Starter Girlz Podcast

Retired at 49: What Comes Next? Nick Shelton, Best-Selling Author & TEDx Speaker

• Jennifer Loehding • Season 7 • Episode 110

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Retired at 49, Nick Shelton achieved the freedom many people dream of — but without structure, status, or purpose, that freedom felt unexpectedly empty. In this episode of the Starter Girlz podcast, Nick shares his Reinvention Formula for rebuilding identity, finding purpose, and creating a meaningful next chapter after retirement, career change, or major life transitions.

We dive deep into what comes next when success is no longer your identity and how to design Version 2.0 of yourself with intention, creativity, and purpose.

💡 What This Episode Is About
This episode explores the emotional reality of early retirement, the challenges of transitioning from a structured career, and practical strategies to reinvent yourself with intention. Nick shares his framework for building routines, communities, and habits that support your new identity and finding fulfillment beyond achievement.

💡 What You’ll Learn in This Episode
✔️ The emotional reality of early retirement
✔️ How to reinvent yourself when your title fades
✔️ Personal growth strategies for life after retirement
✔️ How to create routines, communities, and habits for your new chapter
✔️ Ways to find purpose without going back into corporate identity
✔️ Simple tools to reconnect with your curiosity and creativity
✔️ Why fulfilment comes from contribution, not achievement
✔️ Frameworks for identity transformation at any age

Whether you're exploring a career pivot, going through a life transition, approaching retirement, or simply craving a fresh start, Nick’s Reinvention Formula offers a roadmap to designing a life that truly fits who you are now.

💡 Why You Should Watch
This episode is packed with practical strategies, reflective insights, and proven tools that can help you…

  • Reconnect with your passions
  • Build confidence after huge transitions
  • Create a purpose-driven lifestyle
  • Reinvent yourself in a genuine, healthy way

This isn’t just about retirement — it’s about becoming the next version of YOU.

💬 Connect With Nick Shelton
🌐 Website: https://www.thenickshelton.com
(Visit for resources, speaking events, and more)

💬 Connect with Starter Girlz Podcast
🌐 Website: https://startergirlz.com
🙌 Partner: Walt Mills Productions

❤️ If you enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to:
👍 Like the episode
📩 Share it with someone who needs it
💬 Comment on your biggest takeaway
🔔 Subscribe to the Starter Girlz Podcast for more inspiring conversations

Your support helps us spread messages that empower people everywhere to reinvent their lives with confidence.

🎙️ Want to be a guest on Starter Girlz Podcast?
Send Jennifer Loehding a message on PodMatch here: https://www.podmatch.com/hostdetailpreview/17044863446695017c1879d7b

Jennifer Loehding:

Welcome to the Starter Girlz Podcast, your ultimate source of inspiration and empowerment. We're here to help women succeed in every area of their lives: career, money, relationships, and health and well-being. While celebrating the remarkable journeys of individuals from all walks of life who've achieved amazing things. Whether you're looking to supercharge your career, build financial independence, nurture meaningful relationships, or enhance your overall well-being, the Starter Girlz Podcast is here to guide you. Join us as we explore the journeys of those who dare to dream big and achieve greatness. I'm your host, Jennifer Loehding, and welcome to this episode. Welcome to another episode of the Starter Girlz Podcast. I am your host, Jennifer Loehding. And wherever you are tuning in today, we are so glad to have you. Well, here we are, another episode, another fabulous guest. So excited to chat with him. This is the first time we're actually meeting right here before we jump on this camera. Um, but before I get him on here, I do want to do, or let me back this up. Hold on. We're gonna hold that thought because I want to read this first. And there goes my brain, Monday morning, huh? All right, let me say this. Sometimes the biggest challenge isn't reaching success, it's figuring out what comes after. My guest today is someone who knows exactly what it's like to climb to the top, only to realize there's still something missing. It's a story of reinvention, purpose, and learning to reset when the life you've built no longer fits who you've become. And so we're gonna chat with him. So now we're gonna get back on track. We're gonna chat with him. But before we do that, I do need to do a quick shout out to our sponsor. This episode is brought to you by Walt Mills Productions. Need to add excitement to your YouTube videos or some expert hands for editing? Look no further. Walt Mills is the solution you've been searching for. Walt is not only your go-to guy for spicing up content, he's the force behind a thriving film production company with numerous titles in the pipeline. Always on the lookout for raw talent. Walt is eager to collaborate on film and internet productions. With a background deeply rooted in entertainment and promotion, Walt Mills leverages years of skills to give you the spotlight you deserve. Want to learn more about Walt and his work? Head on over to Walt Mills Productions.net and let your content shine. All right. And with that, I do want to make a mention to head on over to startergirlz.com. I say this every single week. Why? Because three reasons. One, if you have missed an episode, it is a great place to catch up on any episodes. It's also a great place to sign up for our community newsletter. Stay in the know. You'll know about all the episodes that are coming out. And then, of course, if you are a creator, aspiring entrepreneur, maybe you're just kind of in the middle of it and you would like to know maybe what your number one success block is that may be hindering your success. Well, gotcha back. I have a two-minute quiz over there that I've created that will do just that. You can take it and it'll tell you what may be stopping you from getting to that next step. So head on over to startergirlz.com and as I always say, do your thing. All right, my guest today, so excited, is Nick Shelton. He's a best-selling author, TEDx, an international speaker, and former petroleum chemist who's reinvented himself more than once. After serving in the U.S. Air Force and spending decades in the oil and gas industry, Nick retired early at 49 and soon discovered that freedom without purpose can feel empty. That realization led him to rebuild from the inside out, creating the reset button, a reinvention framework, helping others find clarity and direction through major life transitions. He's also the author of an introvert's guide to world domination, inspiring thousands of quiet professionals to thrive in a noisy world. And so, Nick, welcome to the show. I am so excited to chat with you today.

