Starter Girlz Podcast

Why Your Story Matters as Much as Your Strategy – Stephen Seidel, TEDx Speaker & Brand Strategist

• Jennifer Loehding • Season 7 • Episode 108

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In today’s episode, we dive deep into the power of authentic storytelling with TEDx speaker, creator, and brand strategist Stephen Seidel, a former engineer who rebuilt his entire career by discovering the creative force behind his story.

Stephen demonstrates how his experiences, shaped by both logic and creativity, helped him build a brand rooted in truth, connection, and authenticity—and why human stories often outperform rigid strategies in today’s crowded digital world.

If you've ever wondered how your story shapes your brand, why storytelling is more powerful than marketing tactics alone, or how to blend purpose with strategy… this conversation is for you.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

✅ Why your story matters more than traditional marketing
✅ The balance of storytelling vs strategy in branding
✅ How to use your personal experiences to build trust
✅ What engineers can teach us about creative marketing
✅ How to build your story in a way that grows your business
✅ How authenticity elevates your brand and creates deeper connections
✅ Why vulnerability is one of the strongest tools in marketing
✅ The power of community, empathy, and real human messaging
✅ The power of human connection in branding and leadership
✅ How storytelling can connect with audiences authentically
✅ Insights from Stephen’s journey for entrepreneurs and leaders

Why You Should Watch:

If you want to stand out online, this episode will help you understand the importance of authentic storytelling, leverage your experiences to build trust, and create a brand that feels human, magnetic, and trustworthy.

Connect with Stephen Seidel

🌐 Website: https://stephenseidel.com/

Connect with Starter Girlz Podcast

🌐 Website: https://startergirlz.com

🙌 Partner: Walt Mills Productions

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Subscribe to the Starter Girlz Podcast for bold, inspiring conversations that fuel your personal and professional growth. Don’t forget to like, share, and leave a review — your support helps spread these stories further.

Want to be a guest on Starter Girlz Podcast? Send Jennifer Loehding a message on PodMatch, here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/17044863446695017c1879d7b

SPEAKER_02:

Welcome to the Starter Girls Podcast, your ultimate source of inspiration and empowerment. We're here to help women succeed in every area of their lives: career, money, relationships, and health and well-being. While celebrating the remarkable journeys of individuals from all walks of life who've achieved amazing things. Whether you're looking to supercharge your career, build financial independence, nurture meaningful relationships, or enhance your overall well-being, the Starter Girls Podcast is here to guide you. Join us as we explore the journeys of those who dare to dream big and achieve greatness. I'm your host, Jennifer Loading, and welcome to this episode. Welcome to another episode of the Starter Girls Podcast. I am your host, Jennifer Loading, and wherever you are tuning in today, we are so glad to have you. All right, so here we are. It's a Monday morning, another episode of Starter Girls Podcast. Have an amazing guest on the show today. So excited to chat with him. Um, I just think this is gonna be a great show. Um, so let me just kind of open up with this today. What happens when an engineer turned actor decides to rewrite the script, not just for himself, but for how we lead, connect, and tell our stories. This week's guest knows that authenticity isn't just a buzzword, it's the secret to building cultures that last and brands that breathe. And so I am so excited to chat with him. I think this is gonna be so much fun. Um, before I do bring him on, I do need to do a quick shout out to our sponsor. This episode is brought to you by Walt Mills Productions. Need to add excitement to your YouTube videos or some expert hands for editing? Look no further. Walt Mills is the solution you've been searching for. Walt is not only your go-to guy for spicing up content, he's the force behind a thriving film production company with numerous titles in the pipeline. Always on the lookout for raw talent, Walt is eager to collaborate on film and internet productions. With a background deeply rooted in entertainment and promotion, Walt Mills leverages years of skills to give you the spotlight you deserve. Want to learn more about Walt and his work? Head on over to Walt Mills Productions.net and let your content shine. All right. And with that, I do want to make a mention to head on over to startergirls.com. And I tell you this every single week. And why? Because if you have missed any of our episodes, you can catch up on them there. You can also sign up for our newsletter and be in the know so that you'll know what's coming out, what we've got going on. And then, of course, if you are an aspiring opera, excuse me, aspiring entrepreneur, creator, maybe you're the thick of it. I don't know where you're at. Uh, and you want to find out what your number one success block is that may be hindering your success. Well, I've got you covered. We've got a two-minute quiz over there that I created that you can take and it will tell you what might be blocking your success. So, as I always say, head on over to startergirls.com and do whatever you need to do. All right, let's get our guest on today. So, Steven Seidel is a TEDx keynote speaker, media expert, and brand strategist who helps entrepreneurs, startups, and HR leaders drive cultural alignment and authentic leadership. As founder of the award-winning Seidel Agency and coach to change makers, he draws on 25 years in PR, media, and marketing to help leaders rewrite their stories, leveraging connection as currency. A best-selling author, podcast creator, and co-founder of the men's collective Gent's Journey. Steven blends humor, heart, and actionable tools to inspire resilient teams and lasting change. All right, Steven. So welcome to the show. I'm so excited to chat with you today.

SPEAKER_00:

Me too. Thank you so much for having me, Jennifer. That upon hearing my bio, it's like I gotta shorten that a little bit. Sorry to go on with a big long bar bot bio, but hopefully we can have a wonderful discussion today.

SPEAKER_02:

Hey, you know what? Don't worry about the bio. That's the best part of the show. Yeah. I think they're great. Yeah, that's my favorite part.

SPEAKER_00:

Cool.

SPEAKER_02:

We get to kind of shine a light on who you are. And I always tell people it sort of kinds of sets the stage. Then people know who we're talking to and what your background is and all that good stuff. And I know, you know, as a listener, like I love stories and I love knowing people's backgrounds. So for me, it's cool when I kind of even like when I when I you know told you I was going back and looking through all your notes, I'm like, hey, this is kind of a fun story because you bring a different edge to this whole thing. And I think it's kind of cool to know that. So yeah, it's all good.

