Starter Girlz Podcast

The Enemy Within: A Leader’s Turning Point (with Darin Newbold, Former COO, Army National Guard Captain & Enneagram + Purpose Factor Coach)

• Jennifer Loehding • Season 7 • Episode 104

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What if the greatest obstacle in your leadership journey isn’t the market, your team, or your circumstances—but the enemy within?

In this powerful episode of the Starter Girlz Podcast, host Jennifer Loehding sits down with Darin Newbold, former COO, Army National Guard captain, and certified Enneagram & Purpose Factor coach, to unpack the turning point that changed everything: the moment he realized the real roadblock to growth was himself.

Darin shares the shift that helped him recognize his own patterns, step into deeper self-awareness, and develop the tools he now uses to help others discover purpose, regulate emotions, and lead with clarity. From confronting imposter syndrome to transforming internal pressure into purpose, this conversation will inspire you to look inward and lead differently.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
✅ How to recognize and overcome self-sabotage as a leader
✅ The moment Darin realized the real enemy was in the mirror
✅ The Bold GPS Framework for aligning identity and direction
✅ Why self-awareness is the foundation of effective leadership
✅ How the Enneagram can reveal blind spots and emotional triggers
✅ Tools for managing emotional activation and reframing internal pressure
✅ Daily mindfulness practices to build courage, clarity, and emotional stability
✅ What it really means to redefine success and build a lasting legacy

Whether you’re a CEO, entrepreneur, coach, or team leader, this conversation will help you lead yourself first so you can lead others with authenticity and impact. If you’ve ever struggled with inner resistance, uncertainty, or the pressure to perform, this episode will give you frameworks, language, and tools to grow from the inside out.

Connect with Darin Newbold:
🌐 Website: https://yourboldsolutions.com

Connect with Starter Girlz Podcast:
🌐 Website: https://startergirlz.com
🙌 Partner: Walt Mills Productions

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Darin Newbold:

being in that place where I can watch and see that happen with others. And being able to bring great tools like like the Enneagram where it really really shows literally the map of who a person is. And and that map, any map you look at, it's going to have the the great places to visit. Right. It's also going to have the places where you may not want to visit. And it could even show where the roadblocks, row, the bumps, the other things are. And that's the Enneagram.

Jennifer Loehding:

Yeah.

Darin Newbold:

And when you have that map to know so much about yourself, it's that self-knowledge. Because the only person in the only person in the world that you can change is yourself.

Jennifer Loehding:

Welcome to the Starter Girlz Podcast, your ultimate source of inspiration and empowerment. We're here to help women succeed in every area of their lives career, money, relationships, and health and well-being. While celebrating the remarkable journeys of individuals from all walks of life who've achieved amazing things. Whether you're looking to supercharge your career, build financial independence, nurture meaningful relationships, or enhance your overall well-being, the Starter Girlz Podcast is here to guide you. Join us as we explore the journeys of those who dare to dream big and achieve greatness. I'm your host Jennifer Loehding and welcome to this episode. Welcome to another episode of the Starter Girls Podcast. Wherever you are tuning in today, we are so glad to have you. I'm your host Jennifer Loehding. And so I want to open this up today and ask you ever wonder how some leaders seem to navigate challenges with clarity, courage, and momentum? My guest today has built a lifetime of experience helping leaders do exactly that. And so this is going to be so much fun. As you can see, we are here in the studio today. Again, I'm so excited when I get to go in studio to do a podcast because I think it is just so much or podcast episode is so much more fun. So we're over here at the meeting place in the farmers branch Addison area. And so if you are here locally come and check this place out. It is amazing. And so before we do bring our guest on today I do need to do a quick shout out to our sponsor. This episode is brought to you by Walt Mills Productions. Need to add excitement to your YouTube videos or some expert hands for editing? Look no further. Walt Mills is the solution you've been searching for. Walt is not only your go-to guy for spicing up content, he's the force behind a thriving film production company with numerous titles in the pipeline. Always on the lookout for raw talent Walt is eager to collaborate on film and internet productions. With a background deeply rooted in entertainment and promotion, Walt Mills leverages years of skills to give you the spotlight you deserve. Want to learn more about Walt and his work? Head on over to Waltmills Productions dot net and let your content shine. All right and with that I do want to make a mention to head on over to startergirlz.com. I tell you this every single week and why do I say that? For three reasons. One, because you can catch up on any episode that you have missed and they are all there pretty much. Or you can also sign up for a community newsletter, stay in the know, you won't miss an upcoming episode. And then last but not least, if you are an aspiring entrepreneur or maybe you're in the thick of it, I don't know. And you want to find out what your number one success block is that may be hindering your success, well guess what? I've got your back. You can go over there and take a two minute quiz that I've created and it will tell you what that block is that may be keeping you stuck right now. So head on over to startergirlz.com and do your thing whatever that is. All right my guest I'm so excited today. So Darin Newbold journey stretches from the plains of western Kansas to the boardrooms of growing businesses, a former COO, Army National Guard captain and church plant leader, Darin is now a certified purpose factor and Enneagram coach. Through his bold GPS framework he helps purpose driven leaders uncover what drives them, what fulfills them and what derails them, creating clarity, momentum and stronger teams without losing themselves along the way. All right Darin, well welcome to the Starter Girls show welcome to the meaty place. We're so excited to have you here today.