Nick Shelton:

Thank you so much, Jennifer, for having me. We're going to have a good time.

Jennifer Loehding:

We are. And I love this. I'm going to start off and say this introvert's guide to world domination. I love this because, you know, it's funny. I people ask me this. I'm going to tell you the story and then we'll get started with this. But I went into a to go see a band play a couple weeks ago. My husband was out of town, hadn't done this for a long time, and I decided, you know what? He had been gone for like, I don't know, seven or eight days. I was bored. And I'm like, you know what? I'm going out tonight. None of my friends wanted to go, so I decided to go by myself. And so it was funny. It was a Guns N' Roses cover band, really good band, by the way. But I go in there and I'm standing at this table and I somehow end up meeting two couples in there. And it was the funniest conversation because they were kind of shocked that I went in there by myself. And I remember one of the girls saying to me, Are you an extrovert? And I said, you know, it's kind of funny because I actually think I'm kind of both. I'm an introvert and an extrovert. And so it depends on the moment. And so I tell people, I'm really an ambivert. I show up. If I have to show up and be an extrovert, I'll be an extrovert. But let me say this: I have no problem having that solitude and quiet time too. So, anyways, I wanted to share that with you because I feel like, you know, I can sometimes get my introvert friends and I can sometimes get my extrovert friends as well. And so I'm excited to have you here today and um talk about all your greatness.

Nick Shelton:

Excellent. So all right.

Jennifer Loehding:

So let's tell me, let's start where you are right now. I want to talk a little bit about what you're doing right now with your clients because you're a TEDx speaker, an author. You've re- you know, you've invented this platform and you've kind of reinvented yourself. So tell us a little bit about what you're doing to help your clients right now.

Nick Shelton:

All right. So so what happened with me when I retired, so I'm 51 now, retired at 49. And at the moment when that happened, I was thinking, oh, endless summer. I've dreamed about this since I was a kid. It's going to just be summer forever. I can do whatever I want. Right. But without that structure, then it changes because uh for that first phase of life, you know, we're our identity's wrapped up in what we do and how well we do it. And then suddenly, if that changes, then it's like you have a bunch of currency that's no longer accepted. And so I felt like I was fading away, like I was invisible. And it's it's kind of strange in that, you know, while I was I felt like I won, like if you went to the Olympics or something, then you come home, and then they say, Oh, yeah, that's was your last Olympics, now do something else. And my whole life was this. Now what am I doing? And so, and it's also one of those things where you know it's hard to admit or say that there's an issue because everybody's looking at it like, oh, well, I want to do what you did. This is you're you're doing great. And you're like, no, I'm I'm there's some issues here that you know I I need to that I'd want to tell them, but it's hard to no one's gonna feel sorry for you, is what I'm saying. Right. And so it's hard to uh to make that bridge. So one day I was sitting around, I was like, if there's just a reset button, you know, if if I instead of waiting for another life, I could start another life right now. And because I felt like I was given that first sort of set of circumstances, but what if I could create this other set? And so, and this has worked for uh me. And first when I started this, I was thinking other retired people, but it seems like people that are drawn to me right now are a lot of people that have recently gone through a divorce and now they're trying to rebuild.

Jennifer Loehding:

Yeah.

Nick Shelton:

Because your life was it was this, right, and now it's completely different. So, okay, I have to rebuild startup. And so uh and I can walk you through the steps of that. Yeah. Would you like to start?

Jennifer Loehding:

Yeah, let's do that. I want to ask you a question though, because you said, you know, that you're getting these people that are rebuilding coming out of divorce. And I would imagine too, when you think of like transition, even like, okay, we my husband and I were just joking about this yesterday because my youngest, so my kids are all grown now. My youngest is trap travels with work. So he's home, he's gone. He's home, he's gone. So we were kind of joking yesterday about how we're like sort of kind of empty nesters, because we uh we we keep we have like a taste of it, but then he comes home again. So then we're back to being the kid in the house again, right? My girls are out already and and doing their thing. So I would imagine when we think of like transition, you could get some of those too, because any person, I think you think about like a uh the empty nesters, like especially like in my case, you know, like I've always had sort of a business, but I was a stay-at-home mom too. So I was with my kids the whole time. I mean, from the time they were born until they graduated, and having to make that transition. And I will tell you, as a mom doing that, that I've been grateful that I've had stuff because I can imagine a lot of women too coming into that phase and not and having that what you're talking about right there, that this is what it's been. And now they're into a new space. You know what I mean? So it's interesting that you're drawing in the um, you know, the the divorcees, which I could totally see that being again, transition. You've had years of, you know, and then all of a sudden you're in this new phase. So um, so yes, tell us a little bit about your framework, what you're doing. I'd love to hear it, and um, I'm sure some of our audience too, because there may be somebody sort of in that place right now.

Nick Shelton:

Right. And I I'll also tell you this part uh about uh when I first started this, I was thinking, oh I geared it toward men, and then I found more women were coming because I learned that uh women are more open to saying, I need some help with this.

Jennifer Loehding:

Yes, yes.

Nick Shelton:

Whereas, you know, more men are just like, I'll try to figure it out, you know. And so, yeah, a lot of women can know when it's time to get some get some help with certain things.

Jennifer Loehding:

Yeah, they buy too, Nick. They tend to buy more. Not always, but I think in most cases, women tend to be more the buyers, and I and I can share this with you because I kind of feel the same way too. I tend to lean into it's funny, like this show, for instance, is a is a show for women, right? You're in a great place. But oddly enough, um, Nick, a lot of men listen to this show too. So it's like I get caught in the cross, kind of like you do too, because I'm like, the women are the ones that I need to be aiming, but the men are also paying attention, and how do I work with them too, you know? So anyway, so yes, go ahead and and let's get back to what you were talking about.