SPEAKER_00:

I appreciate that. It's it's an honor to be here. And for the starter girls and the uh audiences out there, men, female, whatever, you know, I'm happy to share a little bit more about you know how I came through my career. Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay, well, let's start this off because I want to talk about you know your your agency, what sets you apart, what makes you different. And we're gonna kind of dive into how we got to this place. But I want to start right there because I think this is an important piece. Let's talk about this branding. You know, like what makes you different, why this is important.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, so I think at the end of the day, when people say what makes you different, it always comes back to us, right? You, unique. Look at the spelling of unique, it's unique. And so one of the things that I bring to the table, um, I've lived a very robust life. I feel like anytime I've sort of set my mind to something, I was able to achieve it. I think resilience is key. And so for me, I started out in engineering. My parents suggested, hey, you're good at science and math. And then I was an engineer, I made microprocessing chips for Motorola. So Six Sigma, if you've ever heard of different ways that companies function, they created Six Sigma philosophy. It has a lot to do with manufacturing and making sure that you're functioning at an optimal level. But I felt a little bit stifled because I had this need to create. And so I wanted to partner my left brain with my right brain, and I essentially left engineering. I was laid off. You know, that facilitated, that greased the wheels a little bit. And then I started to pursue entertainment and learn a little bit more about creativity, storytelling, how to express ourselves. And so eventually I came to create my own agency. Our first client was an eight-figure acquisition. Uh, it was a company called Mira Dry. They were acquired by Centra. But what I brought to the table was a different approach. They had a really sales-oriented uh team that was all about numbers, all about driving revenue. And what we really wanted to dive in was the experience, was the story behind it all. How can we connect to the audience? And so, what I testified try to do with our agency, and it's worked well, we've worked for Coca-Cola, Amazon, you name it, is how can we set up a win-win-win? And so when we work forward, we start much like Simon Sinek, he says start with why, but we start with your mission, and then ultimately we want to bring you to a movement because we want people to vote with their dollar. We want them to vote with their clicks. Time is money, right? So whatever we can do to ensure that your audience is fully invested in you, that's what we're going to do. So we start with mission, then we go into your message, then we work towards your media and marketing. Oftentimes people flip it and throw the marketing out there first. Uh, there's a really great blog, uh 1000 Fans by Kevin Kelly. Highly suggest that you read that. But ultimately, we want to build a movement. And so for us, we're looking for that win-win-win for your company, for your community, and then consumer. Disney would get mad at me. I did the college program, and they like to call the consumer the guest so that they feel like they're part of the experience. That's essentially how we structure it.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah. No, I think this is good. I have so many things to add to all of this. Um I yes, I agree with you because you know, one of the things in all the years that I was in Mary Kay, we always talk, used to talk about how like stories sell, and we would always lead with, and that's probably why when you hear when you came on, you heard me do the bio, because in Mary Kay, we always led with stories and we always did accolades. We always talked about what people had because we were trying to connect with the people that were in the audience. And so even when we would go do presentations, I always had great stories, especially like when I was in the healthcare space, because I always had something to talk about. And I could connect with people, right? And then people would get excited because they could make that connection. And so I agree with you. I'm not even in that space, but I know having been in a space where you're trying to build brands and stuff, you you do have to work on, you know, connecting with that audience. And so I think that what your whole-driven thing, and I love that you said the guest, because it's funny that we're talking about this because I just had this conversation with my people. I, you know, I run a networking group here with um some other friends here. And one of the things I was talking about is how we drive, you know, in order for this to thrive, we've got to get people involved. We got to get people feeling important, feeling a part of something. They got to be included. And, you know, so I'm trying to, you know, I'm coming up with all of these ideas and stuff because it everything's driven by experiences, right? I believe that. And even if you think about going to, you know, dining or anything, if your experience is bad, you remember a bad experience and you remember a really good one too. So I feel like all of this is really about how we create those experiences for people and tell stories and connect.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, Michael Cain used to say, so I he has a really great biography. You can learn a lot about individuals, learning their life story and really what they've taken from that. As an actor, he would always say, Look, I'm not holding up a window and saying, Look at me, I'm holding up a mirror and say, looking, look at you. And so for me, it's all about mirroring and making sure that we're giving the audience or the individuals or whoever you're working with what they want. Especially, you know, I've I learned I learned something major when I started my agency. We started working in aesthetic medicine. So I created this course. We were doing really well on social media, and I said, Look, we're gonna create a course. And so I created this course, and then I said, Here you are, here you go, without actually having people involved in that process. So that was a huge learning opportunity for me. Obviously, for me, just for the starter girls, you just need to start, right? Start when you start something, it brings you momentum. I learned a lot from that. Had I sat there and said, Oh, I'm gonna maybe create a course and then never did it, then I probably wouldn't have learned a lot of what I did from there. But for people out there that are experts of building that authentic brand, there are a lot of courses. There's a lot of individuals on Substack finding ways to leverage their expertise and sending out emails. We do that with my men's group. But one part about that when you talk about experience and including them is do one lesson and have a group of individuals weigh in on them, ask them what they like, what landed, what didn't land, and then build your next lesson. And then you can build the bridge or build the ship as you go, as opposed to just building it and then throwing it out there, like I talked about earlier. People throw it out there from a marketing perspective, and then it's crickets. But if you're building it as you go or you have people involved in your process, then they become your ambassadors. And that's really what we try to do with organizations, is how can we find these really authentic ambassadors, whether or not they're influencers that are already creating content in and around what you're doing? That's why native ads are hugely successful and making sure that you align with them so that you can elevate your voice, elevate your brand, and get them on the highest stages.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, no, and that's good. And I think there's real vulnerability in that, right? Because you're right so many times, and even I've gone through that and I'm and I've learned that sometimes the messy is okay because the messy brings them in and they buy in, right? Like to that, and then they see you're human, right? In the process of that. So it's like you're creating and you're okay. I've gotten in a place now where, like, you know, I've I feel like I've gone in that space where I've like everything had to be perfect, and I'm like, I don't want to do that. And then I've gotten in the space where it's like, you know what? It's okay that it's messy. We're just gonna get started, we're gonna figure this out, and we're gonna bring people in and let them look at that. And you know, and so I I hear what you're saying when you say that, because we do so often think everything has to be like perfect in this space. Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_00:

I still think it it definitely pays to be prepared. Don't get me wrong. You need to know your concept in and out and be an expert, but you don't know exactly what they are seeking or how it may land on them. And so everything in life is a two-way conversation. And so too often when we work with clients and we're creating social media, they'll be like, okay, I want to do this, I want to do some infographics, I want to do a video, but we don't really know what's gonna resonate. Right. And so that's where you know, with our men's group, um, Gen's journey, we're we're putting content out, seeing how it lands and trying different things, whether or not it's you know, uh selfie videos or walk and talks. You'll see a lot of ads on Instagram where people are walking in nature in a car or random places because that triggers you to like, hey, what are they up to? Or, you know, when creating a thumbnail, it's mid-conversation. But I talk a lot in my TEDx tech, TEDx talk, I'm sorry, about you know, turning pain into purpose or taking your mess into your message. And like you talked about, being mess, messy or open and vulnerable. At the end of the day, that's really what we resonate, especially as technology begins to rise and we don't know what's real and what's fake. We want somebody that has you know recognizable issues that you can relate to or flaws or talk about your most embarrassing moment, or you know, something happening, you have ketchup on your shirt.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

If you were watching an AI instructive video, you would never see ketchup on the shirt. So these are different ways where you can essentially gain the system. Um, even there's there's a really cool hack where oftentimes you can do part two on your blog and you never even have a part one. And then people, if they come back and ask about where's part one, you're like, oh, okay, I have a client that is invested in me and I can deliver them something of value. And so just testing with certain things to be able to gauge the audience, see where they're at, and create that two-way conversation so that you can really deliver something of value that they have demonstrated that there's an interest in.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, yeah. And so who would you say I uh is there kind of a certain type of client, like that's the best client? Because it feels I feel like to me, you've got to have an open-minded client, like somebody who's willing to be like, I'm okay trying different things, right? Because you really, like you've been saying kind of over and over, is you've got to see what sticks, so to speak. You've got to, you know, put your foot out there and because what may work for one person may not necessarily work for the same brand, you know?

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I think for in terms of clients, we like to work with individuals that are willing to expose their story and to rewrite their story. So there's the story we're telling ourselves, yeah, whether we're not good enough or we have limiting beliefs, or we had a client who uh she started her own noodle shop and she didn't want to talk about growing up in China and all the previous history and how she was a finance major and then started this noodle shop. But that's really where the true gold lie or or was that was the fact that we were able to say, look, you're just like everybody else. You're working a job where you weren't satisfied and you had this burning passion, but it came from when you were younger, which is when a lot of these things do begin to take shape, the vulnerable child within us. So oftentimes we shun that child and pushed it away, and society never hears about it. But she was able to embrace that story of learning how to cook in China, and then she essentially moved to the to the States. She married a close friend of mine. We were actors together. And so when I talk about connection as currency, the more that you can connect to you, your calling, that you can connect to your company, the company around you and your community, the people that you work with, the more it's going to benefit. And so by me connecting with him, he knew that this was the work that I was doing. And eventually we cracked the code where she was able to share. I say crack the code, but at the end of the day, she was able to embrace the story that she was telling herself. And that would that was limiting her. And so not only were we able to get her PR and exposure and all that, we were actually able to get her a video with a gentleman by the name of Eric Jang. He does really amazing videos in New York City, and it's basically like therapy on the streets. And at which point she opened up to being bullied, and a lot of her past, previous history of things that have happened to her, she was mistreated, and that impacted who she was and and how and how far she felt that she could succeed. And so by getting through that, she was able to share that story. And then we ultimately put her on, you know, NB, uh, I think it was uh it was Fox in New York City. It was a five-minute segment. But they shared her journey of cooking as a child in China and becoming an immigrant and you know, going to finance, not being fulfilled, having her own children, passing it on, starting to make noodles for him. And that was the story that really gravitated towards the audiences because everybody's wanting to live the American dream. Everybody's stuck in a job that maybe they don't want I shouldn't say everybody, but there are people that are stuck in jobs that they don't like. We all have children where we want to bond with them. So finding that through line was really essential. And so when we talk about ideal clients, we want somebody that has a business or an organization that is actually delivering good. We want to give back. We want them to be socially conscious. Our mission is to do good, give back, and make an impact. We started in health and wellness, as I I think I talked earlier. We branched into food and beverage because we want to be mindful of everything that we're putting into our minds and our bodies.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

So part of that is health and wellness, part of that is food, nutrition, what are those things? And then in addition to that, we work in technology. I'm an engineer. That also has to do with what are we putting into our mind? Are we being bombarded with notification? What are ways that we can actually elevate uh our local communities with what it is that we do? And so when we look at that, we need to have somebody that is at the front of the ship for your company or your organization that is willing to stand up at the bow to share their story. We want to make sure that's in alignment with your company. And also make sure that that leader is open and vulnerable and is able to acknowledge that they have faults because that's going to connect with their team. That's also going to connect with as you uh the audiences when you build your company.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I love it. I and you know what I really like about your work too is that you've you've integrated these because I feel like it's a lot of what I'm trying to do and in mind too. There's this integration of it's not just this one thing. Like you talked about like the health and wellness coming in, and then you had the technology piece. And and I I like this integration because I I think it's holistic in nature. You know what I mean? It's kind of like when you look at like and and and that goes back. I mean, my story is so crazy messy. And when I go back to the beginning and I tell people my segue into the work that I do was it was a health thing. I had weird nerve condition brought me into this space, and I didn't had no idea that that was going to be the floodgate or the door opening for me to go through all this other stuff. And and what I realized in through all that journey, this has been going on. I I tell people I was in Mary Kay for 22 years. So it probably started the day I went into Mary Kay the first time back in '96, seven, whenever I joined. That's probably when it started. But it was in 2012 when I had this big crisis come up that forced me to have to, I don't even know what you call it, just go inward and start investigating everything I knew about everything. And so what happened in the aftermath, you know, when all that, I say aftermath because I think it's continual. I don't think we stopped, we stopped growing. But it what I realize is what you were just talking about, you know, everything that we're doing isn't just about the thing we're doing. So if we're running a business, it's not just about running the business. In order to run the business effectively, we've got to be well in all the areas. We've got to be, we've got to be solid in mind and body, right? And then that opens up the door to what are we eating? How much sleep are we getting? What are we consuming? Who are the people that we're hanging around? Like all of these things. And so that's why, you know, even when I crafted this show in the very beginning, the brand, if you go back to the original show, you're gonna hear the tagline says whether you're starting a business, a brand, or a movement, we're here to talk about it because that's what it was about originally. That's still that's part of it, but now it's much deeper than that. Now it's like, how am I helping people thrive in work and life? And right, and so that's why I talk about all that I have the four segments. I have the health, the relationships, the career, and the money. Because I believe in order for us to thrive, right, to be feeling well, we we've obviously got to be giving back and growing. But if we're working on all of these areas, then we're probably starting to move in that direction. And so um, it's evolved. That's what I'm trying to tell you.

