun with these podcasts. I want to help people you know, whether or not you know they use me as a coach, or they buy my book, or they go on and take my three minute dating quiz to just on my website, just to see how they stack up against other people. I feel like I'm helping you know, I'm helping them, you know, wrap their head around what dating looks like in 2025. Um, and okay, I got remarried. Um, he was my sixth first date that I met online and I met him in two months and he's perfect for me and he listens to my stories. You know, when we go out for dinner or for drinks, he's like and he came from corporate America. He's like, oh my gosh, what you do, you know and what people say to you. We just went and saw that matchmaker movie.
Andrea McGinty:Um and he's like whispering to me that's your wife, that's what I hear from your office People saying to you. You know expectations and everything, so I just think I have a super fun job you do you do and I can hear it in your voice.
Jennifer Loehding:I don't. It's funny. I used to ask this question a lot and I don't always ask it, but sometimes you know like I'm an energy feeler, so I pick, I pick up on people's energy and I can tell when people are like truly, I feel like I can tell when people are really passionate about what they're doing and they're you know like they really like what they're doing, and so that's what I would say about these podcasts. I never know how these conversations are going to go. I let them organically flow and the questions I don't feel like it always starts out the same, but how it navigates through till we land the plane, I never know, because it's whatever comes up in my heart or my head at the time I'm listening to somebody.
Jennifer Loehding:So thank you for sharing that, because I think you know I've had people come on.
Jennifer Loehding:We talk about being light seekers and helpers of the world, and I think when you get to find your gift, whatever that is, and you're passionate about it, I just think that's a really cool thing. And so I listened to you and you were giving me chills, as I was, because that's how I feel about the work that I do and that's why I do the podcast that I do, because it's not just for me about getting behind a microphone. I mean I talk all the time, I have no problem. I do work workshops here. I'm starting a new networking group here. I mean I do this stuff all the time. But it's really the message that I'm trying to send through the podcast because of my own personal journey, the things I've had to go through, the illnesses I've had to overcome and different things we've navigated, and I feel like some of us are chosen to share those stories and to be those people that can go out there and help other people kind of find their way, pave their way, and so what?
Andrea McGinty:you're doing, I love it.
Jennifer Loehding:I think it's great and for anybody listening to this again, I'll say that's in that place. They need to go to your site, do all those things, check you out, get your book. Whatever they need to hire you, I don't know. So, with all that, I want to know where do we send them? So if they do want to catch up with you or find a book or take that quiz that you're talking about, what's the website you want to send them to?
Andrea McGinty:Okay, go to my website, Go to 33,000dates and it's 33000datescom, and there's a couple things to do on there. So one of them is I would absolutely take the dating quiz because it's going to show you how you stack up against other people who have been really successful with online dating and have met somebody. So it'll kind of give you more insight into you know how you're doing in your mindset. The second thing is my baby. That came out. My baby came out. My book is really good too. If you don't want to use me because it's really, I take you through A through Z 166 strategies. There's no fluffy stuff in there. You know pretty direct Do this, do this, do this, don't do this, don't do this. So it's available everywhere. Get it on Amazon, because that's where the best price is.
Jennifer Loehding:Yeah it's on my website too, but get it on Amazon.
Andrea McGinty:Yeah, and then what else is there? Oh, yeah, and then there's another thing on there where you can click the link if you want to do a 15 minute call with me and see, you know, for a good fit to work together. And of course, I have a ton of blogs and I've got a YouTube channel, you know, just full of me talking about. You know, frequently asked questions that I get all the time Like am I too old? To date? That's the number one question. Oh, my goodness, no, it'll be like a 53 year old. Like no, no, you're right.
Jennifer Loehding:No, no, I was too old. I guess, if you decide you are, you are.
Andrea McGinty:But no right, Right. No, I'm too old, I guess. If you decide you are, you are, but no Right, Right. So you know.
Jennifer Loehding:So I think there's good content on the, on the website. So that's where I'm going to connect with you so we can stay in touch. I love what you're doing. I think it's great and it's fun and, um, I like your personality, so I think that makes all the difference. You know, you gotta have, you gotta have fun doing what you're doing and you got to be fun with it. You know, because nobody likes to be, you know, doing things that are hard and dating doesn't have to be, but it can be hard if you're not doing it right. So I think you're a great resource for helping people navigate that landscape and making it fun. Make it not such that dreaded thing. Oh gosh, I got to get back into the dating world thing. You know, like that's what I hear from my single, my, my divorce friends. It's like, oh gosh, I don't want to get back into that space, you know. So, hey, we're just going to send them your direction, andrea.
Andrea McGinty:We're going to tell them all go that way, all good.
Jennifer Loehding:So thank you for sharing all this with us. It's been great. I've enjoyed chatting with you and, like this, is the first time we've gotten to meet, and so it's been a pleasure to have you on here and appreciate all that you're doing to make the world a better place. Thank you, it's awesome. All right, and to our audience, of course, we appreciate you and want to say thanks for tuning in. We hope you found this episode both inspiring and informative and, of course, if you do, you know what to do. Go, do all the things like comment, share so we can keep sharing all of this fabulous content with you. And, as I always say, in order to live the extraordinary, you must start, and every start begins with a decision. You guys, take care, be safe, be kind to one another and we will see you next time. Thank you.