Nick Shelton:

Okay, so the steps, so it starts off with an audit, like a personal audit, not the scary IRS audit, but the just a personal audit to see where you're at. Because, you know, if you're gonna make a change, you need to like see what the baseline is, what you're working with. So I encourage people first we we do an audit of not just like assets and liabilities, but just personality traits. Like what are you doing? What does your day look like? What have you built for yourself? And then we're gonna find out what parts of you are we gonna want to carry forward, and then what is no longer relevant, what do we need to leave behind?

Jennifer Loehding:

Yeah.

Nick Shelton:

And then in this audit also, when people get caught up in their busy lives, there's a lot of things that fall off to the side. And let's revisit some of those. So for example, I when I was in high school, I used to write poetry all the time. And then afterwards, I never wrote poetry. Right. And, you know, I don't know if I thought I was too cool or if I got too busy, but I said, let's let's revisit that. Maybe there's something still there, and you know, maybe not, but let's try it out and see, do I still like this? And then, like I wanted to be a chef when I was 10 years old, but then that fell to the side. But now let's let's revisit that. Oh, I still like to do that. Okay, this is something that we can add in to the this new version because you know I forgot about some of these things that really light that little fire within. So we're gonna do this audit, and then once we that's complete, we're going to uh honor and release the old version of us. And what that looks like for me is like I would write a letter to myself and say, you know, thank you for all these cool things, the good things you did, but then also forgive myself for, okay, you stumbled here, but you know, we made it through, and it's okay. And then uh after writing all this out, this heartfelt letter to myself, then you know, say, okay, I'm taking over now. You know, 2.0 version of me, I'm taking over. Thank you for for getting us this far. And then we do like a bull burning ceremony, we light it on fire and let that go. And then from there, we're going to uh put together, we take the the things we wanted to carry forward, and now it's kind of like if we were writing a a movie screenplay, movie script, and we're developing a character, what would we like it to look like now? Like I said before, I felt like I was given that first circumstantial me. Right. But now if I wanted to create that, what would we like that to be? So, for example, maybe I've always been a morning person, but now I think I'll I might want to be a night person. And there's nothing saying I can't do that. Right. I can do that. I'm not stuck in being the same thing that I always was. I might want to eat differently, I might want to have a different morning routine or exercise. Maybe I'm gonna exercise less. You know, there's I can decide, I can make this decision. So I'm gonna build out this character of what the traits that I would like to have. And then, you know, everyone says, Yeah, I can write that, but how do we get it to stick? And so I'll pause here for any questions that you might have, but then we'll get into how when we develop this new version of ourselves, how we're actually going to implement that and get that step into it, how we get it to stick.

Jennifer Loehding:

Well, I don't know that I have any questions, but I do want to say something that I like this idea of writing the letter, because I think there's different ways of doing that release. And I hadn't heard it this way, but I will tell you, I've done that before, like when I've gone through like grievings, which you know, like something that may be grieving. I write a letter to kind of work through stuff. So I think that was may maybe kind of sort of a little bit of what you're talking about, where you're letting something go, you're letting yourself go, kind of that, you know, like and then allowing room and space for the news. So I like that. I just wanted to comment. I don't know if I have any questions yet. I want to let you let keep going on this next part, and then something will come up. I'll have more for you.

Nick Shelton:

Okay. And so to get this to stick, so there's two main things. So the first really simple thing is uh, and it's kind of I gave a TEDx talk on this, is the power of uniforms. So my best friend is a police officer, and a lot of times he doesn't feel like being a police officer. But when he puts on the uniform, he has to conduct himself as such because, hey, this is what you you have the uniform, do your job.

Jennifer Loehding:

What you signed up to do, right?

Nick Shelton:

Right, right. And so I thought about uniforms, the power of uniforms, and I was thinking, well, what if we just had a private uniform that only we know about? So it could be a necklace, it could be a watch, it could be just something simple, a pair of shoes. And then you say, when I put this on, this is the uniform of this new person that I'm trying to be. And so, and you actually have to want it to work because there's sometimes people say, Well, that would never work for me. But yeah, yeah, you have to want it to work and be like, hey, I don't might not feel like it, but I have the uniform on, let's do this. So that's one simple thing. But then what we're gonna do in society is, and these are the defaults, and we can tweak these a little bit, but I always tell people take a dance class, a cooking class, and a language class. What that does is it's you can't sit on the side. It forces you to engage with new people. So, you know, dancing, it's more intimate, and then the uh and people say, I don't know how to dance. It's a class. It's okay. And then the cooking class, you get to, you know, burn some food with a stranger, and the language class, butcher a language with a new person. And what happens is you're going to introduce yourself. They don't know anything about the old you. Right. All they know is how you introduce yourself now. And people say, Well, I used to introduce myself by my title. How do I introduce myself now? Well, now you're going to introduce yourself as your interests or what you're working on. So like for me, I could say, I'm Nick, and I'm working on getting my pilot's license, and I'm interested in beekeeping and watercolor paints.

Jennifer Loehding:

Yeah.

Nick Shelton:

And so now that's that's all they know. They don't know about anything else. So anything that we talk about, and anyone they introduce me to or think, oh, you know, I know I was wondering about this. It's all based off of this new version. So anytime I'm around these people or anyone they introduce me to, I am that new person because that's all they know about me. So I will automatically default into this new role. And let's see, there was something else in there. Yeah, so with this it's like now when you go back to Thanksgiving with your family, sure they're gonna be like, yeah, you know, but when you're out, this will help enhance that that you and solidify that. And then from there, you're also going to want to do uh environmental audit as well and curate your environment. So like and it could be as major as if you can. I'm not saying everyone has to move, but if you just moved, if you have if you're able to move and you move into a new place, then you can set it up that so that reflects this new you. Or if you're not moving, you can just tweak it a little bit, add some accents to your home that reflect the and remind you, oh, this this is this version of me now. So just uh there's a few things that if you do all these things, it it helps get that momentum going of the new version of you.