SPEAKER_00:

And and uh and it mostly evolved because of the journey that I've been going through and the knowledge that I've gained and the awareness and just the um the the personal growth that you know, working through my own demons and um yeah, and I think when you're when you're working with, so we've worked with uh Coca-Cola, we've done campaigns with Coca-Cola and Six Flags, and they're like so that's a partnership campaign. When you're working in that realm, they simply have certain initiatives that they already worked with, right? For for me as an organization, I'm boutique, I run a boutique agency, this ideal agency, and then I also do coaching. So typically we're wanting to work with somebody that has five to fifty employees, you know, they're making you know, eight, eight figures, seven, eight figures, and then they have the resources available so that they can lean in on that. And just like you talked about, with some of these major moments, I think a lot of what we deal with, there's there's there's something going on, right? That whether or not you mentioned at the top of the show, you feel stuck. Or what like I talked about in my TEDx talk, uh growing through grief, there's a loss at place. Maybe it's a loss of a job, maybe there's a loss of you know an individual or uh a coworker, or there's a client that you've lost, but there's a moment that we really need to work through. And what we go through, we grow through. And so for me, I started to notice that a lot of the older generations of people in the C-suite were you know men. And so, me at being a male, I wanted to find ways that I could tap more into the vulnerability or the bond of brothers, if you will. And so when I lost my mom uh to cancer about five years ago, I relocated my job, and so I had a new job, all my employees are virtual. I was at a new place with no friends, I had a one-year-old uh just bought a brand new uh house, we were stuck in an apartment, and my mom was diagnosed with cancer. So that was the most challenging moment for me in my life, and I look at what was I supposed to do. So I created this group, it was called Gent's Journey with other growth-minded friends that were entrepreneurs because I needed a safe space. And so I could envision that there were a lot of other business owners out there that struggle on a day-to-day basis. You come into work, you don't want to talk about you know, losing your mom or having a battle with cancer or health issues like you described, or you know, you can't talk to your wife, your family members because they're too busy dealing with it, or you know, they're just don't have the bandwidth because they deal with everything else. So I saw a need, I saw that there was a limited number of tools from a mental health perspective for men, especially caretaking men, but just that in general, if you go into Barnes and Noble, you see a lot of books for the expected mother, and you know, sure. Not so much from a male perspective. So we created an organization, it's called Gent's Journey, and you talked about the individual pillars. We have the seven pillars of manhood, manhood or masculinity, how you want to describe it. Sure. It's changed a lot from our fathers, they're very set in their ways, one job. Now there's technology, different jobs, you know, switching of careers. So we focus on friendship, family, fun, focus, fitness, freedom, and faith. I love alliterations and I love actor names, as you heard earlier. So those were individual areas. So as I still run my organization, I run into other gentlemen who are running corporations that have a tough time. And so we invite them. Or if you're starting your own company as an entrepreneur and you're and you have, you know, problems or people that you want to bounce ideas out of. That's what we created the Gents Journey for.

SPEAKER_02:

I love that. I love that. And I think community is important. So I really like that's one of the things, you know, in all the years I do say this, you know, all the years I was in Mary Kay, I think I underestimated the importance of the community in that because, you know, I was so we I did it, I just did it for so long. I got used to it, and we were building teams, and that's one of the things I always tell people. And as you know, I think a lot of people stay in Mary Kay because of the culture. It's really about what that, you know, not everybody in there is making a ton of money. A lot of those people are just there because they love the community and the culture of it, you know. And so being out here in the networking, and that's kind of one of the reasons why I wanted to do this whole networking thing, is because I wanted to create a community. And so I think it's important. Um, yeah, I I do. I miss that part of the Mary Kay, you know, where I had somebody that I had to be accountable to, and then I had people that had to be, you know, accountable to me in that in that respect. Not to say I'm not building other communities, but that was something that, you know, I think I kind of took for granted at the time. So love that you're doing that. Love the love the seven pillars. I think they're important and um they're all good. And and I hope that everybody's thriving, you know, hopefully finding some value and thriving in that.

SPEAKER_00:

For sure. And one of the things that we talk a lot about is going from good to great. And so for great, we want to be grateful, reflective, empathetic, accountable, like you talked about, and transformational. And I think, you know, we often have these shifts that we can do in our mind that we often, you know, don't even overlook to even for something as simple as just taking a moment like that and coming back to our breath and realizing our breath is working for us, our heart beats without us even doing it. And there's all these things that are conspiring for us to be where we're at. And we often overlook that or you know, place more power on you know these problems that are so subjective. And so um, one of the things that I wanted to ask is we have this cool card deck that we've created for Jets Journey, yeah. Which Tony Robbins talks a lot about, you know, if you want to be successful and you're not successful, maybe you're asking the wrong questions. But over five years of our meetings, we've taken the key questions that have come out of the our meetings and put them into a card deck so that other people can connect and they can go deeper and learn more about each other so that they can get that connection, this currency and help them. But I'd love to see um one of the exercises we talk about is what did you want to be when you grew up? For me, I wanted to be a magician, and so we talk about trying to find ways to put those little fun jobs that you might have pushed away back into your this is my version of being magician with my card deck here. Tell me when to stop.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay, um, let's stop.

SPEAKER_00:

Okay. So I call myself a magician, but really the magic is in your story and in your answer.

unknown:

Okay.

SPEAKER_00:

So the qu the card that you got is what are you fighting for?

SPEAKER_01:

What are you fighting for? Oh, that's a good one. Ow. I I feel I think to it goes back to what I'm doing, probably to give people hope.