Darin Newbold:

How awesome. Jennifer thank you so much. And after that wonderful introduction I'm kind of like do you have the right person here? I'm not sure I'm not sure but no that's fantastic. And I'm excited to be here. Love to be a part of this and uh since you and I've known each other for so long but yet yet we still it it's taken a while to finally connect up. So I'm really glad we have.

Jennifer Loehding:

Thank you. And then no sometimes that happens it's funny you know how I think timing is everything with people right like I think sometimes you can meet somebody and it's like you cross paths and then you're like okay well that wasn't anything and then something comes up where you're like hey this person fits into this space at that time and who knows what happens from there. So it's a good thing. But yes we have known each other since like before COVID. Like wait I can't even like way back when I think I I think I met you I wasn't even doing a podcast yet. I don't think I've started it yet. So and it's crazy because our listeners that have been with us for a long time this show is now this month October sixth year. Sixth year we've been doing the Starter Girlz show. So a lot of episodes a lot of humans a lot of stories so good stuff. Well and Darin I'm excited because what you're doing I think is awesome because I think it's a lot of what I understand like what I'm doing and and I love this idea that you've got the Enneagram in there. So I want to open this up and let you tell us a little bit about what you're doing to help your clients and then I want to talk about like what got us to this place.

Darin Newbold:

I hear you. So for me what got me here was this journey of well going through some challenges and I wish my story was that hey roads to riches and I suddenly woke up and figured out business had it handled and next thing you know I'm a millionaire and I'm on the you know writing the books and doing the speaking. My my road didn't go that way. It was uh a much more windy up and down with with more downs than it ought to have had and what I learned through that and what really kind of led me to this is in those downs and having the blessing is is having a fantastic coach executive coach that was helping me this entire time kind of walk through some of that and the challenge sometimes of when you're working with someone in realizing that their journey is this winding path that he had to help me kind of almost look in the mirror and be able to see hey wow I looked in the mirror I saw the enemy and the enemy was me and it was at that point in that journey that the lights came on and all of a sudden things then didn't become instantly easy. Right. But what it did become is is ways that I could then handle it and the decision making became better the the actions became better and more direct took more initiative and all of the things that had been getting me in getting in my way started to at least didn't get out of my way but I handled them to the point where then it did feel like they were out of my way like wow why did that even bother me or why did that even challenge me? And so that was the the journey that really got me to this place and my coach is the one that ultimately when when my job situation changed you mentioned I was a former COO and and and was for an e-commerce agency and we had to restructure and that was at the end of last year and so the beginning of this year started this journey and he was the one that said and this was the second time he had said this to me was Darren I think it's I think you ought to look at being a coach. I think you could really bring a lot of the things that we've we've worked on and what you've worked on over these years. And with that my passion has always been on personal development I've uh I've walked across fire barefoot three times on purpose. Yeah uh jumped out of a perfectly good airplane uh and and all of that and so with those things I I said hey now is the time it really did feel right and I pursued and and became certified with both uh the Enneagram as an Enneagram coach as well as the purpose factor and really taking those and developing my own brand my own product and and really what all that looks like but yeah that's that's a bit of the journey and how we got there.

Jennifer Loehding:

Yeah I have so much to say out of that because first of all the the nonlinear journey is so common I think for so many people in the entrepreneur life, right? I think that if you had I don't want to say that if it was linear that that's a bad thing but it might be kind of boring right like it just would not be the wild ride. And and I don't think the lessons would be learned if everything was just in a straight path right like I think it has to be crazy. But I will tell you I know from talking to a lot of different people and I will say in my personal journey that even when you've had those nonlinear situations, there's a lot of overlap, right? Like there's a lot of the pieces you pick up in each of those craft where you're going to the next step and you needed them. You needed them to get to the next step, right? Like you wouldn't have been able to be a coach had you not had some hard stuff that prompted you to get a coach right that that let that worked with you and kind of put the the mirror in front of you and said hey Darren you got to look at this you're the problem. Hello you know and and good for you for receiving it right being okay with that because that's hard to to do that. But you wouldn't have been able to do what you're doing today had you not done all that.