Jennifer Loehding:

I like it. And you know what I think is interesting? It's funny because you know, like this is a lot of things I tell people to do, not in this way. I love it. It's it's funny because when you were talking about how like you didn't have the opportunity to do some of these things that maybe you enjoyed, and I think that's because we get into that whole sort of left brain, life, right brain thing, but also you know, in the doing versus action versus creative, right? Like, so there is, um, I don't know if you've read this or heard about there's a book called This uh The Power of Wind, W H E N. It's by the sleep doctor. It's one of my favorite books. You will probably like it because there's actually some science behind it. So I read all that, but I kind of went through that because I'm just like, give me the things I need to know, right? Like, give me the main points. Okay. Here's the beautiful thing about it. It talks about how everything we do is based on our circadian rhythm. And so what's interesting about this is so I am you probably are too. I'm actually a lion. I I I get up early in the morning every day. That's my favorite time of the day. I like breakfast, favorite meal of the day. I get a lot done in the morning, and by the end of the day, you know, afternoon, I'm just starting to go downhill. I'm not a very good party person. That's where my introvert, I guess, comes because I'm not a very good party person. Okay. But here's the interesting thing. The reason I'm telling you this is because let's go back to what you're talking about. When I get up in the morning, it is really difficult for me to be creative oriented. I'm very task-oriented. So I'm thinking about my to-do list. What do I need to do? Who am I talking to today? What's happening? All of the things that are important today. If you saw my Google calendar today, I'm like, I can't breathe. It's just packed with stuff all day, right? And then what happens is at the end of the day, when I start to um unwind, I become less task oriented. I can become more creative. I have time for a little bit more of the fun, a little bit more. Even though I'm not a great party person, I am better at coming up with creative ideas and stuff. And so what happens is I'm listening and I'm thinking about this, is that, you know, we get so in this go, go, go, go, go, go that it's hard to make room for the creative and the fun and the things that actually what you're talking about add value to us. So not only do they allow us to show up in a different way, they add value. So the beautiful thing about it is that when you start, like you were talking about, like, you know, you get to butcher, like, I don't know what the exact word was, a language with somebody, cook with somebody. I mean, I firmly believe that everything we ever need to know in life comes from a conversation. We just need to meet somebody, right? So all those things you're talking about are really about allowing us to be creative, curious, have ingenuity, engage with other people and grow, right? Like grow. And it's not to say we don't grow doing our careers or school or all those things, right? But that's a different kind of growth, right? That's a knowledge, that's a different, right? And over here, you're still getting knowledge, but then you're getting wisdom and life skills, life experiences, you know, all those things that are not always um, it's kind of like the way you think about like school, right? Like you learn things in school, but do we learn how to actually, I mean, think about kids like now, you know, do we actually learn to have those conversations and engage and conflict resolution, all this? So all these things you're talking about, I think are excellent because they really, it's even more than just it's everything. It's like we learn so much from doing those things, you know. And that's why like you'll hear they'll talk about even like music when you learn music, how good it is, you know. And so um, so yes, I'm all for it. I love it. I think it's great. And and I love it that if if these are ways it work, you know, for you, and there surely somebody listening to this will probably say the same thing that, you know, hey, this is great, never thought of it this way.

Nick Shelton:

Right. That's I'm a processes person. So the process, like what's the step? What do you what do you do? How do you walk through it? And I talk a lot about, you know, finding purpose, but really, uh, that's so people can understand, but really it's your purpose is more revealed once you get into this alignment, right? And then you start bringing back some of those old things and exposing yourself to some of these new things, yeah. Then you say, Oh, I would like to do this. When you wake up in the morning, I want more of that. And it could be something you just learned about. Yeah, you didn't even know it existed until you know you went to one of these classes and somebody mentioned just one small thing and go, Oh, I would like to investigate that further. And one of the things is people sometimes think that if they choose something, if they say, Okay, I'm gonna do this now that now you're stuck with it forever. Right. No, you you you can change, you can just try it on maybe one month or two, and then you go, okay, I'm I tried bird watching and I liked it for a month, and now I'm ready to move on to something else. And you can do that. It's okay. People always feel like they're stuck. You you can decide to change and keep it open. And another thing is the value of these relationships, because I think we go from that go-go achievement, you know, you you your your identity is, you know, what you do and how well you do it, to more of a relationship base to where it's like, what am I to my family and my community? Yeah. You know, providing that uh, you know, being like a mentor, providing, you know, going to the you're now the the elder in the tent, you know, you're you're uh versus you're out doing the stuff you you're you can provide, you you have a lot of wisdom and you can provide a lot of uh value through your through your connections and relationships with people.

Jennifer Loehding:

And so it's just reminds me, you know, what you're saying. I had a a gal that I worked with, oh, probably I I think right when COVID hit, I took on a client, and I think she was in the Air Force. I think she was training or doing something. I remember she came to me and she was trying to get an because my background is also well wellness. So like uh I'm I'm actually it's funny, I'm trained in like keto certification, supplement certification. Um, I'm a former marathon runner, so was aerobics instructor many years, and so that's kind of my natural draw. But anyway, she came to me because she was trying to get a fitness routine planned out. And I mean, it was a hardcore thing. She was trying to, and it was right when COVID, so everybody was combined. She couldn't get out to go to a gym or anything like that. And I remember in the in the interim this, and now the reason I'm telling you is because you're gonna totally, you're gonna, you're gonna appreciate this, but I remember talking to her about all this stuff you're talking about right now because she was so hyper-focused on this routine. All of this stuff had to iron out a certain way, and the discipline, and it wasn't that she wasn't disciplined, it's just it was a weird time. We were in the middle of COVID, people were trying to adjust, blah, blah, blah. Well, somewhere, I worked with her for a while, and somewhere in there, she had told me she wanted, she was waiting for her, I guess, her government paperwork or whatever to get and it had gotten lost. I mean, it was, it was a big mess. Anyways, a long story short, she wanted to go fly a plane, but she couldn't see the point in going to fly the plane if she wasn't gonna get accepted where she needed to be accepted. And I said to her, I said, Do you I remember this conversation? I'm like, do you like to fly planes? And she said, Yeah. I said, So then why don't you just go fly a plane? Why don't you just go get a hire, go to a, you know, wherever you need to go to the airport, wherever you need to go, hire instructor or go fly, whatever. And so she did. She went and did this, and then she ended up sending me pictures. She took some pictures up in the sky and sent them to me. When she came back to her meeting the next, you know, her session the next day, she was like, Oh my gosh, I had the best time, you know. But she was so laser focused on it needing to be, you know, like happen because of this thing instead of just going with what we're talking about, just going and doing something that you enjoy doing.