SPEAKER_03:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

That they can turn to they can they can do anything that they want to do and turn their life around in any way, they just have to make a different choice.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, that's great. I mean, I'm the same way. That's why I'm honored to be a part of your podcast. Yeah. I'm fighting for people to achieve their dreams in life and and to realize that happiness is not a result of you know an item or a thing. Happiness can be found right here, right now, if you simply make the choice. I do a weekly group with Pat Croce, he's the former owner of a Sixers. Um, it's a meditation group where it's all about just like living in the moment. Whoever you believe in, God, the universe, Buddha, whatever, but he talks a lot about stand up and take a step towards yourself. Like you can't do that, but it's simply like you talk about going in.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Empowering yourself and loving yourself so that you can love all those around you.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, no, this is so good. And it's and it's interesting because all of these things you're talking about. It's like the other day I put a um, I took a clip because a lot of the work, I'm I'm lazy. So I do a lot, take a lot of my just podcast clips because that's easy because I'm not a big I have somebody who kind of helps me with some of social media stuff. I'm just not a big fan of social media. And so I but I love doing these interviews. This, I like I can do this all day long, just this. I don't want to do anything beyond that.

SPEAKER_00:

Believe me, I know it's so much fun. You learn so much, you meet amazing people.

SPEAKER_02:

I just want to have the conversations, right? And I'm okay putting up. You ever do the rest of whatever? Okay. So the other day I put a I took a clip where I was talking about, um, I can't remember what the piece was that I was talking about, but I ended up putting in, I said, I'm gonna tell you a story, and I added something in there talking about in it in just very clip of an early part of my life where I was in an abusive relationship, very short marriage, that I don't really talk about. Like it's kind of like you were telling the story about that woman in the beginning. I don't really talk about this because I don't, it was so long ago that I've sort of I've moved on from it, but I realized that all of the things that have happened in my life, this was part of the journey that I've gone through. All of the choices that I've made have sort of been this layer of things. And I and I tell people a lot of it has been this coming to realizing my worth and being okay with having boundaries and saying no and not letting people take advantage of me. Which people look at me now and they're like, okay, she's kind of mean, you know, because well, I'm older now, okay? I've worked through a lot of that garbage and I know my work. But my point to this is I put this clip out the other day and I started that off. You can go back, it's in my, it's in my LinkedIn. I started off with this at the beginning, and then I almost, you don't know how many times when I put that out the other day, Steven, I was like, I'm deleting that. I'm just gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna take it off. I you don't know how many times I opened it up and I just and then I was like, no, just leave it alone. You already put it out there because it's an authenticity, right? It's a vulnerability of putting that stuff out there. But I but every time I start to pull back on that, that's like the head stuff I go through. I go, okay, nobody cares about this. But then I think my job, the thing that I do, the work that I do every day, I don't care about like nothing I do, I even care about money most of the time. I just do it because I feel passionate about I I my my objective every day is like if somebody can shorten the learning curve, they don't have to go through all the crap I had to go. They don't have to go through all that the debt, the bad relationship, the abuse, or go through all the dumb mistakes I've made, just all of the hassles. And maybe I can shorten that curve for them. That's really what I do. That's why I do what I do because I'm just passionate about helping people. And maybe for some selfish reason, it makes my world a little better place if you're happy. You know, it makes us all happier, you know, if for some selfish reason. But I think about that, I put that out, and you know, and every time I start to do that, My my head stuff will go, don't do that because nobody cares. And then I think, no, your job is to inspire people. And this is how you people connect. And when they know these things, then they can say, okay, maybe this is a story that there's a piece of that this that resonates or whatever, you know? And so I guess what I'm saying is it's even just like what you said about that lady in the beginning. I listen to that and think, okay, yeah, there's power in this and this whole storytelling and this authenticity and being real and um.

SPEAKER_00:

I think honoring, and and I did it as well. And when we started, I'm recovering people, please. I say it all the time. First thing I said in this podcast was, I'm sorry that my bio is long. And so it's bad. That's yeah, right. So it's a uh so it's a work in progress, and these things pop up, but we're all human, we're all, you know, yeah, that's who we are. And so for our company, Gents Journey and my organization, we often ask, When was the last time you cried? And that was something that we shared on LinkedIn, and I felt like, oh man, that kind of feels out of out of out of ordinary. But for us, it's when you can test yourself, do these small micro moments of things that you don't want to do, as the moment you start putting on your brakes, that's where we want to lean in on it because that's where we need to move through, because clearly there's something holding us back. And if we can move forward and fail through that, that'll open up some uh opportunities. But for people who are running organizations um or that are listening, that you have a company, at the end of the day, what we're really just trying to focus in on, and this is just a small exercise to do that, is how can you be more open and more vulnerable and more uh honorable with your show with your story? So it's in lieu of saying, you know, you're a CEO of, let's say you're CEO of a startup, we worked with somebody, um, his name is Anthony Rhodes. I used to work with him at Z Box. He started the BBC I player. He has a new company, their client was called Seed Legals. So if there's a company out there that wants to raise money, that's the platform you should check out because they remove all the legal uh ramifications. So instead of having to raise$50,000 to$100,000 in legal fees, you could do it for about$10,000. Wow. But for somebody like him, he created the BBC I player and he was really he's a genius. He's like a uh master scientist. But when somebody's running that company, oftentimes they're introverted or they're focused on results, or you know, you're engineering and you have these accomplishments. But if you can humanize that brand or come a little bit further and talk about when you were younger, you know, you saw the first Steven Spielberg movie or ET and you knew. In that moment, when you saw ET and it didn't look real, you became visual effects artists. You know, different ways that you can really honor those stories that took shape to go back to what you were talking about. We can connect to those stories versus the analytical side of things of being like I've I've sold uh, for example, Seed Legals, they've done over six billion dollars in uh startup funding, which is great. Don't get me wrong, you need the left and the right to combine them. But if you talk about you know, that one startup that you've worked with who they tried for 20 different years and they, you know, what they had to sell their house. Look at Jesse from the Savannah Bananas. Yes, you watch Jesse from the Savannah Bananas. It's amazing. It's but it's he is the epitome of somebody that is leaning into his story. He talks about how he foreclosed his home, him and his wife, they had no money, he had this dream, he got turned away time and time again, which we will all be turned away. If you are a true entrepreneur, you're gonna see no every single day of your life. Right. So to me, it's focusing on that grit. And I I say grit, it's gratitude. Being thankful for the moments that you have, be thankful for the no's because that means you're one step closer to a yes. It's R, the resilience. You need to keep moving forward every single day and just start. You need to crawl before you walk, walk before you run. The I stands for integrity. Don't sacrifice who you are, who your brand is. Even that story in your head, the story is not you. And then lastly, is trust. At the end of the day, that's what we're building in this world of AI and automation. You need to build trust. And by building trust, that's how people can invest in you, whether like it's money to invest in your startup, or they're investing that one minute to watch your video on LinkedIn where you're talking about getting through some of these things and how it enables you to be a higher version of yourself.