Darin Newbold:

Oh absolutely and it's it's one of those that we each take our own time and and we each have to learn our lessons in our own time. And I I now really enjoy being in that place where I can watch and see that happen with others. And being able to bring great tools like like the Enneagram where it really really shows literally the map of who a person is and and that map any map you look at it's going to have the the great places to visit. Right. It's also going to have the places where you may not want to visit and it could even show where the roadblocks row the bumps the other things are and that's the Enneagram.

Jennifer Loehding:

Yeah.

Darin Newbold:

And when you have that map to know so much about yourself it's that self-knowledge because the only person in the only person in the world that you can change is yourself. That's right. I can't change you I can't cause you to do I can I can encourage you but I can't change you. And that was that's one of the big lessons. And then the side the the second piece that that really fell into my lap and this was the the proverbial domino for sure that really pushed me down this path was when I got introduced to the purpose factor. And for me though I you may think I'm in my 30s I'm not um a few years past that but uh with that I've I've always kind of been on this journey of what do I want to be when I grow up right and it was so illuminating to kind of just stumble into and find this this assessment that really helps build that out and then show you your purpose but not just that it's then tying that into what fulfills you.

Jennifer Loehding:

Yeah.

Darin Newbold:

And when you know what fulfills you and that's doing that on purpose for others it's all of a sudden it's like holy crap where was this you know 20 30 years ago.

Jennifer Loehding:

Yeah. And when you match that with what you're talking about the Enneagram, which is finding out who you are as an individual then you can take what your purpose is, put that with the strengths and the and then know your weaknesses, put those together, you got a perfect blend.

Darin Newbold:

So well and that's I've I've even I'm branding that and what I'm doing with that is calling that bold GPS. And that's your bold guided purpose system.

Jennifer Loehding:

Love it.

Darin Newbold:

So that your map of of yourself is that Enneagram to know who you are know your the good the bad the ugly and and and kind of needing a guide to help understand that map but then also having a destination or not a destination is not the right word because I don't think we're we ever have a destination but you have a a target a a direction to go and that's that purpose. You combine that then bring in the knowledge of my years of experience as well as being an EOS integrator for for our company for five years and and a lot of that process and building out businesses, putting that together that becomes bold GPS and it really is a way to help someone kind of really understand who they are and help help them be the best they can be but then know where they're at, where they want to go on their journey as well as hey what are some things that might get in the way and some blind spots that they may not have ever known.

Jennifer Loehding:

No, this is all good. I love it because all the stuff I taught I love it. It's funny you know when I worked with this firm for a while and I had this um I was working I don't remember I think she was I don't know she was like I I want to say maybe a counselor in her former wife or whatever but she was the CEO of the company at the time and so we talked about the Jihari window and I loved it because it was the whole thing about the blind spots, right? And so what I love about what you're doing here that I think is really neat is that you've kind of crafted because I think a lot of times and I don't want to talk poorly about coaches because I think there are a lot of great coaches out there. I'm one there's a lot of them out there. But I think a lot of times people wake up and they decide they want to be a coach right and they're like oh I'm gonna start talking about this mindset and stuff. And I'm like, oh no, there's so much to this. And I think you know the best place to teach someone is from when you've walked through, when you've come through something and you can develop a system or or take a system, borrow a system, whatever, come up with something that worked for you and you know that it worked for you and then you're able to transfer that to other people. And that's similarly like what I had to do because I went through and I did a certification through a life coaching course. And then I had, you know, my 22 years in Mary Kay, I got leadership, right? And then I went in and I did all these other things modalities like I'm nervous system trained, but I have all these different things. That's not that's just a modality. But my point to this is that I had to bridge together what it was that I actually did when I went through this really hard well I've had several of them but I had a really really hard time in 2012 when I got diagnosed which is in that book with my with my disorder. I had to figure out how I came out of that because people were asking me like what did I do to get out of this and I had to think about what was it that I did. Yeah what was it just mindset? Was it just because it that was only the eye the tip of the iceberg like right that opened up this whole like volcano of like discovery that I was trying to go through because it wasn't just even about that. It became about why did it happen? How did I contribute? Like what was my role in that situation? And that's what you're talking about when you say that mirror was flipped on you now and you're looking at you and going, I'm the problem. I started recognizing where I was where I had actually contributed to this. And so I think the big thing here that I'm that I want to say about your work is that I like that you're piecing together this framework of what worked for you. So it's not just you parroting this one thing that you learned and being like that's the the fix-all that is the one thing that everybody yes there are things we pull in that but it's really a framework right of things that help us be successful, fulfilled whatever it is we're searching for, right?