Nick Shelton:

Right.

Jennifer Loehding:

You know, and then so then she started just scheduling, you know, and I and I think her paperwork finally ended up getting where it needed to be. Everything got, you know, worked out. But I just remember us having this dialogue and and and and the thing was in my mind, there was nothing to be losed by going and doing that. You know, if she'd have been a better flight, a better pilot. If she got accepted, she would she'd had some training on her belt and all of that. But to your point, I I think that's what we do a lot of times is we just really don't see the value in doing these things that add value to us. And to that, I say you really can't afford not to, right? Because it it it gives you you you will your purpose will re be revealed in those in those moments, and you're not gonna know if you don't have curiosity and you're not trying things. And so, you know, I tell my kids all the time, I'm like, just go try. If you don't like it, it's not the end of the world. I don't know how you're gonna know unless you try, right? And so we get this idea that the only thing we try has to be the only thing we do. If we do it, we better like it, we better finish it, we better stay the course. And yeah, we don't want to be quitters at everything, but I don't know how we will know if we don't try.

Nick Shelton:

Right. Try it on. I always tell people show up. Just show up. You don't have to stay when you show up. But if you show up, then you can look around, see how it feels. And especially for us introverts, you can say, show up, five minutes, okay. I've had enough.

Jennifer Loehding:

Then go.

Nick Shelton:

Then you can go.

Jennifer Loehding:

You'll like it, bill ship, have a backup plan, right? Like how are you getting out of that one? So, no, I I I get you. And I do think that it's important, and and I'm glad that you said that because I do think it's important. I think so often we really get in this mindset of we whatever we do, we have to see it and like it and be okay, you know. And I think if you go into things with the expectation that I'm gonna give it my all and I'm going to try it, and I'm not gonna go in with a bad attitude, right? You know, because that's important. You said that in the beginning, it is important, but go in with I'm gonna try. And if I absolutely do not like this, then that's okay. I can do something different. It's okay.

Nick Shelton:

Right. You know, you just see if it still has that effect or if it does have an effect on you, and then if it if not, and he and it could happen for, like I said, maybe a week or a month, and then it could stop. And you say, okay, well, let's try something else.

Jennifer Loehding:

I would totally, I would totally do a dancing class. I don't know about cooking though. I cook a lot and I'm not really, I don't like to cook, and I do it, but I don't like it. Maybe it would be different if I did it with people. I don't know. My son is a chef, he is a he is like a sous chef, love, does a great little cook and all the things, but my husband likes to cook, but I tell you, I do it just not my favorite thing. Now, dancing, totally love dancing. And I would go, I'll be like, we'll go do, I'll go learn any dancing. I don't even like to dance. So all good, Nick. I would love to ask you a question of having come, you know, talk to you a little bit about this entrepreneur journey because very different than what you did before, right? Like so different coming from that space to this space, right? Right. So I would love to know, like maybe for somebody listening to this, who may there may be somebody right now that's where you are sitting in that spot. Maybe they're in that, oh my gosh, I'm ready for transition. I'm ready to come out of corporate move into here, whatever that is. What were some of the things you had to, you know, maybe one or two things you had to learn to kind of navigate? You said some about your, you know, reinvention here, but maybe some things just going from the employee to being now your own boss and and dictating your schedule.

Nick Shelton:

I would say so structure is important, having some structure. And I'm built very similar to you, where my mornings look a certain way and my evenings are different. But uh so recognizing that and and building your day around your strengths, your strong points, your strong times of day. But I would say the most important thing, the number one thing, is when I realized it's not about me. It's not about me. It's like what I can give. So my victories went from in that first phase about like what I can, like, I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna do this right, to now my victories are through other people's victories.

Jennifer Loehding:

Yeah.

Nick Shelton:

And so when I help someone, if they ask for advice or I give advice and and they do it and they come back and they say, This worked for me, then I'm winning through them. And that is far more fulfilling. You know, it's hard to see it until you do it, but it's it's great to uh not make it about me. And when you make it about yourself, then you get in your head about it, and it makes it so, so crazy and way more difficult than if you just go, okay, how can I help this person? I'm gonna it's my thing is I say I'm gonna make someone's day today. I'm gonna make someone I can't always control my day, but I can absolutely make sure somebody else has a great day. And so through that No, go ahead.

Jennifer Loehding:

I'm sorry.

Nick Shelton:

So I was saying that uh yeah, through that uh realizing it's not about me, it's about you know what I can give and experiencing my victories through other people, that I think that anybody who can if you make that shift in how you view things, oh, it it's it's a game changer. That's that's huge.