SPEAKER_02:

Right. Yeah, no, that's good. Thank you. Yeah, and I think that sometimes we do we get shadowed by that. And I now as you're talking about this, because you know, I always feel like when we're on this podcast, our brains, and I don't know, you're for like me. I I'm gonna come back to your whole creator thing. Your brain is like pinging the whole time because I wanted to say this. I want to say this, and I'm thinking about something as you're saying it, and I'm like, oh, and they're yeah, this is my life every day, Stephen. Every time I'm like, my brain is always going.

SPEAKER_00:

Maybe a lot of the listeners too. So clearly we struggle a little bit with, you know, ADHD or some of the spiciness. And so when we could slow it down, that helps us.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, you know what? I will tell you one of the good things about doing a podcast, probably the, you know, in all the years, I joke about this all the time. I learned a lot of great things in Mary Kay about leadership and you know, and and patience and and building teams. But I will tell you, I have learned some of the best pausing skills in podcasting because I laugh when I go back and listen to some of the beginning podcast episodes because I'm like, damn, Jennifer, you ask a question, then you don't even let them answer because you're on to the next thing. You gotta And so I have learned that in the podcasting now I'm much calmer, much more collected, much more calm. But every now and then I'll get somebody on here that's a really high energy like me, and I call I say it's like a ping-pong match because it's like boom, boom, boom, boom, and you just know when you're with those people. Every time I come off, I'm really tired.

SPEAKER_00:

Do I fall in that category?

SPEAKER_02:

Um, almost, but I'm containing, I'm containing it. I'm containing it. Control it and we're at nine o'clock in the morning. If we if I have any more of these by the end of the day, I'm gonna be just tired for like the rest of the week. You know what I mean? It's all good. But I want to ask you something because you talk about go like when I was reading your stuff this morning. I'm like, okay, you got you you went to Penn State, you graduated with honors, so you are clearly not a stupid person here, okay? Engineering. Okay, I'm married to a chemical engineer. I know what it's like living with an engineer, you know. He's a little bit, he he told me when we first got married, he told me he was more whimsical than me. And I was like, that's interesting because I don't know if that's so much true anymore. But, anyways, I know what this is like. But to be able to segue from that and go into this creative space. And I want to say something to you because in all the years I was in Mary Kay, that was one of the things I felt stifled with is that I'm really good at the forward facing. So I was good at selling, I was good at telling stories. I'm good, I'm I'm good at getting people to do things and you know, all that. But I hated that I had this product that was somebody else's and I didn't even care about makeup, believe it or not. I put it on, but I've never been the girl that's like, oh my gosh, I gotta have this lipstick, this eye color, this cream. I find something I'm like, I don't care, you know, how if everybody else likes it, I use it and I'm okay with that. So here I am in this Mary Kay, you know, and I'm thinking, I was never really fully 100% like gung-ho about all the stuff. I liked the opportunity, the culture, all of that. And I could sell because women will like makeup and do that. But the entire time I was in it, I was like, man, I'm feeling stifled because I need to, I'm a creator. I'm I've always been. And even as a child, you will laugh. As a child, when we had cassette players, I used to in my room, this is late 70s, early 80s, I would take my boom box and I would pop a tape in there and I'd hit record, you had to hit two buttons, hit record, and I would record myself talking on my um.

SPEAKER_03:

I did it too. I did it.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, who would have known 40 years ago we would have podcasts and all these things that we're doing now? Who would have known, right? But we had radio back then, right? You know, and so I would record these things and and I laugh about all this now because everything I do, like I go to networking, like people, what are you doing? I'm like, okay, I have a pet sitting business that I do with my daughter that's that's we're building, it's doing pretty well. And I'm a creator and a coach. And I don't even like, I don't even care about the coaching so much. I just tell people like I'm a success architect. That's what I do. I love to create things and I love to help people live good lives. But I I think the thing I'm trying to get at is that that creator, even though I was, you know, I went to school to study accounting and then I went into marketing, and then here I end up doing like I'm not even in, I don't even like accounting. I don't even want to touch that stuff. I don't like all those details, don't like all that stuff, and everything I do now is in the creating space.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

So I think it's interesting. My point, I guess my whole point to this is it's interesting to me that you went made this segue, but you did this acting and this producing stuff in the middle that I think sort of was kind of your your segue.

SPEAKER_00:

Definitely, and thank you for acknowledging that. And so to me, I I always had this innate ability to tell a story and to want to connect because I grew up with my parents. I go back to our childhood. My parents divorced when I was one, and so this is what I think for a lot of us, if we go back to the beginning, and that's where we do all the therapy and all that, it becomes ingrained in our subconscious and sometimes in our consciousness. They divorced and I became a people pleaser. So I understood that I was in the middle, and I wanted to connect my parents, and so that's how I became a connector. But with doing so, I had to use story and I had to talk about things that were going on and reading, and I couldn't hear very well. I had issues with hearing, and you talked earlier about some of these things that are negative, but once we understand when we have these negatives or the drawback or the underdog, we can use them to our advantage. But I couldn't hear a lot, so I had to figure out how to talk and talk loud and and in order to talk quietly and figure out how to command the room.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And then later on, when I understood, look, at the end of the day, it's all about connection and realizing that I'm wanting people. I I I had a coach at one point in time, and they said, What it what do you want to do? And I said, I want to make people feel and be happy. And he was he came to me and said, But you can't do that. Right. That's up to them, that's their choice. And that was a real moment of clarity for me, especially you know, later on. I was like, Okay, but I can help them achieve their dreams, and hopefully by achieving their dreams, they could find more peace, more intention. And I know that sometimes we should find happiness in the moment that we're in. Sometimes as you're going or doing what you love, it can start to get those wheels turning. And so that's where as a business, you may be listening and saying, How do I apply some of this? Think about what you're doing on a daily basis. And you may be in a job that maybe you dislike and want to start another one, but you may want to build a bridge. But in your daily life, you can look at what you have on your list. And you can either do them, you can delegate them, or delete them. Then you can start to do more things that you're enjoying. And then creating more of a roadmap of where you wanted to be afterwards. And that's where you have a Venn diagram. You'll look at your skills, you'll look at what you're passionate about, and then you can look at you know your purpose or ultimately uh what you envision to be your true calling, and then try and find that in the middle and hopefully get to where you want to be.