Darin Newbold:

Well and it's it's it's meeting meeting people where they're at absolutely and again just speaking using the Enneagram as an example it's it's one of those I have a client that she's a um she's an executive had started out as a as a basically an individual contributor and because of her great success got that promotion well then got the promotion that now she's over basically in charge of people that she used to report to well that's an interesting interesting situation. She's also an Enneagram eight well if you know anything about the Enneagram eights are the challenger they are the I'm a challenger. Yes yes I would I would agree with that they are the lead follower get the heck out of the way kind of folks do do the job or move. And so being a female in this in this situation running into a situation where very strong very confident knows who she is knows her capabilities but then now feeling this imposter syndrome that because she's hearing things or hearing voices whether it's hers hers real or the voices that you know the the story that she's telling herself as Brene Brown would say. And so helping her through that process and to recognize and to dispute refute if you will the lies the stories that we tell ourselves but being able to fill that with the truths that she is worthy that she is worth it that she can do this that there is nothing that prevents her from doing that.

Jennifer Loehding:

It's good.

Darin Newbold:

It's helping people on that journey and and that's that's what I love to do. I think it's a lot of fun and I love to do that with uh with the businesses and and and also being a veteran uh definitely have a soft spot in my heart for for veteran and veteran owned businesses as well and how how I can help them.

Jennifer Loehding:

Yeah let's talk about that being a veteran and coming into this space because obviously you've been in a lot of places where you've had leadership roles and that gets back to the I think leadership I think those of us that are there we've sort of I was never in the military I've had people ask me that they're like were you ever I'm like no it's never military. I would have been bossy. But the thing is I think those of us that have leadership skills, I think leaders can be developed and born but a lot of us we fall into those roles like again going back to that nonlinear process the leadership skills kind of carry. They follow you through so I would love to know like just like what are some things that maybe you carried over that help you like when you get stuck because people listening to this say okay but we're helping them get unstuck but that doesn't mean we don't get stuck. We have our moments too like we get in I sometimes get in my own little funk and I have just today in fact I was having a moment earlier today talked about head stuff I was having a moment today and I was like thinking about something and I was like Jennifer you suck. And then I'm like oh no we ain't knowing this today we're not going down that and you know what I did I started my mantra like I have my own little like my little it's like a two sentence I used to say it on my starter girls podcast it was my clothes but I use it as my personal mantra and when I find myself doing that stupid like you better believe I'll be like today's a great day to be brave you might as well start now you have the power to change the circumstances any day you decide let today be that day. And I will do that over and over I will do it 10, 15, 20 times if I have to just to get my brain in a different direction. So I want to know from you like what did you carry over?

Darin Newbold:

So one of the things one of the things for me that it had I didn't realize this was a big challenge and and my coach helped me see this and so now it's an ongoing journey if you will but it's it's when you're emotionally activated and sometimes you don't realize it you don't realize you're emotionally activated but your body does and your body's changing and or for for and it happens in different people. I feel it in my chest some people feel it in their throat they can feel it wherever but they'll feel it and it's it's recognizing those signs when we're emotionally activated. And then the other thing for me is is that that having ADD and and dealing with that fun that your brain can just you can just become so hyper focused on one really negative thing and then I used to joke and tell people that the four horsemen of the apocalypse ride over the hill and then they just pile on top oh yeah it's just a party after that and I can you know if I'm not careful I can wallow in that I can just take that and where that really comes up is interpersonal relationships. Yes yes you know oftentimes it's the people that we are the closest to that then we either have some expectation of or something is is a need is not being met and we get triggered or get activated or something from our history all of a sudden comes up. And it's those times where I have to take that moment to recognize it, kind of call it out, give it a name, name it so I know what it is, put some emotion, where is it coming from and then kind of question it and be able to reframe it. Being able to question it and say, how is this serving me? Is this real? Is is what's the story that it's really telling and as you start to peel that back you often find that you know your spouse, significant other, whoever, they're rarely they're wanting to intend harm to somebody else. They're not wanting to hurt. Right. However they're gonna do things that are in their self-interest that they may not realize create harm or hurt. And so it's recognizing that and being able to say hey this is really probably coming from a place of love just doesn't feel like that from where I'm at. Yeah. And so that helps and those those same relationships happen at work. They happen between boss and and employee or employee to employee happens all the time and being able to recognize that and that's where teaching and helping teams understand kind of about themselves and have this kind of bring in the bold GPS piece but have that understanding it really can can change the dynamics of it of a group kind of the big joke is is imagine you're in a conference room and maybe you're the one that's presenting and there's six other people in the conference room. Well if you could pause time and then see the little thought bubble above their head of what they're thinking about the interesting thing is is it would it would start to break out some of the the what the where their fears and motivations come from and that's what the Enneagram really tells is your core fears, your core motivations. And with that all of a sudden the the conversations become wildly different and the conflict can become wildly crazy if you're not careful.