Jennifer Loehding:

Yeah, well, and I think that that you're right, that's really just putting the ego down, right? It's like allowing yourself to be okay with it and I not be about you. And I think that that is something that us as leaders have to work at all the time, right? Like it's funny because I was just today, I'm trying to do, you'll laugh, I'm trying to do social media today. And all my, you know, like I have I do have social media, a social media manager that helps me with because I've got multiple things going on besides a podcast that I do, but she helps me with some of my social media, and then I do some of it, my personal stuff. And so today I'm trying to do my social media, and everything that comes back, it's like, put a selfie of you doing this, put a selfie of you doing this, put a selfie, and I'm like, can we just stop with the selfies? I don't want any more selfies today. What can I put up besides a selfie of Jennifer? You know, and so and then every time I'm trying to do my content, I'm like, I don't want to talk about me today. What can I say that? But but that's the thing. As leaders, we inspire. That's what we do. So it's hard to not talk about our stories and our journeys because that's why people are real, that's how we're relating. That's how we're bringing people right. And so it's this constant inner dialogue of um, you know, putting the stuff out there, but not, I don't want to talk about me, but I want to help you, you know. And and so I do think that that is um something we have to work at all the time. And I think that it, yeah, when you can learn to, I mean, obviously, I'm not saying don't ever talk about your story because you have to. That's what you're there's going to be people that relate to your story. But I do think that you're right. It it really gets to this place of when you can serve other people, that's when you have the greatest impact. And I came from network marketing, so you know, we had Zig Ziggler for a long time. And you'd always say, like, you know, you you can you what is it? You can get what you want when you hope enough uh other people get what they want first. You know, so it's the service, the service uh mindset. So I love that. So big shift, I'm sure, coming. You know, something, you know, especially being in the field that you were in where it was a very achievement. Clearly, you are, you know, you've done a lot of great things and achievement's been important and just make that shift from going to that to okay, now I'm taking that and serving other people. Right. So it's I love it. Love the discipline. I'm sure that that's helping you. Discipline is not a bad thing, it will help you get into a lot of things. It's funny, I that has never been an issue for me. I don't know why. I've had people ask me, they're like, Were you ever in the military? And I'm like, no, probably should have been, but I would have talked too much and scared everybody. So um, but discipline's good. It helps you get things done when you don't always want to do something. Yes, for sure. So um any like you when you you talked about, you know, the challenge of moving from, you know, yourself to serve, but any advice for somebody in a space where they're trying to get something, making a shift and transition, anything specific. You've we talked about doing the audit, and then we talked about the tools and techniques, but um, anything you want to add to that that they can do um or anything you want to say?

Nick Shelton:

Let's say, well, yeah, keep your keep the the mind open, bring up some of those past things that you that we talked about that you might have liked. But I think that when you if you're trying to uh making that transition, a lot of times people feel that they have to stay in that same field. So for example, if you've been working in a certain field for most of your career, and then you say, well, maybe I'll be, I guess I could be a consultant in this field. You don't have to be a consultant in that field. You could be a consultant in a different field. You know, you can, if you're going to do the entrepreneurship journey, it does not have to align with what you've done in the past. Once again, we are resetting, reinventing this you. And so once again, you if you want to and it feels aligned, yeah, stick with what you built all this knowledge on. But sometimes, like I met someone the other day that was an engineer, naturally, and I said, What made you want to become an engineer? And they said, I never wanted to be an engineer. Interesting. My parents wanted me to be an engineer.

Jennifer Loehding:

Oh, yeah.

Nick Shelton:

And this was a this was a uh a woman, by the way, also. So it just sometimes, you know, that's this happens because I I hear it both ways with men and women. But she said, My parents wanted me to be an engineer, so that's why I did that. And I was like, Wow, you know, so you put all this time and effort into this thing that you never wanted to be. Yeah, and then so, but then you know, she could do, well, I can do something else, but then the pivot was going to be around that same thing that you never wanted to do.

Jennifer Loehding:

Exactly. It's because when she's comfortable, it's what she knows, right? Right. Yeah.

Nick Shelton:

Yeah, she she knows that, and so she knows she can default to that. But that's once again, that's that playing it safe sort of thing. That's the comfort zone. I challenge to kind of push out, push to those the edges of that, the comfort zone. And you know, you can always learn. You learned how to do everything that you're doing now, so you can learn how to do something new that you actually that makes you feel feel alive. And so there's a thing that I suggest that so some people before when I talk about this like rebuilding yourself, there's many people out there that say, well, that's all fine and good, but I'm just trying to make it through today.

Jennifer Loehding:

Yeah.

Nick Shelton:

You know, how do I make it through today? And so I recommend them doing a what I call a uh dignity scan. So the dignity scan reminds you that you are still in there and you are worth rebuilding because if somebody doesn't even feel like they're even worth the effort to rebuild, then they're not gonna do it. So this what that looks like is you know getting out a sheet of paper and then saying, like, uh what's a skill, one skill or strength that I have? Write that down and then write, how do I know? Write that down. And then like uh a piece of wisdom that uh that I've gathered along the way. How do I know? One person that I care about in the world, just one. Yeah, how do I know that I care about them? One person that cares about me. There's a lot of people who say, no, I cares about me. Somebody's cared about you at some point.

Jennifer Loehding:

Right.

Nick Shelton:

Write that down. How do you know? And then uh like a memory that reminds me that I'm capable. How do I know? And then once you've done this, then that it's like a little pilot light. It likes this thing, it reminds you that, oh yeah, that it gets these gears flowing. Yeah, I'm in there, I'm worth rebuilding. There's still something something here that we just need to to fan the flames up. And so from there, you just need that little bit, that little bit to get through the day to remind you that there's that hope in there, and then from there. Then we do the bigger audit, we start rebuilding that new person. And I love it.