SPEAKER_02:

That's good, and I like that you mentioned the Venn diagram. I think that's great. I do a lot of I talk about a lot of that stuff. I don't necessarily say the Venn, but I love that because my kids always used to talk about Venn diagram.

SPEAKER_00:

Venn diagram, Venn diagram, or like there's this thing too, Brian Tracy. I don't know, you talked about sales. Do you know Brian? Brian Tracy.

SPEAKER_02:

I've heard the name, I don't know if I'm familiar with the Bible.

SPEAKER_00:

He has the most simplest method to sell anything, and obviously you need to be connected to what it is that you're working with, or finding that connection. And so you talked about I I didn't love makeup, but you were connected to your highest calling, which is either providing for you or providing for your children, and that was a vehicle. So however you want to connect to that product service, to find your way in. Hopefully that it's aligned culturally, and that's some of the work that we do. But the Brian Tracy method is feel, felt, found.

SPEAKER_02:

Oh and so I do remember, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And and and to speak towards left brain and right brain, you're empathetic. I understand how you feel, and so you can connect to that individual because there's a problem that they have.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

And you can say, you know, others felt the same. And and then with that, you can go into the other side of the room where you have analytics or whatever. And then ultimately what we found is that if you do this trial offer or if you just begin to take the first step, you'll begin to get yourself one step closer towards achieving achieving your dream. And I read about that, and obviously there's AI now, you can put in all different things. That's where those true connections and those stories, if you can connect on a much more visceral level, more irreverently, you're going to connect with your prospect. But I've also done it one time in an email when I first learned about this training, and the client was like, sounds great. I was like, I just sold a product via email. And they said yes, it was the most amazing feeling ever.

SPEAKER_02:

That's so awesome. Well, and thank you for reminding me about that. Because we used to talk about the Phil Felt Found. I'm totally like you, I forgot about that. So thank you for reminding me about that because you're so right. It is, it is, it connects with people. And and there's so much to this. I, you know, like you're telling your story a little bit about your family and stuff. And I do think that, you know, I had a girl ask me the other day. Um, I met her through a client, and she has, I believe, a brother that is um autistic or whatever. And I was telling her about when I was growing, it we were talking, we were talking about connecting people because I was telling her one of the things that I feel like probably one of my I mean, we all have a lot of strength, things that we feel like we're good about. But this one of the things that is I'm good at bringing people together, and it doesn't really matter where they come from, their walk of life, who they are. That's one of the things I love about this show is that I've interviewed so many people from all over the world, and I don't really care like where they come from, how much money they have. I'm really looking, there's unique things I'm looking for about the person. And a lot of this is the things we've been kind of expressing. It's it's like grit and resilience and their story. And are they a fighter and are they unique? And do they, you know, like I'm looking for things in people and stuff. But she, I told her this the other day, and I said, Yeah, one of the things I I feel it's like I never even when I was growing up, I was never good at clicks. I never fit into a specific click because I would have a friend in that group and I would have a friend in that group.

SPEAKER_00:

Is this you talking right now?

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, this is exactly me. So when we talk about the mirror, I'm relating 100%.

SPEAKER_02:

I'm just like I had I struggled. I struggled all through school because I could never just sit down at a table and these are like, these are my friends because I'd have a friend over there and I'd feel bad because that friend's over there, but these guys didn't all like each other. But I'm like, I have a friend over there, or and this is my life. It's still my life today, is I have circles of friends everywhere. But here's what here's what she told me. She I said something about when I was younger. So I have my mother's brother is mentally retarded. He has been this way like forever. Okay, so now he's in his late 60s. And so growing up, I had to learn, like we just were used to it. We didn't think anything of it. Like we would go places and I would, but I would watch other people respond to him. And I picked up on a lot of these cues, like how people were treating people, like how they would treat him. And I always sort of felt this need to kind of like when he would be around, like sort of protect him. And so we were talking about that, and she said, Yeah, something about how, you know, she's like, You get it, you just get it with people, you know, like, and I think to your point, we go back, you know, like we go back to our childhood, there are things we pick up on. And when you talk about being like empathetic and connecting people and all that and telling stories and stuff, we we become more aware of things in people. And so that's what I like to say is that I can look at somebody and I know right away, like I can pick up on energy, even like I can tell when a lot of times when somebody's uncomfortable and then I go out of my way because I want to now try to make them feel comfortable because I don't, I don't know how I feel when I'm uncomfortable. You know what I mean? And so I pick up on so this is my crazy, like every day, because like even my group right now, I'm doing an event on Thursday night and I'm looking at the people that are coming to the group, and I'm like, they're from all different circles. I mean, just people in the circle.

SPEAKER_00:

That's the point, right? You're a product of the five most people, like the five people you spend the most time with. So why would you want them all to be the same? Because that's one facet of you. We're so multi-level. And me in Lexington, I live in Lexington now, coming from New York and LA, it's a little bit different, but I've gone out of my way to find artists. And you know, this one gentleman runs Kentucky for Kentucky, and he's really cool and insightful. He owned he did the cocaine bear, the movie. And so just trying to find individuals that I can surround myself with so they can learn more about their story and their background. But yeah, um, I think that's really cool.