Jennifer Loehding:

It's good well and what I'm hearing from you on all of this is really just the the I'm taking away from it just the pausing for a second right like the pausing to assess kind of thing.

Darin Newbold:

Sometimes it it's recognizing that. Yeah and and I would tell people that if you know the first first step is recognizing it obviously but being able to pause that is not an easy thing. No it's not especially when we get back to the AD the A T V right and and oh by the way if you have just a tiny bit of a temper that every time comes out yeah that can be that can make it challenging yeah and so being able to then learn to pause and to and to be okay with hey I need to walk away I need to I need TV time out kind of thing that can be helpful. And sometimes you don't get that sometimes it can happen in a moment you're moving along and it's happened so quickly you still need to it's still helpful to be able to at least in your mind be able to to ask a different question. Kind of force and and you just about have to force yourself to do that.

Jennifer Loehding:

Yeah and I and I think too Darren I I think obviously I feel like it's sort of like anything you do CPR anything self-defense anything right like the first time you do it. Practice practice exactly practice practice because I I even me like I have a temper and and I I don't I've never been diagnosed with ADD but I got two kids with it. So I'm pretty sure somewhere in our family it's running it's running there. It's funny I attract all those people in my world they like we're like glue we're all together you know it's like we all figure out we got that that just that little something going on there. You know what I will say something though we'll side note this really quick because ADD people are great at getting things done because they can in a moment's notice think fast and move fast most of the time. So I think that's why that pause is so hard because I had a I had a lady come on my show just to backpedal this a second I had a lady come on my show way back in the beginning and I can't remember she worked for like IBM or something and she did something kind of like the Enneagram but it was not as broad. It was smaller. And I remember her talking about she had labels for all these people. They weren't AD D people we had labels but she said people that are like she was using me specifically are the type of people that work well in high-paced environments. So I could go into like work in an EMT or a hospital or whatever because in crisis I can think really fast and I go into action fast. Like and if we are like we're all gonna die, I'm like you stick with me because we're gonna be fighting we're gonna be moving we're gonna be fighting we ain't gonna be getting caught because that's how I roll right I can think fast and I move fast. But I also had another guy that when I told you I worked with that firm for a while, he told me it scares he said another explicative but he says it scares the crap out of people because I will take a situation so imagine my husband's fear every day. I will take a situation and I'm like dude why are we thinking about this like I've already we need to move like we don't have time to sit on this we need and everybody else is still talking about what needs to happen, what's happened I'm like we need to move so I will say this about having that I think it it gives there's a lot of strength in that because it gives you the ability to make decisions and move forward and not have to sit and ponder.

Darin Newbold:

The other side of that is in those moments when we need to pause we have to really be aware of that and pause you know so here's a here's an interesting example and and you've self-said you're an Enneagram eight I'm an Enneagram seven so well hey we're right next to each other for all of all of that there are some differences and they're significant one of them is the the kind of centers of intelligence in how that comes together. And so for for an Enneagram 8 for you doing is your primary that's that's where you go. So you're doing is first then you think about something and then my husband would agree with you and then a lot later on and it it's always later on when you have a moment to pause you'll feel you'll have some feelings about it. Okay.

Jennifer Loehding:

Mm-hmm.

Darin Newbold:

And you gram seven I think about it first. Think about it. Then I do then you do and then later on I might have some feelings on it. So the interesting dichotomy of that is is you have a seven and an eight so my fiance's an eight yeah and a lot of challenges because much like you she will hey well let's just do it. Yeah let's go dive in no toe dipping did you did did you even think about this this or this did you ever consider and and so it's yeah it creates some challenges and part of part of knowing that is then helping someone helping someone like yourself like me because we're both we're both feelings repressed if you will so being able to then one of the greatest things for you and I people like us is to have those contemplative practices to have that either meditation or just the the kind of the alone time walking or or doing those things that can be so helpful because it's one of the few times that we can never try and quiet our minds down and really be present.

Jennifer Loehding:

No and I think it's great that you're doing this Enneagram because yes I think that we know so we know how we operate and if when you don't know then you're just like the way it was my husband says it's like we were in I don't know who it was we were in his thing and he was talking about when you aim the gun it's like you know ready fire was it ready aim fire I'm just like fire shoot. My husband's like you're like shoot shoot shoot I tease my husband I'm like you're like aim aim aim shoot shoot the clean it's so fun but my point that we can laugh about this and make fun of it because you and I understand it like we get it and we know how we operate. And I think that's the beautiful thing is when you know how you operate then you can say and so even though I tend to lean into that go I will tell myself a lot of times Darren I will say Jennifer you need to hold up for just a second pause on that for a minute and sit in it sit in it and make sure. And so now I feel like most of the time I mean I'm in my 50s now I feel like I'm learning a few things finally Darren I can finally think a little bit about it and go, you know what? Let me get one more piece of information before I just jump on that. Now my my 21 year old son, I got three kids. My youngest is a lot like me. You can imagine what it's like because I'm like dude Sean did you think about that did you think about tomorrow or the next day how that's gonna how that's gonna play out because it's just I want to get it done. I want to do it you know get out of my way. And so there's a lot of truth in what you're saying and I do think the Enneagram's great. I think whatever, you know I I studied it studied Meyer Briggs. I love the Enneagram. I think I trained on DISC for many years not quite as broad but it would give you kind of a little bit of that. I think understanding your strengths and your weaknesses is imperative to succeeding at anything that you're doing.