Jennifer Loehding:

No, I think it's great, Nick. And I think this is a journey. I mean, you're definitely an example. You know, it's funny because um my story is different than yours, but I I it's weird because I think I probably switched gears about the same age. I'm in my I'm in a I'm my birthday's actually this month. And I'm not excited about it. Happy birthday. Yeah, I'm not excited about it because I I'm gonna be 53 this year. I'm not excited about it. I don't know. My birthdays are not fun with after a certain age. You're not when we were kids, right? We liked them. But it's interesting because I think probably around so 2018. So we're we're in 2025. So around 2018 would have been my late 40s, somewhere around there. I kind of I was in uh Mary Kay for 22 years in the same team, le led teams and stuff, and so did the same thing. So ended up kind of the same way you did, sort of got to a place where I didn't necessarily retire. I kind of just got disillusioned and sort of went, just sort of maybe you did do that. I don't know. I sort of just kind of weeded myself out and r started to reinvent. But what was interesting is when I moved into the new space it to talk about like what you were talking about, this whole like, you know, thinking I needed to do something similar, it's crazy because I've had these conversations so many times where I go, you know, it would be so easy for me right now to just pick up and go join another company because it's it's what I know. I've done it for so long. You know, I've sold products for, you know, albeit the same company, you know, but that's what I know how to do. I know how to build teams, I know how to book, I know how to coach people, I know, you know, I know how to sell, I know how to recruit, that kind of thing. But the whole reason that I left that that industry to begin with, I mean, there were multiple reasons, but I will tell you the main reason that I left was because I could not be creative in that space, really. I didn't feel that I could be creative. I didn't want to be selling somebody else's product. I wanted my thing, you know? And so the whole that that's a big part of who I am is creativity. I like creating things, I like these interviews, I like doing these podcasts, I like building things out and having platforms and stuff like that. And so um, and I will tell you that was not identified until I started doing things. I started doing things, and I realized that creativity is a huge part of who I am. And if I'm not doing something where I can be in some way creative, then I'm not gonna be satisfied. And so um, to your point, I think that, you know, this all um this reinvention kind of came about late. It wasn't a plan thing. I don't know that I ever saw myself leaving what I was doing. I think I thought I would do that forever. And then things started happening, and and I, you know, I decided I needed to be doing something different. And in that transition and curiosity of trying things, I started developing and figuring out what was important to me and what my purpose is and what I'm supposed to be doing. So your story, your stuff, although I may have done it in a different order and different ways, that's kind of really what you're talking about. What you and I have done here is this whole, you know, transition. And I think it's a beautiful thing. I think a lot of people looking at this think you're you're a great example of somebody who's had a solid career, done very well, and came to a place where you're like, okay, I did it, I'm here, and now I've I gotta reinvent. And it's okay. I can do it. It's okay.

Nick Shelton:

Yes. Yeah, it is okay. That's the the biggest thing. People somehow in their minds feel that yeah, they they can't. They're just done. You don't have to be done. You can just pivot.

Jennifer Loehding:

At any age, too. It doesn't matter. As long as you're still physically moving and walking and breathing and doing all the things and you're excited about it, then it's okay.

Nick Shelton:

Yes.

Jennifer Loehding:

I'm not gonna tell anybody I had a skydiver on here one, an eight-time world record skydiver on here a few weeks ago. I'm not gonna tell anybody, you know, if you're not physically fit and that's your gonna be your reinvention to go do anything like that. You know, if your doctor says it's okay or whatever, you you think you're okay then and that's your thing, go for it. You know, but I'm not advising on any of that. You have to make those calls, right? So point is you can you can, I think, reinvent it anytime. And I think that's the beautiful thing about it. So good stuff, Nick. I love it. So I'd love to know really quick because as this is gonna be a fun, kind of a fun question. So you did this TED talk, this TEDx talk. So um like this is different, right? Like different than you know, doing your other type of work. And so, what was this like getting up there? I have never done a TEDx talk. That is not an odd, and here I talk all the time. I've never done that. So maybe share a little bit about that experience, you know, for our listeners.

Nick Shelton:

Right. Well, I I really enjoyed it. I really enjoyed when it was done because there's a lot of work. There's a lot of work that goes into it. But there was, you know, all my work with introverts, shy, and socially awkward people in the past, uh, and someone I I had asked me about you know social anxiety, because there's always these different sections of socializing and building social circles, and that's one of the big ones. And I said, Wow, I I I think that I figured out a way, well, a way that works for me at least, and because I'm the guinea pig for all of my stuff. It's not theory, it's stuff that I've done.

Jennifer Loehding:

Right.

Nick Shelton:

And so I said, Well, this could help people. Let me try to get it out on a bigger stage. And so then I applied for the the TEDx. And this was for the listeners, I referenced it earlier. I did a talk about social anxiety and then that uniform method on having your own private uniform to do something. So for my example in the talk was public speaking. I had a bracelet, and I still have a bracelet, that is my public speaking uniform. When I put on the bracelet, yeah. You know, this is and so I went and I demonstrated it. I had the bracelet on, I did the speech, and you know, so this was just one of those things where I I just wanted to, I I really thought that that message could help people, and on that stage, I said it could get more exposure to letting people know that this is this is an option, this is something you can do.

Jennifer Loehding:

Yeah, I like it. No, it's great. And you know what? I will tell you a funny story, and then I'm gonna let you tell us where to find you. So when I was in college, true strike, I've said this several times on episodes. I haven't said it in a while, but I took a public speaking class, and let me say this. I'm gonna start off with this. When I was a child, I was not shy. I was Chatty Cathy, got in trouble for school talking all the time. But I think as I got in trouble so much, then I became shy and stopped talking. Okay. So when I was a little kid, I would record myself, you know, on my my boom box. Remember, we had cassette players and you play and record, and you could record. I would record myself like a DJ being a radio host. Little did we know they would have podcasts like 40 years later, right? So then I get into middle school, high school, college, and I'm and I'm actually probably more shy now and quiet. And so I take this public speaking class in college, and I remember having to get up there with these, I still remember this, like getting up there with these note cards and having to do this presentation. And we just had to do like a speech off note cards. Now, Nick, today that would probably not bother me so much anymore. I talk all the time in front of people. I've been on stages. I mean, not TEDx, but I've been on other stages, not a big deal. Then scared me to death. And I remember going up there and just sweating like my arm, it's everywhere and coming off. And I remember this guy said to me, You did a good job. And I was like, oh, that was just awful. I swore that day, the day that I did that, I would never talk in front of a group of people ever again. The universe has a funny way, sense of humor, because I went into Mary Kay. And when I went into Mary Kay, I had to do presentations all the time. And then that turned into having to train my team and getting up in front of my team. Then it turned to me having to get up on in front of other larger groups of people and train. And then when I went into another company, getting up in front of like 500 people and having to talk. And so I will say, you know, be careful what you wish for, right? So, but just I I think I give people like you, I give people hope that it doesn't really matter where you come from. It really does. You know, it's it's a it's a you put yourself out there, you have curiosity, expose yourself to learning, and you just, you know, you get you get better at it. So the more you do this and get out there and talk to people and and get comfortable with it, the easier it gets. And now that's why people look at me and they're like, She's not scared of, she's not scared. Oh, I've had plenty of scared moments. I've had I've had people on this show that have like I brought them on and like I've been secretly like sweating underneath, you know, like am I gonna say the wrong thing today or whatever, you know? So it's all good. So I commend you. You're an awesome and um what a what a great thing you're doing. And um, you know, kudos to you for you know being willing to step into this new space and learn and grow and and share your journey with others.

Nick Shelton:

Thank you. I definitely appreciate that.

Jennifer Loehding:

So, Nick, if our audience says somebody wants to get in touch with you, maybe somebody listening today wants to follow you, they want to reach out, grab, you know, grab the book, whatever, where do we want to send them?

Nick Shelton:

Okay, so then we got some options. So we can go to LinkedIn, you can type in Nick Shelton, I pop right up, easy to find, my smiling face. And then uh for the book, an introvert's guide to world domination, it's on Amazon, also on Barnes and Noble, and uh also audio book version, just in case you want to listen. Then I have uh connected, so connectedintrovert.com. Okay. Find me on there. And then there's also a side by other site, reset the man. Women can go there too. Resettheman.com. Yeah. And uh that and then there's another one that I'm working on. It might be up by the time uh this airs. If so, then we can put it in the show notes or something. But uh those are the main ones. So and I can I can help with any rebuilds or any questions about introvert, shy, socially awkward, yeah, networking things, all of that. Uh I can I'd be more than happy to help in any way.

Jennifer Loehding:

Just reach out and uh we'll yeah, and I know there I have lots of introverted friends too, and I know it's a real thing because I'm telling you, I mean, I saw an article on something on it was maybe it was LinkedIn not too long ago that they were talking about how like um something that the extroverts do that were driving the introverts crazy. And I'm like, it goes, I think it just all goes both ways. And when you're in the middle of it, like you're both, I can see both sides. Like I totally get this. And it's kind of like, you know, you know, the the the colors, the yellow, the red, the blue, and the green, you know, like you have the there's I forgot what that book is, but it's like, you know, the the yellows that are the the ones you got the reds, the yellows, reds are your D's, which are, you know, decision makers, and then your yellows are what you're influencing. And I crack up at all of them because I think having you know worked with so many different women in Mary Kay that I kind of learned, like I know I'm at I know what I am, I'm a red yellow. And I but I don't get me wrong, I'm I can be very detailed and organized too. I'm kind of weird. And that's where I think all that Mary Kay came in because I think having worked with all these different women for so many years in all the different areas, I had to learn to like navigate all those. You know what I mean? And so even on this show, what I get people that are all of these that we're talking about, introvert, extrovert, you know, talkers, non-talkers, I've had to learn how to assimilate with them, you know, roll back with them and not be like if I'm with somebody, I will tell you, Nick, if I get somebody like me on the show, it's a ping-pong match. I'm so tired when I'm done. It's we just go back and forth. It's like ping, ping, ping, ping, you know? Yes. So, but you do, you learn. So, um, so no, I think it's great what you're doing, and I'm sure somebody listening will resonate with this and uh hopefully they'll reach out to you if they need to.

Nick Shelton:

Absolutely. Thank you. And yeah, I want to remind your audience, just show up, show up somewhere, pick some, pick something that you're curious about and just get into the room. For example, there's those meetup groups everywhere. I went to one that with pilots. It was pilots. Yeah. And I'm not a pilot. I did take some flying lessons a while back, but I'm not a pilot, but I just said, I would like to meet some pilots.

Jennifer Loehding:

I want to meet some pilots.

Nick Shelton:

Yeah. And so I went in and they said, Well, what do you fly? Because everyone flew something. And I said, Oh, I don't fly anything. I just wanted to make some pilot friends because it always seems like a good idea to me.

Jennifer Loehding:

Yeah, I know several pilot friends I can introduce you to. I know several here, young and old.

Nick Shelton:

Yeah, so it's it can be something like that. It doesn't have to be. So I don't plan on being a pilot. I just wanted to, I was like, well, what are they talking about? What's going on with them? So you can do that. It's okay. Just go show up somewhere. Anything you're curious about, explore it. And it it'll it'll get that fire going.

Jennifer Loehding:

I love it, Nick. Well, we appreciate you jumping on here and sharing what's with us today. I'm gonna reach out to you on social so we can stay connected that way. Also, when we get this out, we'll make sure you know. We will also put links in the notes as well. So anybody listening, um, if they want to get in touch with you, they'll have a way to reach out to you too. So thank you for all your great information and sharing and all the good stuff. It's been great.

Nick Shelton:

Absolutely. Thank you for having me.

Jennifer Loehding:

Absolutely. And of course, to our audience, we appreciate you, love you, hope you found this episode both inspiring and informative. And if you did, you know what to do, all the things. Like, share, subscribe, comment, so we can keep sharing all of this fabulous content. And as I always say, in order to live the extraordinary, you must start. Every start begins with a decision. You guys take care, be safe, be kind to one another, and we will see you next time.

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Jennifer Loehding

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