SPEAKER_01:

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

It's an interesting, it's a I I mean, all these things we pick, I think there's so many messages in this episode today. And as I told you in the beginning, I never know where these are gonna go. I always find they're good conversations and we find the messages in them, but I think there's just so many great takeaways in this about you know, being authentic and being real. And, you know, we're not saying don't have a plan. You definitely need to have a plan to the things you do. But I always go back to you know, like what Jordan Peterson says about how like don't get so laser focused if you miss all the things on the side, right? Like you gotta have a little wiggle room for things to come in and and and then and then in the process you can embrace life and uh enjoy things. So I think there's so many, so many great messages to this today, and um it's it's been a it's been a fun conversation, Stephen.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, thank you so much for having me. And I I think for your listeners, uh, if there's a key takeaway, uh there's a quote that used to be in my mom's kitchen that I quote a lot. It says, uh to the world, you might be one person, but to one person, you might be the world. And so you may be in a tough spot, you may be in a wonderful spot. But at the end of the day, we're you know, all moving forward, whether or not you have family, children, others in your community, you can inspire them. And ideally with your business, whether or not you're a CEO, just starting out or a founder, really truly embracing that story that you're creating in with your company, I think is more important now than ever, especially as AI and automation. And we don't know what's real, so people will begin to question everything. So the more real and open and vulnerable and irreverent you can be around you, your story, and your brand, I think the more that you will begin to see yourselves on podcasts, on stages, and really sharing to inspire others. And if if uh I'd love to share quickly, if you go to stepensidel.com slash media, so that's s-t-e-p-h e-n s-e-i-d-e-l.com slash media. I have four platforms where you can begin to build your brand and you can share your story with journalists. They're seeking experts. So whatever it is that you're in, everybody needs an expert in every single field. There's an abundance in this world. So you can begin to share that. And I help, you know, individuals like yourselves create podcasts and really land on these stages. So we'd love to hear from you.

SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, that's awesome. Thank you for sharing your website. That was gonna be my next question is how do people find you and stuff? So thanks for sharing that for us. We need that. We'll make sure to, Steven, when we get the show notes put together, we'll make sure we get the website in there so that they know where to go.

SPEAKER_00:

And if you're a man who's struggling with sharing and finding a safe community, we all need a safe space. Come to gentsjourney.co slash join. It's totally free. There's 6,000 other like-minded men. We have tons of courses, quotes, different and different tools that you can to be the best man you can. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_02:

You have 6,000 in there. I'm impressed. That's awesome. Good for you.

SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, slow and steady. You know, at the end of the day, I tell everybody you need to have the 20-year plan. I think not being glad well coined the 10-year plan, but I've noticed for me, it took about 20 years to hit some of these key moments that I wanted in my life.

SPEAKER_02:

So it's good that you say that. Yeah, no, absolutely. And I it's funny because I was I'm in the final stages of getting my trademark done for Starter Girls finally, because I I am a guest on another show called The Maker's Bar. And she's got about 300,000 followers in there. And she had put a message out a while back that she was going around about her trademark. And I want to say it was with a bigger, a big, I don't even remember the name, I don't know if it was Yahoo or Google or something. She was going around with another company. So she's like, get your trademark done, get it done before it gets too big. Well, interesting is I get this email the other day from like vid IQ or whatever, and they're like, you're not a small podcast anymore. And like I'm thinking about this, like the growth of the journey of this whole even Starter Girls movement, because I started, you know, six years ago this month. And we didn't even, like I said, this is never for me, it's it's really just been a fun thing for me because I enjoy it, you know? And so it's it's been an interesting ride, but it just goes to show all this time, like it's just sort of kind of been brewing. I put it on hold for a while, brought it back, and now we're starting to finally it's growing, you know, the movement's growing and the messages getting out there, and it's fun to see it. But to your point, it takes time, it doesn't happen overnight.

SPEAKER_00:

I think if you're if you're in it for at least a year, just putting a year of your time, once you get past that year, oftentimes you'll start certain things and it may not be successful. If you've seen that you're steadily growing over a year, and steadily growing could be, you know, one follower, you know, every month or whatever that looks like for you. But if you see growth and you see that there's a path ahead, at that point you can double down. But oftentimes people limit themselves, say, Oh, I gotta get the website, I gotta get the demo. Whereas, like you said, I just have to start. Start a girls, you gotta get it. Start a men, start a girls, just start.

SPEAKER_02:

Just start, go down to have it perfect. Hey, like, I started that thing perfect, and then I was in the studio when I started, had all the fancy equipment. I bet the lighting. And then I decided, yeah, then COVID hit, and I'm like, you know what? This is well, COVID hit, forced us to go home. And then I was like, hey, this is pretty clever. You don't have to go in the studio all the time to do this. But here's the funny thing, Steven. Now I'm going back, I go back in the studio sometimes. So some of the local people I do take them in. So I'm doing a little bit of both now.

SPEAKER_00:

If if you could have them face to face, that's what we talk about face-to-face, eye to eye, heart to heart. Get out of your, you know, because oftentimes there's that energy. You know, you can get them in the eye and experience them the way that their hands are sitting. How are their feet? What kind of shoes that they have?

SPEAKER_02:

Well, good thing you ain't here, Steven, because we would not stop the podcast. We just keep going.

SPEAKER_00:

Go on forever.

SPEAKER_02:

They'd be like, get out of the studio, go home, do your work. Thank you so much. This has been so much fun, Steven. We'll make sure, like I said, when we get all this done, we'll get the show notes in there and get you tagged and all the good things. I do appreciate your time. It's been fun. Um, I want to wish you much success. We're gonna keep in touch so I can see what you're doing. And um, I still am going to, I was just thinking today, I forgot to get those. I was gonna get those cars, totally forgot. I'm gonna go into Amazon. I'm gonna buy those cards because I want to use them for my networking event. The journey deck.

SPEAKER_00:

Sure. Sure. The journey deck.

SPEAKER_02:

So um, yeah, we appreciate you and um all of your time and all your all your wisdom.

SPEAKER_00:

Thank you so much. Awesome.

SPEAKER_02:

And of course, to our audience, we appreciate you. Hope you found this episode both, excuse me, episode both informative and inspiring. And if you did, you know what to do. All the things. Hit the like button, share, subscribe, comment so we can keep sharing all of this fabulous content. And as I always say, in order to live the extraordinary, you must start. And guess what? Every start begins with a decision. You guys take care, be safe, be kind to one another, and we will see you next time.

Head Shot

Jennifer Loehding

Host