Darin Newbold:

It'd be interesting it'd be interesting even for you maybe even to look at the purpose factor because we haven't talked about it as much on this but the purpose factor the way it's broken down is in four primary components. Yeah. And the first one is your natural advantage so it's what what Jennifer's naturally good at what comes together and then the the next piece is the acquired skills and those are the things that you've learned if from your schooling and from life. The third thing is very unique. It's called your pull passion and that's the problem that Jennifer is attracted to and most well designed to solve. And then the last piece is your origin strength which goes to that origin story of what struggles you've gone through, how you've handled that you bring all four of those components together and that builds out your dynamo factor You've got the purpose factor of what your purpose is, but your purpose is all around how that is in the in the service and in what you're doing for others, because from others, that's where you get your fulfillment. So now you know your purpose and what fulfills you. And having that and being able to then lean and live into that really changes the dynamics of everything that you want to do. Yeah.

Jennifer Loehding:

We're doing good stuff, Darren. I love it. Okay, so I have some fun questions I want to ask you. So because I think we got to get this all right on the hot seat here. Yeah, because we will have all well, we just keep going on about all this greatness here. Okay, so here's a couple things I want to ask you. So I would love to know. Like we we've talked about kind of meditation and this, personal things. Any like wellness practices that are just like your, I feel like are just your guided thing. This is what you do. It helps you get through your day, keeps you grounded and focused.

Darin Newbold:

Probably one of the biggest things, and it's still a struggle. I won't say that I'm an expert on this. However, I learned about a kind of a contemplative practice, and it's very simple. Kind of it's basically meditation, but you're you're just sitting quiet 20 minutes, and you can start shorter and build up, but 20 minutes, and all you do is is sit and and clear your mind, and then you really have just one word.

Jennifer Loehding:

Is it the transcendental?

Darin Newbold:

Uh I chose my my word is called fa is faith. So I can say faith. It's kind of like transcendental. And so just go through that for that 20 minutes, and it is for the first, for the longest time, in fact, almost every time I've ever done this, it's a 20 minutes of complete failure. Because trying to clear my mind is yeah, it's tough. So but in doing it, it that was magic, and it has been magic. And I can't recommend it more highly for others, in especially if you have that very active mind and you have struggles. You know, I know a lot of people going to bed, they lay down and all of a sudden the mind kicks on. And being able to kind of have walked through and done it several times when you're wide awake when I mean during the day, um, but being able to have that practice can be really magical.

Jennifer Loehding:

I think it's great. I I studied transcendental meditation. I I started doing that when my daughter and I were going through a really tough time, and it was so helpful. But I do agree with you that sitting for 20 minutes in transcendental, they would have you do it, they have you do it twice a day for 20 minutes. And um that taking that time to just sit down and carve out to do that, and your brain's wanting to go, like, you know, but the whole idea is the same thing, you're coming back to that center word, so that hopefully when you're you know rabbit holing your brain's going down, you bring it back in again.

Darin Newbold:

But it's yeah, it's it's having the grace to be able to say, okay, that's okay, and just let it go.

Jennifer Loehding:

Yeah. When I first started, it was crazy. I was it was so crazy, I kept falling asleep. I would, I'm like, don't lie in your bed when you're doing the training, the meditation. Because Jennifer would just be like, oh, she's tired. But then my you know, my practitioner would be like, Your body probably needed it, you know, let it if it if it needed it. But meditation's good. I think it's good. And I love that you're doing something because I think something's better than nothing.

Darin Newbold:

Absolutely.

Jennifer Loehding:

You know, good stuff. Okay, so balancing personal and and well, let me let me backput. I want to do something different. I want to know because we've said so much here, how how do you define success? Because it's very different coming from like corporate to entrepreneur space. We have to look at things a little bit. I mean, yes, we we still are driven by our ROI. We have to make money, right? Because we can't be poor as entrepreneurs. But what is success? How do you define that for you?

Darin Newbold:

Wow, that's a fun question. If you'd asked me 20 years ago, it would have been money, pay money with lots of zeros behind it. Now where I'm at, yes, you're right. We we do want to do this, we want to do it for some level of payment to be able to live our lives, and we're providing significant value for the others. But for me, it's much more in looking at the value that I've been able to put back into someone and to help them and to help others, and even even help my children. I have three girls and being able to pour back into them. So part of it is how can I build a legacy that that, hey, these are the things that I did, and okay, hey, while my dream may have been to be the next Zig Ziggler and and speaking all the time, that may never happen. That's fine. But if there's people out there that say, Wow, I'm different and I'm in a different place because Darren Newbold worked with me and we made these changes, and I can lead those changes back to meeting him and working with him, that's yeah, that's the huge piece.

Jennifer Loehding:

It's so great when I asked this question. I haven't asked it in a while. I'm glad I asked you that. But it it's so fun because I feel like we a lot of us say the same thing in different words, and it's so weird how, you know, as you age, your your success meter changes, basically, right? It's like I was telling someone, you know, it's like uh when I was younger, you know, I would do things because I wanted to get some money and I'd be like scrambling to do something, and I would just do it. And now I'm like, okay, listen, if you're gonna make me drive all the way down there for that, no, we ain't doing it. We just ain't doing it. It's not worth it.

Darin Newbold:

You make different choices, you definitely make different choices.

Jennifer Loehding:

You make different choices, you value your time and your worth, and and you know you're what you're bringing to the table, so you think and operate differently, you know, and I think that's such a good feeling when you get to a place. It's like even now I'm trying to build out this, you know, this pet sitting business. I've told you all this, and it's so funny because I have to think about the type of clients we want to bring in and and the and who the sitters are that we want. I've got both, I've got the clients and the sitters, but I want to make sure we have good sitters and we have good clients. And I'm trying to tell them about pricing and how we don't want to be low priced, we want to be on point with everybody, but we have value. And if we're if we're doing services for low and we're running all over the place and giving this, what's that say about us? You know, like what does that say when we show up? You know, and so um I think yeah, we just you make different choices and you and you operate differently. But I love that. I think creating impact is important and leaving a legacy is is what we really at the end of the day, what we're really I think most most of us is are striving for.

Darin Newbold:

That's what we're looking for. You know, so it's leaving leaving that legacy behind and and being able to I don't know, the the thing for me is is is I can look back and look back, even though it was this meandering path with my coach, I can look back and say, hey, changes started to happen. Because I went to him and basically said, Hey, I don't know who I am. So help me, help me, help me find myself. Yeah, well, yeah. That's not a that's not a uh a small task. I'll find you. Yeah, I so so anyway, that was the journey.

Jennifer Loehding:

Yeah, yeah.

Darin Newbold:

So you talk about your coach, any other, you know, like when you we I would have to talk about mentors or books, is there anything else than you're you I'm sure there's a lot, we've probably got a lot like me, but any specific person, book, podcast, anything that you feel like really helped influence and shape the work and I think uh my passion started and and I told this story briefly, very briefly on LinkedIn as kind of my origin story, but it goes back to to a girl. A uh a redheaded girl uh that was in high school, and she was a year older than I was, and I wanted to ask I wanted to ask her out. And I was a scaredy cat, and she worked it back in the day. This was before uh uh some of the the booksellers, and definitely before Amazon, there was a B. Daltons, if you remember. I remember B.

Jennifer Loehding:

Daltons, yes, I remember B. Daltons.

Darin Newbold:

And she worked there, and I like to go there looking at books. Well, I walked around this small store. This was it, I was living in Kansas, so it was a much smaller store. Walked around it, I don't know, probably a dozen times, slowly looking at books, waiting for the moment because she was at the cash register. And as I was doing this, I uh I finally grabbed a book and I finally got the the whatever courage to ask her. So after all this time of walking around, I finally asked her, I was like, hey, I mean, any chance you go out next, you know, whatever.

Jennifer Loehding:

Yeah.

Darin Newbold:

And you know, she smiled and she kind of you know chuckled just a little bit, but then she said, Man, I, you know, I would have, but um I'm already going out with somebody else.

Jennifer Loehding:

And I'm like, Yep.

Darin Newbold:

And the book, yeah, so I wiped out, and but the book that I picked up was uh Success Through a Positive Mental Attitude.

Jennifer Loehding:

Interesting. Wow.

Darin Newbold:

And that's the book that kind of started it, and I really just I got into that, and I then became a big fan of Tony Robbins and and all of the things that that he's done and followed a lot of it. I've been to went to one of his um events and just it became became a passion. I was constantly reading Brian Tracy, Zig Ziggler, all of the the older greats and and and those kind of things. And that's that's what really kind of set the foundation. And and for me, I did that pretty young. Obviously, high school.

Jennifer Loehding:

I know that's what's going through my mind right now. It's like I was not doing that at that. No.

Darin Newbold:

And so I'll tell you what kind of happened is is is good good comment from someone, wow, Darren, you're really, you know, so much more mature and you're really ahead of your game. And it was in that moment that I I took that a little bit too much to heart. And sadly, it poisoned me a little bit to the point where I got a little cocky and thought I knew it all.

Jennifer Loehding:

Okay.

Darin Newbold:

Oh, I don't need that. And then, and then kind of a this is uh uh self-vulnerability here for an Enneagram seven, but sevens uh have a tendency sometimes to be a little selfish and a little bit uh uh basically feeling that hey, they're owed these things. Yeah, and I got to that. And well, that's all well and good until you're in a sales job. And if you can't sell stuff, suddenly they say, Well, goodbye. Yeah, see ya, don't let the door hit you in the behind. Yeah, and yeah, got away, got some wake-up calls. So those that's you now have this bit of the origin story, at least the story of it.

Jennifer Loehding:

This is so good.

Darin Newbold:

Is those are the things that happened. And it was recognizing that, hey, it doesn't matter how much knowledge and how much, wow, how mature you appeared at this stage, it is still the things that you're doing, and it's it's the actions that you're taking, the words that you're saying, how you're doing it, but what are you accomplishing and and what are you doing in the ways for other people?

Jennifer Loehding:

Yeah. Darin, thank you for sharing that story. That's the story. Thank you for sharing that story. I know that probably wasn't, and that's good. I I think it's so funny when you hear stories like that, you know, like it's like something that happened to you when you were young, and you don't even really realize how much impact that had, you know, how that's like changed the whole trajectory of your life, like the difference, you know. Like I think about weird stories that happened to me too. And and in that moment, how maybe bad they were at that time, but how they really influenced a lot of what I am doing today. And we're talking years later, because obviously, you know, I'm impressed that you were doing all that stuff at that age, because Jennifer was not touching any of that at that age. I don't even know what I was doing. I was probably getting in trouble, who knows? But I wasn't doing that.

Darin Newbold:

But yeah, and yet, and yet you look at the story and you look at the the journey. And it is a journey, and there's the ups and downs. Yeah. Um but hey, if we do this again sometime, you can ask me about uh being being about two to three weeks from adulthood, late forties ish of having to move back to with my parents.

Jennifer Loehding:

Oh goodness, that we we're gonna have to do that. We don't have time for that.

Darin Newbold:

That's that's the second half of this of this journey.

Jennifer Loehding:

My sister had to do that for a little while, went through uh that's a whole we need to have a whole conversation on that because we might have some crazy stories to talk about both of those. So we'll have to do this.

Darin Newbold:

But I didn't but it was very humbling. Yeah, yeah, that's and that was the the kind of the ripping off of the proverbial hey, there is no entitlement, you earn it all, you've got to do it. It's on you. Yeah, it's all you and for this Enneagram 7, it was like, you know, yeah, as I like to say, Hory shit, Batman. Just not being more funny.

Jennifer Loehding:

Well, you're doing good stuff, Darin. Stay at it, keep doing it. And you know, I was I always say the same thing. I hate that people have to go through the journeys to get where they are, but it is those journeys that teach the lessons that get you to where you are. You have to. And you and that's the only way you can teach other people is when you walk through the fire yourself. Literally, walk through that fire. You've done it three times and jumped out of a plane, you said. I had a professional skydiver I interviewed a few weeks ago. I'll be releasing his like world records. I told him, I'm like, that is not anything nothing on my bucket list. I ain't jumping out of any planes, Darin. We ain't doing it. So, Darin, if our listeners want to get in touch with you, they want to learn more about any grand purpose factor, where do they find you?

Darin Newbold:

LinkedIn is probably the best. Darin, Darin Newbold, you'll find me on there. Okay. Uh, not a lot of newbolds out there. Uh my website is your boldsolutions.com. Okay. So those are the two places, but LinkedIn is is really the best place.

Jennifer Loehding:

Okay. We'll make sure when this gets all get the bells and whistles on, we'll get in the show notes wherever they need to find you at and all that good stuff. So we appreciate you. Thank you for your time today. Thanks for showing up at the meeting place and hanging out with us today and sharing your journey.

Darin Newbold:

This is awesome. I've been looking forward to it.

Jennifer Loehding:

It's fun. We have fun here. All right. Well, I do want to say, of course, to our listeners, we appreciate you and you know what to do. We hope if this episode's inspiring, informative. Hopefully it is. Share it, like, subscribe, do all the things, comment. And um, as I always say, in order to live the extraordinary, must start. And every start begins with a decision. You guys take care, be safe, be kind to one another. We will see you next time.

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Jennifer Loehding

Host
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Darin Newbold

Guest